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Original poster

Should I pull the plug on our bath time routine?

50 replies

Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 17:12

I am a first time mum and I have a 3 month old. We have created a little bath time routine before bed which we all seem to love... I think. I get her undressed and wrap her in a towel and sing a little song as we walk to the bath. The bath itself is usually a quick affair and always goes well.

My husband slightly warms a towel in the tumble dryer and then we lay her on the bed, cosy lamp on and dry her off. Once she's all dried we lay her on a soft blanket in her nappy ready to get dressed. She seems to enjoy it and so do we! Then all hell breaks loose. She screams hysterically whilst we get her dressed. Mainly putting her arms in the vest. It's only for a few minutes but it's an ordeal and she really goes for it.

Once I pick her up and give her a cuddle, she's fine and makes little whimpering noises to let me know it was traumatic and sucks on her dummy all cute and sleepily and then we sit in a dim room and cuddle. I thought maybe it was just her making a fuss and she sees it as part of the routine and loves being soothed after but then I thought maybe I'm stressing this little baby out every evening unnecessarily.

If I give her a bath in the morning, she doesn't scream the house down when getting dressed but it doesn't feel as special. For one my husband isn't there and I just get her dressed and that's that. No cute sleepy cuddles.

Long story short... Should I just call it quits on the cute evening bath time routine and just bath her in the morning and save her the tears/stress? Or is it something I should continue with because other than getting dressed, she seems to love it and stick to routine?

OP posts:
Silversal · 11/09/2025 19:37

Are you putting the vest over her head? That scares babies as the light cuts out. Try putting it on from the bottom up.

Original poster
Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 19:38

DeliciouslyBaked · 11/09/2025 19:24

Its not great for baby's skin to bathe everyday anyway. I was recently part of a study with 100 babies where half could bathe as often as they like and the other half were told to only bathe once a week from birth to six months. DD's skin was then examined and apparently the results are very promising in terms of reducing things like eczema developing, so they are now repeating the study with 1000 babies to see if they get the same results. So id have a bath bedtime routine and a non bath bedtime routine that you can switch between throughout the week.

I like that idea, thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 19:47

itsgettingweird · 11/09/2025 19:09

She may still love skin to skin contact so I think afterward cuddling her against you until she’s more sleepy and then dressing may work.

and if it doesn’t you can try something else.

what I think is going to matter most is you’re clearly in tune with your baby and that will mean your building attachment which helps her feel secure. Flowers

Thank you. It's the moment in the day that I feel we connect the strongest. My gut tells me she loves it just as much as me.

Just need to find a workaround the getting dressed part but the comments have given me some ideas ❤

OP posts:
Ygfrhj · 11/09/2025 19:48

My husband did all the bath times but I'm pretty sure he would get her dried and dressed in the bathroom with the normal lights on, then take her for a cuddle in her room with lights dimmed.

Maybe your baby is all relaxed and thinks it's time to sleep then somebody starts stuffing her into a onesie so she gets pissed off?

Original poster
Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 19:51

Whomitmayconcern · 11/09/2025 19:29

What’s different compared to the morning bath time routine?
My first thought was rough handling reading your description and when it happens. Is it you or DH doing the dressing and not catching her skin or pulling her arms the wrong way by accident? Edit: reread your post that first baby.
Are you are waking her up from sleep or moving her from nice warm towel to cold clothes?

Edited

I think the only difference between morning and evening is how much patience she has left. I bath her close to bedtime so I think when it comes to getting dressed she's just tired and over it and wants to get to the good part.

OP posts:
Duckyfondant · 11/09/2025 19:52

I feel a bit bad for your husband tumble drying the towel. You could take turns or he could read a book? As for the bath, I reckon baby just gets woken up a bit being dressed, and loads of them don't like vests over the head, as someone else mentioned.

Mulledjuice · 11/09/2025 19:58

Doesn't matter what you call it, if you cant have snuggly cuddles with your 3 month old then there's something wrong with the world.

We used to have similar - i think by the time we were done with bath and getting dressed he was too tired and just wanted to be able to fall asleep. You could try pulling the whole thing forward 30 mins and see if that helps. My son would seem to (still does) tip from "perfectly fine maybe a yawn" to "OMG get me to sleep now!!" in the blink of an eye but they are usually giving cues. I think if I had a warm bath and a snuggle I'd quickly just want to nod off.

Original poster
Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 20:00

Duckyfondant · 11/09/2025 19:52

I feel a bit bad for your husband tumble drying the towel. You could take turns or he could read a book? As for the bath, I reckon baby just gets woken up a bit being dressed, and loads of them don't like vests over the head, as someone else mentioned.

I mentioned to him about stripping the whole routine back to basics and he said "I still wanna warm the towel". It's obviously a moment he enjoys - running in with a warm towel to wrap around his baby daughter and make her feel cosy.

He's usually washing up whilst I'm bathing her but we could always take it in turns.

OP posts:
Pollqueen · 11/09/2025 20:03

I have a couple of kids and several grandkids and I think all have them have screamed at that age whilst being dressed. It's a phase and it won't last

Your evening routine sounds lovely so I'd carry on if you enjoy it

thismummyslife · 11/09/2025 20:05

Maybe the routine is working too well and she starts to get super tired and grumpy at this stage, or perhaps she is anticipating her bottle at this point (which is what my nine month always does!) x

anon2022anon · 11/09/2025 20:10

I think I would do the opposite to lots of these suggestions and get her dressed as quick as I could, and then do a lay on the blanket/ cuddle. I would assume that she's getting all relaxed and ready for sleep, and then doesn't like being manipulated into clothes.

GreyAreas · 11/09/2025 20:18

It's cute, enjoy your time with your baby, let the routine flex and evolve and change to suit you all. It sounds like getting kids dressed after swimming, or on the beach, when they always cry, because it's been fun and relaxing and then suddenly it's cold/rough clothes/being moved around or having clothes over the head. I'd try getting her dressed before blanket, though I understand why you don't. She's just enjoying it too much!

phasedout2025 · 11/09/2025 20:20

This is normal op. Both mine went through this crying afterwards stage and stopped after a while

Original poster
Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 20:46

Mulledjuice · 11/09/2025 19:58

Doesn't matter what you call it, if you cant have snuggly cuddles with your 3 month old then there's something wrong with the world.

We used to have similar - i think by the time we were done with bath and getting dressed he was too tired and just wanted to be able to fall asleep. You could try pulling the whole thing forward 30 mins and see if that helps. My son would seem to (still does) tip from "perfectly fine maybe a yawn" to "OMG get me to sleep now!!" in the blink of an eye but they are usually giving cues. I think if I had a warm bath and a snuggle I'd quickly just want to nod off.

Yeah I think getting dressed most requires more patience than she's got that time in the evening and she just wants to get to the good part.

She falls asleep straight after but does so even when we've done it earlier. I think she just enters cosy mode and the faff of getting dressed just winds her up.

I even feel like she think that crying is part of the routine itself. It does seem that way sometimes. She knows what's coming after the tears and that's her favourite part.

OP posts:
Hayley1256 · 11/09/2025 20:54

I really wouldn't be bathing a baby that much - it doesn't allow their skin to build up natural oil. I would try and find another routine for non bath days like baby massage etc

ColinVsCuthbert · 11/09/2025 21:02

Our DD definitely has sensory issues, hates tight clothing and socks now. We didn't know it at the time, but the first sign of this was trying to clothe her as a baby. Dressing her was like fighting a ferral dying cat, every time. Some days it took two of us to get the clothes on. We look back and laugh now, but wow, those were some times.

Try to change her bath routine to be shorter, maybe she is just frustrated. If not consider what she is being dressed in, maybe try extra soft, loose clothing to test it out.

settingthestage · 11/09/2025 23:04

Maybe warm her clothes at the same time as the towel?

StrangerOnline · 11/09/2025 23:17

I think the warm towel thing sounds lovely (best thing about getting divorced is now the whole of my towel can get warm on the bathroom rack!) and I understand why your husband wants to continue it.

But I just want to remind you of the importance of him getting involved with bath time itself too. So do consider taking turns. If you need to vary the routine at any point in future (eg/ if you are out, or unwell) then daughter will not be so bothered by a change in routine.

and great idea above - warm the clothes to put on after?

ThisTipsyGreyCrab · 12/09/2025 20:20

Is she just suddenly getting cold? Every other part of the routine involves some warmth. Do you heat her clothes up / keep her part covered whilst placing clothes on?

DaisyChain505 · 12/09/2025 20:27

Baby’s and children do not need to bathe every day. It isn’t good for their skin.

cestlavielife · 12/09/2025 20:34

Mushroommush · 11/09/2025 17:39

Thank you, I appreciate it. We don't really have any other OTT or special parts in the day. Everything else is relatively bog standard. I had a lovely bath time routine with my nan that I remember fondly and I wanted that for my baby too.

Was unsure whether the tears and stress of getting dressed outweighed the rest.

Show quote history

But that would ve from when you were three years old not three months !
You do not remember your baths from three months old
Babies cry is what they do.
so if you not actively harming her it's just a protest she felt some cold air after being all warm it is not harmful

  1. She won't remember her bath at three months

Tho of course you want a nice experience .
Babies cry sometimes

  1. You are doing these memories for you at this age
  2. If it s 30 seconds crying while you get her dressed keep at it and close your ears
mathanxiety · 13/09/2025 19:24

Are you putting on the same clothes in the evening as you're successfully putting on in the morning or are they tighter or scratcher? Would pajamas in a bigger size help at all?

mathanxiety · 13/09/2025 19:27

DaisyChain505 · 12/09/2025 20:27

Baby’s and children do not need to bathe every day. It isn’t good for their skin.

Agree.

It's fun for the parents, maybe a bonding experience, etc, but there are other aspects of baby care you could bond over, or you could even use cleaning up together after the day to boost your relationship.

mathanxiety · 13/09/2025 19:31

Be very careful about warming baby clothes as snaps and zips can get much hotter than the fabric, especially in a dryer.

It would be better to get the baby used to varied temperatures - bathwater, normal towel, normal temp clothes. Turn up the background heat if your house is chilly.

If you have a second baby, I guarantee that baby will manage fine without half the care and attention to detail you are able to lavish on the one you have now.

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