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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Nursey newsletter... shocking!

44 replies

fredip71 · 05/02/2007 16:18

I got my ds nursery newletter today and at the end of it, it says , I quote ' It has recently come to our attention that a small minority of parents are chosing to use illegal substances during their spare time'. Heuh? It then goes on about the obvious fact that it is unacceptable to pick up a child when drunk or on drugs etc... and that Nottingham City Social Services would be contacted...
Let's make one thing clear: I am not on drugs and I hate alcohol and of course, I agree that a child is at risk if picked up by someone who is not in a normal state, but the sentence I just quoted seems to be an accusation, is it legit to write this kind of stuff? And parents who do this should get their problems sorted. I am just wondering what your thoughts are? Ta!

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Overrun · 05/02/2007 16:20

How totally strange, what kind of nursery is it? Private, state, posh, not so posh?

marymillington · 05/02/2007 16:21

I think its fair enough for the nursery to have a policy of not releasing children into the care of someone obviously drunk or under the influence of drugs.

Maybe, however, they need to work on their communication skills.

kiskidee · 05/02/2007 16:22

it may be legit to write this stuff but imo it is unprofessional and poor customer awareness to do so.

if they have a concern. they should contact ss, period. not make statements that will upset and anger well meaning parents.

Hulababy · 05/02/2007 16:22

The nursery DD went to before school started, sent out a newsletter once with something similar. It was just before Christmas and it said that people would not be allowed to take their children home if they were intoxicated or had clearly been drinking - they quoted some legislation that said they were unable to release the child into the care of even a parent if they were under the influence.

To be fair to the nurseyr, if they are aware of some parents collecting children in an unfit state, then they really do have to be seen to be doing something about it.

kiskidee · 05/02/2007 16:23

or speak to the parent who comes in and appear drunk.

Hulababy · 05/02/2007 16:23

I don't see why it should upset or ofend people who are not actually trying to collect their children in an unfot state. I'd been pleased my child's nursery actually cared enough to try and do something about it.

happystory · 05/02/2007 16:24

Agree it's a bit off to say 'it has come to our attention', makes everyone go 'is it him,is it her?' but agree with the premise that there should be a policy. They are obliged to spell it out so that if they do ever have to call social services, people can't say they haven't been forewarned...

Imafairy · 05/02/2007 16:27

I'm convinced that a parent of one of the children at my DSs' nursery sometimes turns up "under the influence" and I am in a really difficult position - I don't want to approach her directly (n case I'm wrong), nor do I want her to drive off with her DS and crash the car.
I have been thinking about having a word with the nursery, and would be perfectly happy for them to put out a newsletter like that.

Original poster

fredip71 · 05/02/2007 16:37

It is a private nursery, quite small, but not posh by any means. The truth is, their policy of contacting social services has never been made clear and this was reflected on their last OFSTED report. Indeed, as marymillington and kidkeedie said they really have a problem with their communication skills. I did actually wonder this morning 'who might it be?'. I do need to talk to the manager about my ds 'hurt' (as he says) on his chin last Thursday as no one noticed it and it wasn't reported in the accident book. I just find the wording of the letter indeed a bit strange.

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nikkie · 05/02/2007 21:09

When dd2 was in nursery there was a mother who regularly dropped off drunk (she walked into the wall once in front of me) but she never picked up in that state it was always the Dad that picked up usually with 'Mammy isn't feeling very well'

julienetmum · 06/02/2007 15:45

I think that is a perfectly acceptible way of putting it. It is a clear warning to whoever it is that this will not be accepted.

morningpaper · 06/02/2007 15:48

I don't see why this is shocking at all - what is shocking is the fact that parents are turning up STONED!

Original poster

fredip71 · 06/02/2007 18:13

Obviously, that's I what I meant...I am not that stupid to think that's it is ok to turn up stoned or pissed at nursery!!!
Sorry guys, but English is not my first language, I probably didn't express myself very well.

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 09/02/2007 13:32

I think that the bit I'd take issue with is "are chosing to use illegal substances during their spare time'"...... my response to that would be "and...?". What a parent chooses to do in their spare time is bugger all to do with the nursery. If an individual parents is obviously under the influence when they pick up their child that is a different matter. Badly written to say the least

Pennies · 09/02/2007 13:35

I have no problem with the terminology - it gets the message across loud and clear. Why on earth should they pussy foot around such an important issue? Good on them, I say.

kiskidee · 09/02/2007 13:51

every service that looks after children in any capacity has a legal duty of care protect children and to report to the police or SS an incident where a child is in danger.

i thought everyone knew that, the nursery spelling it out in this fashion is bound to create worry, gossip and bad feeling.

all they effing need to do if the are so damn concerned is call the police to say that a car with x registration is being driven with a stoned individual behind the wheel and also have a child in the back.

over, done with, and in complete confidence and even anonymity.

otoh, the nursery manager ought to have a confidential word , expressing their concerns to and giving support to the suspected user/abuser before contacting the police or ss.

sending out a newsletter with this just points to the weaknesses of the management imho.

mummydear · 09/02/2007 13:52

Agree with the nusery on this , bugger that some parents are upset about the wording , the welfare of the children is most important and papramount- the basis of any any chidcare setting I believe.

yorkshirelass79 · 09/02/2007 13:59

Message withdrawn

Original poster

fredip71 · 09/02/2007 23:27

I never said I was upset. It took the management two weeks to put a notice on the door to say there was a case of chicken pox b4 Christmas. Of course, they have a duty of care and their message couldn't be clearer.

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liquidclocks · 09/02/2007 23:31

I think it's fine - along the same lines as the disclaimer you have to sign that acknowledges that if they suspect abuse then SS will be contacted.

I know it doesn't apply to me - but I still sign it.

oops · 09/02/2007 23:40

Message withdrawn

NurseyJo · 09/02/2007 23:47

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

fredip71 · 09/02/2007 23:54

Agree with you NurseyJo. Sign of crappy management.

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BassMama · 10/02/2007 00:00

Sorry but what the hell has it to do with either the nursery or the other parents what people do 'in their spare time?!'

In my spare time, i drink and I use recreational drugs. Regularly. I certainly wouldnt class it, as you have, as a problem! its a lifestyle choice, not a problem. And it has no bearing on my role and responsibilities as a mother, as it is something I do not do around my DS. fact, i am also a heavy smoker but do not even smoke in front of him.

If one of of the other mothers at my DS nursery knew this about me, and contacted SS, i would be livid.

My spare time is exactly that, and noone elses business.

Very strange of your nursery to do this.

NurseyJo · 10/02/2007 00:09

This reply has been deleted

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