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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Feelings on male nursery staff

27 replies

MaleNurseryWorker · 03/08/2012 12:32

I recently saw a thread from last year in which someone was furious that her DD had been taken to the toilet by a male member of staff without female supervision. This attitude both disgusted and angered me and I am now curious to hear the feelings of others on male nursery staff.

OP posts:

LemarchandsBox · 03/08/2012 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3duracellbunnies · 03/08/2012 12:39

Ds is really looking forward to his male key worker! Maybe I should request that any female workers are accompanied by a male worker with my son then again he would probably appreciate the extra opportunity to expose his willie! . If the child themselves was uncomfortable I might have a word, but only because of their distress, not my views. Dd2 hated anyone seeing her, male or female, young or old.

Original poster

MaleNurseryWorker · 03/08/2012 12:49

I am aware that some children do not take to staff male or female and do not want to be accompanied to the toilet and that is not an issue to me as I have experience this with key children male and female that they just didn't want me to help then change from soiled clothes. But I felt for a arent to be taking this view was extremely sexist and is the reason I am part of a minority in this profession which to me is a crying shame as most of the children I work with love having me there and many don't have a male role model at home and for me to be there to provide some form male role model to them is fantastic.

OP posts:

SchrodingersMew · 03/08/2012 12:51

It would only bother me if my child was bothered but I have a boy and would actually be quite happy to see male nursery staff.

But adult females are usually seen by female staff or offered a female chaperone during intimate exams and such to preserve their dignity and I feel it is only fair if kids are given an option too. Just because they are young does not mean they do not get embarrased, it is unfair to only take the parents views about this or for a male member of staff to get annoyed because the child doesn't want a certain gender to see them.

SchrodingersMew · 03/08/2012 12:52

And you also have to remember that some parents may have been subject to abuse as a child or adult and do not trust a certain gender. For someone to think badly of them for that is quite evil as it would not be their fault they are gender biased.

Nevercan · 03/08/2012 20:16

There are two male nursery staff at my dd's nursery and she doesn't seem to treat them any differently to the ladies. I have to say it doesn't worry me

LuckyOwl28 · 05/08/2012 14:28

I have worked in 4 different Nursery establishments and have never come across a male worker. I know traditionally it is women who are thought of as the natural carers of children, but I personally think children would benefit massively if there were more males in the industry. Exposing children to both sexes in a caring, fun environment would surely be better than just females, no matter how good the care was. It doesn't give our children a clear picture of the mixed sex world they now live in.
I suppose in the majority of cases children are lucky enough to have a Father figure at home, but particularly for those who don't I think it is vital for their social development to encourage their confidence with both male and female adults. In a number of cases at work I have seen children who live alone with Mum cower or cry if a male comes into the workplace (a parent, visitor or builder for eg), but are fine with other women.
I think we still have a longer way to go than we think in our attitude to sexism in certain trades, and I hope that young men are not deterred from going for a job because of prehistoric views. The idea (which unfortunately I think a lot of people have) that a male wouldn't want to work in a childcare setting without sinister motives is both ridiculous and disgusting. We are all familiar with the Vanessa George case and those like it.

Wolfiefan · 05/08/2012 14:33

My DD goes to a great Co op nursery. Staff are great. (Including the man!) She is happy and so am I.
Would you worry about a woman taking a boy to the loo? Gay man taking a boy? Where would the worry end?
I trust these people. They are CRB checked and trained. Toilet area not secluded but open to all kids and staff.
Thank you guys for all your hard work. DD loves you all! (Nearly as much as the Gruffalo!)

Sirzy · 05/08/2012 14:38

I think it's a shame childcare is still a female dominated career, there are some men who would be great at it who wouldn't because of the attitudes of some idiots

vintagewhine · 05/08/2012 14:44

Dd has always had a man carer, first in her childminder setting and now in her nursery. It's never bothered us in any way and she's never had a problem with it.
Re changing her or helping her go to the loo, well I don't see how it's any more undignified whether it's a man or woman,just a fact of life when your a child.

Wheezo · 05/08/2012 14:45

We have a lovely male nursery worker at my DS's nursery who tbh my DS is fairly indifferent to ( only as much as other female nursery staff - he has his favourites) but I like the fact he's there because it adds to the diversity and also challenges the view that childcare is " women's work" - also he is a young black bloke with two blinging earrings in who makes excellent playdo so he challenges a lot of stereotypes at once think he's a trainee so hope he finds it rewarding as a career and sticks around

fuzzpig · 05/08/2012 14:50

I was over the moon that my DD's daycare nursery had a man working there as I hadn't seen one in any of the others I'd looked at. R ended up being her favourite and he really was fab. His little boy ended up going to the same preschool as her too so we still see him around.

I was sexually abused, but by my uncle, so for me it doesn't affect my trust of strangers, but I can understand how it does for others if they were abuse by strangers. I admit I did have a slight 'problem' with the other male worker (who worked with the after school club so not with my DD) - he looked so exactly like my uncle that it really got to me for a while. I got used to it though and see him about quite a bit now.

I think it's great for DD to see men in caring roles - after all her dad is a SAHP now and is probably better at it than I ever was. :)

I would really love to see more men in nurseries and schools. could. It is a shame that it is still so unusual that it stands out as an issue.

vintagewhine · 05/08/2012 14:51

You're

fuzzpig · 05/08/2012 14:52

Don't know where the 'could' came from

vintagewhine · 05/08/2012 14:56

male, sweet jesus I'm illiterate.

Bossybritches22 · 05/08/2012 15:09

I ran a daycare nursery for over 10 years, & would have LOVED a male NN.

Only a couple of times did I get close, one withdrew his application for personal reasons, the other (ironically) couldn't sort childcare when his wife got promoted.
He was DESPERATE to start with us as an apprentice & had volunteered for a week as a trial before we both committed to it as he came from a telesales background. He was lovely & the kids crawled all over him & he quickly formed a fab rapport with them, the staff & parents & would have made an excellent NN.

I hope he gets his break soon, he's a natural.

MNW it is a battle with some folks attitudes but hopefully its a minority & thank you for standing up to be counted. I think it's vitally important to have more positive male role models in Early Years & primary, especially with more LP's & absent fathers in a lot of childrens lives.

Flyingwithoutwings · 05/08/2012 23:38

malenurseryworker thank goodness for you and men like you.
DS's key worker is male (DS is now in preschool) and, unashamedly, I was hoping he would get him.
He's the room leader and I can see why. His enthusiasm, love and energy for the children is so very clear. DS has really warmed to him as have me and DH.
I can't explain it but he just oozes understanding for children. Nothing about him is "odd". He's a credit to the nursery and, if he left, I'd have DS's name on the waiting list for his new nursery ASAP.

I think it's priceless to have a mix of sexes when it comes to child care, I just wish there were more.

StiffyByng · 06/08/2012 20:19

One of the reasons we chose our daughter's nursery was that they had a male member of staff. He is extremely popular and she adores him. I would have no problem with him changing her nappy or taking her to the loo. My husband was so pleased to find him on the staff!

wfhmumoftwo · 10/08/2012 11:22

There is a male NN at my daughters nursery - she is now 4. I think it is fantastic. The kids all love him and he is so great with them and really cares for them. My daughter adores him.I have no problem with him taking her to the toilet (and had no problem with the females taking my son either when he attended)
I think it is such a shame that more men are not in this profession (and primary school teaching as well)
Also, lets not forget that most recent cases of child abuse in nursery have been perpretrated by women.

Foxy800 · 10/08/2012 21:08

I think it is important to have male workers and i think it is a shame there are not more to be honest.

Scarfmaker · 10/08/2012 22:09

Yes it is a shame just like there's not enough male primary school teachers.

At secondary school level male teachers seem to be on an even par.

mummy2midget · 17/08/2012 16:06

I wish there was a man at DDs nursery it's a bad wee team of 6 staff and the right man would add to it perfectly. Sadly the closest they've managed was a young volunteer who was there weekly for 9 months.

TiggyD · 17/08/2012 20:18

If anybody wants a male nursery nurse for their nursery, I'm available: I can do a great pirate voice, elephant impression, and reach stuff very high up. What more do you need!

elliejjtiny · 17/08/2012 20:26

My DH is a male nursery nurse and now I'm wondering if he looks after any of the posters on this thread have him looking after your dc's

madbutnotbad · 17/08/2012 20:35

My dd had several male teachers and assistants in her foundation level class and they were all great. I can honestly say I have no idea who took her to the toilet or even if any did - she never complained and I never asked (I did ask about her day overall just not about toilet habits!).
Her breakfast club was run by a lovely man who I decided must have been a saint as he sorted out breakfast every morning for around 6 kids pretty much on his own and they all loved him, which is much more than I could ever do!

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