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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

DS missing at nursery - please tell me that this isn't right?

45 replies

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 17:37

DH went to pick DS (2.5 yrs) up from nursery - the NNs couldn't find him, eventually after calling him and getting no response (and getting abit panicky) DH found him in the bathroom 'washing his hands'/flooding the entire place, NNs didn't seem bothered that they didn't even know where he was nevermind that he had been in the bathroom for an unknown amount of time.

I am pissed off to say the least, he's only in for 3 afternoons a week and I honestly feel like they don't care and ripped off to be paying for them to not keen an eye on him. Also there was only 5/6 other children so not as if they were mad busy either. I know you need eyes in the back of your head with toddlers but my gut feeling is that he isn't getting looked after properly - can any MNers give me advice please, had a bad day at work too and am feeling abit emotional - am I overreacting and what's your suggestions? See the Manager or even start looking for alternative childcare?

Wish I was a SAHM

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Beamur · 12/04/2011 17:42

I wouldn't have been impressed with that either. I think you're right to be cross and upset and once calm, I'd be composing a letter to the manager and asking to meet them to discuss your concerns.
If you think this nursery is not looking after your child properly, then consider changing.

MollieO · 12/04/2011 17:42

If it were me I'd be looking for alternative childcare. Did this happen today? I'd also expect a call from the manager.

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 17:48

Thanks Beamur, MollieO - yes it happened today - doubt I'd be getting a call from the Manager though, they have had alot of staff/Management changes recently and standards definitely seem to be suffering.

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MillsAndDoom · 12/04/2011 17:52

That's really crap - IIWY I would either raise merry hell so that they change their procedures so that this can never happen again or I would be moving him.

DS was a similar age when his nursery group went back inside after afternoon play time and left him happily playing on the fort unseen.

It wasn't until some time later when a parent came to collect their child that they asked the nursery if they knew that there was a little boy outside alone. There were rockets up a few arses that night for sure.

MollieO · 12/04/2011 17:53

I would have thought they needed to fill in an incident report and you should have received a copy. I would be seeing the manager asap.

MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 17:55

Hmm. Not sure.

How long was he missing - from the time that you arrived?

Are they allowed to go alone to the loo?

pozzled · 12/04/2011 17:58

I would definitely complain. Is the bathroom a fair way from the play area? In DD's nursery, I think the children can come and go to the bathroom on their own but it's right next door and staff can look through the window to the handwashing area so they certainly couldn't 'lose' a child for any length of time.

QuintessentialShadows · 12/04/2011 17:58

yes, I would also expect a call from the manager to say that your son had gone to the bathroom all by himself.

He wasnt missing, you know, he was in the bathroom.

bibbitybobbityhat · 12/04/2011 17:58

Well ... he was just in a different room. Do you expect the nursery nurses to know exactly where all the children are at any one time? Are they all confined to one room only?

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 17:58

MillsAndDoom

Do you mind me asking - were the staff more vigilant with your DS/procedures changed after you complained?

Have been asking DS what he was doing - he said he was cleaning the toilet (got him to show me in our bathroom - looks like he's been wiping inside the bowl with tissue - so just going to have too keep an eye on his health now too)

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llareggub · 12/04/2011 18:02

This would be normal for my son's old pre-school. They encouraged children to use the loos independently, something I was very grateful for when DS2 was born.

At his current pre-school this isn't possible due to the location of the loos and I think it is a real shame that the children there aren't able to develop this independence.

It really depends on the set-up at your son's nursery. Is there a safe route to the loos?

MollieO · 12/04/2011 18:04

If he had gone to use the toilet I would expect a member of staff to know that he had. From what you said no one knew where he was. Whilst I wouldn't expect every member of staff to know where he is i would expect one to know.

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 18:07

Ok, they are basically in two rooms (dining/kitchen and a main playroom) with a normal (1.5 metre wide-ish) doorway in between, the bathroom is in a third room not next to the main playroom. He's still potty training so can do so much then needs NN to do any wiping, I understand and am ok for him to be left to poo/wee for as long as it takes, but from the sound of the mess he made (bunged up 2 loos and a sink with paper) he had been clearly left alone for too long and the fact that both the NNs seem as if they didn't even realise he'd gone in there.

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Monkeytoo · 12/04/2011 18:07

This would worry me too. They should have known where he is plus a 2.5 year old shouldn't be able to play with water alone.

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 18:08

Exactly MollieO

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dontmarryadrinker · 12/04/2011 18:10

Sorry but thats terrible.

He was missing. Whether or not he was in the bathroom or whatever. They did not know where your 2.5 ds was, so he was missing.

Unacceptable imvho.

bonkers20 · 12/04/2011 18:13

I'd look for alternative care and file an official complaint.
The staff should know where ALL their charges are at all times and I think a 2.5 year old should not be in the bathroom alone.

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 18:16

He's very vocal about when he needs the toilet (nursery have also confirmed that he's a chatter box there too) so I don't think he went for a wee/poo (had clothes on) it seems strange that this happend at home-time' as generally that is one of the few time of the day all the kids are 'rounded up' so it seems even weirder that they didn't realise where he was for that time of day. IYNWIM

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MmeSurvivedLent · 12/04/2011 18:24

Yes, but it could have been just a couple of minutes?

Now, I do think that you have valid grounds to complain about them not looking to see where he was, but if you are otherwise happy with the nursery then I would not take him out of there.

Speak to the manager, express your concern and see what she says.

MollieO · 12/04/2011 18:31

I would be very concerned that a day later they have not bothered to contact you. It would make me question their procedures, ie does the manager even know about the incident? If she/he doesn't that would actually concern me even more. What else could be happening that the manager doesn't know about? If they do know about it but haven't contacted you then personally I wouldn't keep my child there.

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 18:32

MmeSurvivedLent - I know, but that's the problem nobody knows just how long he was in there! I'll have to see the Manager tomorrow, I know were all human and mistakes are made but I just don't know how they could have missed him as there was two NNs and 5 or 6 kids (incl DS) so I would have thought it would be more obvious that one was missing.

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MollieO · 12/04/2011 18:32

A couple of minutes in the life of a 2.5 yr old is a long time imo. Plenty of time to get into trouble.

BornToYolk · 12/04/2011 18:34

I wouldn't be happy. I like the idea of encouraging them to use the toilet by themselves but a member of staff should have known where he was and a rough idea of when he'd be back. It's not the fact that he was by himself in the bathroom that would concern me, it's that the staff had no clue where he was.
I think you need to raise it with the manager

Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 18:36

MollieO - it happened today - chances are the Manager doesn't know yet (if she is even going to be told at all )

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Original poster

namechange999 · 12/04/2011 18:39

Sorry BornToYolk x post - exactly, Im well aware that primary school will be upon us sooner than we think and Im keen to get him able to go to the toilet by himself but again it seems they just didn't even realise he wasn't about.

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