Should I pull the plug on our bath time routine?

[Mushroommush]

I am a first time mum and I have a 3 month old. We have created a little bath time routine before bed which we all seem to love... I think. I get her undressed and wrap her in a towel and sing a little song as we walk to the bath. The bath itself is usually a quick affair and always goes well.

My husband slightly warms a towel in the tumble dryer and then we lay her on the bed, cosy lamp on and dry her off. Once she's all dried we lay her on a soft blanket in her nappy ready to get dressed. She seems to enjoy it and so do we! Then all hell breaks loose. She screams hysterically whilst we get her dressed. Mainly putting her arms in the vest. It's only for a few minutes but it's an ordeal and she really goes for it.

Once I pick her up and give her a cuddle, she's fine and makes little whimpering noises to let me know it was traumatic and sucks on her dummy all cute and sleepily and then we sit in a dim room and cuddle. I thought maybe it was just her making a fuss and she sees it as part of the routine and loves being soothed after but then I thought maybe I'm stressing this little baby out every evening unnecessarily.

If I give her a bath in the morning, she doesn't scream the house down when getting dressed but it doesn't feel as special. For one my husband isn't there and I just get her dressed and that's that. No cute sleepy cuddles.

Long story short... Should I just call it quits on the cute evening bath time routine and just bath her in the morning and save her the tears/stress? Or is it something I should continue with because other than getting dressed, she seems to love it and stick to routine?

What is in your daughter’s best interests?

It does seem fairly unnecessarily drawn out. Just bath, dry, dressed. No need for lying around with cosy lamps.

That's what I'm trying to work out. Is the crying part enough for me to call it quits or is it a case of some babies just don't like getting dressed but it's worth preserving to maintain the routine and having the bonding moments.

Is the dressing bit that is making your baby distressed? Wanted to be sure. I would carry on with the routine and just cut out what makes her cry to see if that helps. If it’s the dressing can you just put the baby in robe whilst you cuddle and maybe get the baby dressed after

I can see that. Maybe I'll try stick to the basics one evening and see if that helps with the hysterics of getting dressed.

You’re massively overthinking it. If you enjoy it then carry on, but not everything has to be ‘special’.

Yes the getting dressed part is the only bit she seems to hate. I like the idea of getting her dressed after the cuddle. By that point she's usually half asleep though and not sure how that would go down but worth a try. Thanks

Sorry just re read the post and it is the dressing that upsets your baby. I would keep everything the same up until the dressing up. I know you’re a first time mom so if you want it to be special carry on. It goes so quickly (which I know it doesn’t feel like that when you’re in it). Do the cozy up lamps, do the cuddling, the warming of the towel. It’s all ok. Also - even if baby cries - the baby won’t be traumatised I promise. Not from that. But I understand how it feels it’s hard to watch. You’re going great!

Yes so it will depend on the baby. My eldest and my youngest could not give a flying fig once they were half asleep, I would change their nappies and feed them and they would carry on sleeping. My middle child if you set her down wrong in the cot she would scream bloody murder!

I agree that I'm overthinking it. What I learn from this bath/crying experience I can take into other areas of my parenting and have a better understanding about getting the balance right between causing unnecessary stress and just preserving cause babies cry.

Thank you, I appreciate it. We don't really have any other OTT or special parts in the day. Everything else is relatively bog standard. I had a lovely bath time routine with my nan that I remember fondly and I wanted that for my baby too.

Was unsure whether the tears and stress of getting dressed outweighed the rest.

Its lovely that you have the time to spend together like this, however I think just leave the getting dressed a little longer- its possibly more to do with wanting to be cuddled and not put down. I would stop tumble drying the towel though, it's rather sweet but very unnecessary.

Agreed, we really enjoy it.

The towel thing is my husband's way of wanting to get involved. He brings the towel in as I get her out the bath and wraps it round her to keep her warm.

My god that sounds so much fuss. No wonder she gets pissed off. She doesn't need that many baths, it will dry her skin out. She'll be nice and relaxed, then you're faffing around with blankets and clothes, having probably got cold and used lots of energy.

Other than me creating a bit of embiance by switching a lamp on and laying her on a soft blanket, it's a pretty straightforward affair.

We don't use soap most of the time, just warm water but I'll be sure to keep an eye on her skin.

It might just be that all of this is taking too much time so on an evening when she’s tired & getting ready for sleep, she can’t be arsed and would rather just crack on with it and get it done. Totally normal especially for such a young baby- there’s lots of time for special bath times when she’s a bit older :)

Good point. The whole thing from start to finish takes probably less than 10 minutes. It's a normal bath other than me switching a lamp on and laying a blanket on the bed (which I do beforehand) and my husband sticks a towel in the tumble dryer whilst I'm bathing her. I'll strip it back to basics and see if that makes a difference. As you said, I can always make it more special when she gets older.

I remember my DS going through a phase of this. It was literally just not liking the vest being put on, being faffed about with, and they can’t speak to tell you that. Honestly it all sounds fine, just get her dressed quickly and back to cuddles, you’re not doing anything wrong and you can’t leave her undressed!

Are you maybe leaving it all too late? At 3 months old she really doesn’t need a bath every day, it may be better to take the daily bath out of the equation for now.

She may still love skin to skin contact so I think afterward cuddling her against you until she’s more sleepy and then dressing may work.

and if it doesn’t you can try something else.

what I think is going to matter most is you’re clearly in tune with your baby and that will mean your building attachment which helps her feel secure.

I think it sounds lovely. I wonder if she just gets all warm and comfy in her lovely snuggly towel, and feels the shock when it's time to get dressed.
A short bath in the evenings is a good routine and isn't going to do her skin any harm.

Its not great for baby's skin to bathe everyday anyway. I was recently part of a study with 100 babies where half could bathe as often as they like and the other half were told to only bathe once a week from birth to six months. DD's skin was then examined and apparently the results are very promising in terms of reducing things like eczema developing, so they are now repeating the study with 1000 babies to see if they get the same results. So id have a bath bedtime routine and a non bath bedtime routine that you can switch between throughout the week.

I’d bathe her in the morning when she doesn’t get upset and probably only every other day unless there’s been a hideous nappy situation because it’s better for her skin. Your husband can give her cuddles and read her stories at bedtime without the unnecessary faff (tumble drying a towel??) and crying.

What’s different compared to the morning bath time routine?
My first thought was rough handling reading your description and when it happens. Is it you or DH doing the dressing and not catching her skin or pulling her arms the wrong way by accident? Edit: reread your post that first baby.
Are you are waking her up from sleep or moving her from nice warm towel to cold clothes?

Thank you. I haven't noticed any skin issues so far. We only use water most of the time. The idea initially was to help her relax in the evenings when she was having bad wind and now I think it's something she enjoys (other than getting dressed that is).