Afro hair is not allowed in primary school

[Mumkris]

Hello everyone,
I am really struggling to understand why my son’s hair is not allowed in school. He is biracial and he loves his gorgeous curly hair. His primary school, however insists that he should cut it or plait his hair as it’s causing a distraction and they “cannot have that”?!
I read their hair policy and there is nothing against that. His hair is long but not long enough to be tied back. It is what it is - natural!

We don’t have problems with nits and needless to say we wash it every week. Why can’t people just be themselves? A 10 year old doesn’t know how to deal with this. Can you imagine being rejected all the time. Why? Because he looks different? Ugly duckling? He says he doesn’t want to plait his hair but he had to say to the headteacher he will do it because he doesn’t want any problems any more. How can a child go against all these people? And I trust them to care for my child! Awful.

So sorry. Could you take him to an Afro barbers and get him to pick out the coolest, slickest hairstyle there is? My mum did this for my brother when he was being teased about his hair. It was the best thing she ever did. I'm not saying you should encourage him to change. And I wouldn't make it obvious that you did it because the school have made a fuss. Just because he's growing up and 'deserves a super cool trim' 😎

Mumkris
He shouldn't have to have it braided or plaited.
If his hair is categorically not long enough to be tied up (accounting for the differences in texture) then that's that. Call them and show them.

I could understand them saying it needs to be put up if it looks the same length as other students who have to have it up. They may not have realised the difference in texture makes an issue.

I understand school's point if it's long enough to be tied up and a parent didn't see why their child should have to have their hair up.

I don't think they have much wiggle room if you say you're happy for long hair to be tied up, but right now it will not tie up.

Thank you PAlm5
This is exactly what I don’t want my child to feel when he is older. Yes, I know it stays with people forever. My friend’s mixed race daughter says that she is ugly and nobody likes her. I am not surprised. I cannot control what other people say or think. We need to teach children how stand up for themselves.

If it makes you feel any better, my brother is now incredibly empowered through his hair and so am I. It is our pride and joy as my father still tells us. Please keep telling your son that his hair is beautiful. People are often scared by what they don't understand, but if they'd only choose to LEARN they'd realise that they're starting something beautiful in the face.

Afro hair = beautiful.

@OldSchoolDa so his hair is too short to be tied back, so he should have it braided or cut because why? The school don't like the look of it? It's distracting? It's ridiculous! It's verging on oppressive behaviour. What's wrong with his short Afro hair?

I don't see how any rules have been broken here. Not by op anyway.

Thanks MaisyPops, I will call the school and say we will leave it as it is for now.
I am so grateful for everyone’ support. It means a lot to us!

Is it short or is it long, I'm confused?

I do not see my child’s hair being fashionable! It is what it is. Natural curly hair, not any particular hair style. Some people have straight hair, some curly, some have red hair, some have brown. We are all different and unique in our own way. Accept that.

But Afro hair isn't completely neat and tidy. I'm sure she's not let it turn in to a giant dreadlock. It's just how it is supposed to be in its natural form.

I would love people on here to post a few pics of their expectations of Afro hair styles so we can see what people are actually referring to.

OP says it's not long enough to tie back

Is it short or is it long, I'm confused?
My guess (but OP may correct me) is that it is visually the same length as other students who have to have their hair tied back (flopping on face, flicking etc), but due to the texture of his afro it behaves more like shorter hair and doesnt tie back.

So if it grows, OP would tie it up, but right now it doesn't go up so she wants school to acknowledge that.

OldSchoolDa
How do you imagine Afro hair being neat and tidy? Being straightened? Adults do that, but not children.

Afro hair does this. Ok yea, it's long. The only way to tie it back is to have it braided which is very expensive and time consuming or straightened chemically which nobody should be forced to do if they don't want to. Especially a child.

And the image of having to straighten Afro hair to have it neat and tidy is racist. If it’s not long enough to tie back then it’s not too long.

I’d be furious and normally I’m very much one who backs schools and teachers up.

That is nonsense your son should wear his hair how he likes it- I agree that if they say long hair needs to be tied up or whatever and it’s long fine but if it’s not long then they should sod off.

WTAF. I'm with you and your son. Fuck em!!! Turn up for school with his hair the way he wants it, and let them do their damnedest. See you in court would be my battle cry.
I cannot stand the way kids have to be programmed and conditioned to fit into boxes that suit the establishment. This is totally out of order.
I'm ready to protest outside the school gates with placard whenever you're ready OP.

Then just cut it short? When you enroll in a school you agree to abide by the rules. I'd be pretty peeved off if I saw a parent doing their own thing. Fortunately our school doesn't have that problem.

Meh

Every boy in DSs school has to have his hair tied back if it’s longer than ear length. Black or white.

No big JOJO bows or hair ties which are distracting. The black girl in DDs class had her hair braided with coloured thread through them and different coloured beads etc, school made her mum take them out and replace with school colour beads and no thread. I can tell you now a big Afro would not be tolerated. On the same hand one of the boys with curly hair isn’t allowed that loose either once it gets to a certain point.

Their school has a real hard on for hair.

@OldSchoolDa your argument isn't standing up very well. Would you actually be peeved off of you saw a black kid at your child's school who had natural hair in a perfectly normal state for natural hair to be in? You think that is 'doing their own thing'? Or do you maybe think that's just part of being black. Or should all black kids cut their hair off because essentially all of them are going to be in that in between stage at some point where it is too short to tie back but not stunningly neat with every hair in place.

@GawdNurseryFees out of curiosity how do you tie ear length hair back?

I’m also curious as to what people’s definition of meat and tidy is. I don’t have Afro hair but I do have very curly hair and it grows out my head like that and in all different directions. If I tie it back there are still wispy curls popping out and short of shaving it off there isn’t much I can do about that. Thankfully even the super strict private school I went to realised this and never penalised any of us who left our hair as it naturally grew out our heads.

Afro hair is even harder to style than mine and plaiting it is expensive and time consuming. The school should not be penalising a child for how his hair appears out of his head. If the Afro was cartoon style and he struggled to get through doors I could understand but I very much doubt that is what we are talking about here.