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Original poster

Would you stay friends with a Mum whose partner is on SOR?

42 replies

NetNoo · 26/04/2018 14:28

On sex offenders register for child rape.
Done jail time. She lives with him, has young DC with him.

YES or NO answers please.

OP posts:
mimibunz · 26/04/2018 14:29

No.

heateallthebuns · 26/04/2018 14:29

No

Phosphorus · 26/04/2018 14:30

You don't get to dictate how people answer.

It would depend. There is no black and white.

Smeddum · 26/04/2018 14:31

No

MimpiDreams · 26/04/2018 14:31

No

RoseyOldCrow · 26/04/2018 14:33

Surely living with young children is against the terms of his release?

I would be her friend & would prove it by contacting the Police in order to protect the children.

Isadora2007 · 26/04/2018 14:34

Could child rape be consensual sex with a 15 year old when he was 17?

Bowlofbabelfish · 26/04/2018 14:35

No.

Because: it shows lack of judgement and poor safeguarding on her behalf.

MrsPMT · 26/04/2018 14:35

No way

Velvetbee · 26/04/2018 14:35

I wouldn’t ditch her but would avoid him.

Redglitter · 26/04/2018 14:35

*You don't get to dictate how people answer.

It would depend. There is no black and white*

Totally agree.

MrsPMT · 26/04/2018 14:36

Good point though Isadora that would change how I saw it.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 26/04/2018 14:36

I could couldn't trust someone with such lack of boundaries /morals.
Her poor dc if it gets out.

Smeddum · 26/04/2018 14:37

@Isadora2007 you make a very fair point.

pigmcpigface · 26/04/2018 14:38

It would depend on the circumstances of the offence, and the circumstances of the marriage. I think women in such a position often need support to leave, for example.

Bowlofbabelfish · 26/04/2018 14:38

Would that offence result in jail time isadora?

duckingfisaster · 26/04/2018 14:39

No. It doesn't 'depend' either, it is a flat no.

RatRolyPoly · 26/04/2018 14:41

I'd stay friends with her, but most of all I'd make sure I was the kind of family friend the children could come to if ever they needed to.

Fatted · 26/04/2018 14:42

If he was deemed to be a risk to children, then social services surely would have intervened when he had his own children with her?

If you were concerned, you can make a request to the police for information to be disclosed to you. They're not under obligation to disclose anything to you, unless they believe you or your family may be at risk. We made a similar request following information we received regarding one of our neighbours.

Bluntness100 · 26/04/2018 14:42

Based on the facts presented, no, I would not be involved with either one of them. There may be mitigating circumstances, but based on what's presented, no I would not be friends with them and I would not associate with them.

Child rape is not something I can ever accept.

DiamondsBestFriend · 26/04/2018 14:45

No. And I don’t accept that there are circumstances where it would be hard to leave, the time while he’s in jail would be the perfect time to leave.

IrmaFayLear · 26/04/2018 14:45

Presumably the friend has had dc with this man after he did the jail time? If so... well, I just don't understand such a person. As Isadora points out, if it's a 15-year-old girl and a teenage boy, then that is different, but I agree with Bowlofbabelfish that that is unlikely to have attracted a jail sentence.

One thing - no play dates!

Redglitter · 26/04/2018 14:47

My friends brother is on the SOR. When he was 20 he met a female in a nightclub. They spent the evening together. She went back to his. They had sex. It transpired she was 15. He was arrested & jailed for several months. His life is ruined. He lost his job and can't get another one. He had consensual sex with someone he met in an environment which should only have had over 18 or over 21s in it. He's on the SOR but he's absolutely no danger to anyone.

It's not always black and white.

In the OPs situation I'd want to know more before making a decision

3stonedown · 26/04/2018 14:48

I went to school with someone who went to jail for similar circumstances as Isadora says (I think she was 14 though) , so it is possible, but to me it wouldn't make a difference, I don't want to be around someone who thinks that's ok.

Bowlofbabelfish · 26/04/2018 14:54

If you google the court records you should be able to see what the offence was?

I would do that rather than rely on the offenders own telling of it tbh.

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