"Autism is a difference not a disability"

[MJCadman]

Do you agree!

I personally don't. I hate it.

I think it minimises how hard life is.

Also dislike "Autism is my Superpower, what's yours"?

I don't want to normalise autism. I want people to understand it and make allowances.

I know this isn't what everyone else wants. This is the Neurodiverse MN board. I'm not talking about having kids with it. My daughter has it and of course I want her to be seen like the rest of her friends. I just mean for me personally I do want people to know I think differently. I can't have it both ways. One way for me and one for my child.

The sudden crash after a day spent masking would be an example of how autism is disabling.

Yes, the toll it takes is being negatively affected by ASD. It comes back to not all disabilities are visible.

That is disabling you.

I have close friends, family members and loved ones who would argue that “THAT’S how all of us feel!” I think their “ideal” autism spectrum person is around 5yrs old, needing time out in a quiet room with a fidget spinner. I evolved from the often misunderstood child into a highly functioning autistic adult with friends, job, partner and kids. Yet so much bewilders and is deeply distressing to me. And now, in my sixties it floors me to the point where disengagement is necessary

If "fancy a pint after work?" doesn't fill a person with terror at the thought of trying to converse with more than one person in a high-noise, high-distraction environment, then they probably aren't autistic. There's "I'd rather not" and then there's the inner "oh hell no" and it's the latter that I am thinking about.

Exactly.
I walk my dog and have actually changed routes rather than get too friendly with fellow dog walkers. I’m ok at brief conversation but when it got to “we should meet up for coffee” I knew it was all over! Likewise, I joined a local choir. Loved the singing; we’d do charity stuff/carolling etc but when asked to go for a drink afterward I was always making excuses. Eventually, I went. I was there all of 20 minutes and left so quickly, I left my coat. I went back for it… gone. I love my Pilates classes but when they go off for coffee and cake I smile and wave and get back home, fast as I can.
At work, I was very good at my job. Efficient. Did what I said I’d do etc. even though I was in a senior role, I’d be last there to anything social and first to leave.

It’s not that I dislike people. I just can’t “do” it, the small talk, the nuance, gossip (boring) the hypotheticals, none of it makes sense to me.

See I’d be the I’d rather not person. I don’t drink, I don’t work, I would have no idea what’s going on in that environment nor have I ever been in that environment but I’d give it a go I think. Not with work friends but if I had more than one friend 🤣 I’d give it a go. It would kill me off for 48-72 hours. I don’t think I’d do it more than once though.

now I’m in a can’t go into a supermarket phase. I haven’t been in a supermarket for 2 months, that fills me with terror.

I've been following a couple of threads about the welfare reforms. Mh, autism and adhd are at the forefront so to speak. What I feel is highlighted is that this conversation (autism being a difference not a disability) is front and centre. My ds is severe (no ld dx but severe autism dx) he'll never work, live alone or independently or do anything without support. There are others like him to varying extent that need help/support. Surely now the time and need has come to separate the dx? Those who can thrive with the gifts that autism has given them can be separate from those who are hindered. I really don't understand why people who benefit from or aren't disabled want to be in the same boat as those who are more so in the future they may stop the support of those who have a disability rather than a difference.

I think it depends on the environment as to whether or not someone who is considered gifted by their autism thrives or not. I can’t remember the percentage but there’s a low percentage of those with autism in employment. I’m not sure there’s much thriving at all. There are extremes of how autism affects individuals.
I’ve not read all the thread.

@Perzivaldisability looks different within the sane diagnosis but it’s still a disability. I doubt anyone wants to be disabled. How would you “separate the ex”?

I think the thread illustrates the way this government will try to turn asd into “difference not disability”. It’ll whack a huge chunk of money of the welfare bill for them. So much for Labour going after Non Doms, Covid contract millionaires and all the rest of their manifesto pledges.

A man I work with has a daughter who has an 18 month driving ban. Her case is awaiting report for the court. Having written off her own vehicle whilst drink driving she is currently using her neighbour’s Motability car because the neighbour “rarely uses it”. A young woman who was imprisoned in her early twenties for serious physical assault now terrorises people in the village with threats of violence and has PIP with higher rate mobility award due to her mental health issues and violent outbursts. She cannot work for this reason but runs a nice little delivery business via her Motability car. No one will report her. We are all too afraid of the repercussions.

The system does need looking at.

@LegoTherapy I agree with the implementation of 'profound autism' to distinguish those with the most severe presentation. I'd go back to the previous dsm or use some sort of wording such as autism with severe mental health needs for those who are 'high functioning' but struggle with the impact of autism to distinguish against those with severe autism.

Looking at your user name, are you a speech therapist?

@Jessica3075 I completely agree. The welfare budget does need looking at. The proposed changes are going to remove about £400 per month from young people who can't work because of their severity and can't stay in education because they're not making progress. This in turn will reduce what LA's get as for thos group they take the majority of their benefit to pay for social care and leave them with a set amount. Tje set amount won't change but the LA's will get less. I'm guessing that'll result in less social care.

Not everyone with “high functioning” autism has “severe mental health needs”. Why do you equate the two?

I think there’s need for clarification. My asd (originally Aspergers) is very different to that of my son. He will never live independently. He works 8hrs a week. I had a decent career in healthcare for 40yrs.

But, the older I get the harder I find functioning. Especially, post menopause.

I find those who are 'high functioning' and want to define their autism as severe usually struggle with mental health needs. This is just an example
of a way it could be worded. My priority is to distinguish those with the most severe form of autism so that they get their needs met and don't get caught up in the autism is a difference/ superpower/ not a disability/ good doctor/ Sheldon world instead of being seen ad the severe disability it is.

My asd has ultimately been the most debilitating part of my entire life. I have lost so much in my need to “fit”. The effect on my self esteem and mental health has been immense. Nothing about ordinary life is easy and my trying to cover up my difficulties is a huge problem, each and every day.

That was a very unfortunate place for that first line to end!

Misunderstood for a second there!

I’m not feeling any superpower either. I feel overwhelmed by the world on a daily basis and have struggled to do everything my entire life. People mention Sheldon like he’s the prime example of autism being a gift without taking into account that every single relationship in his life has been affected by his autism and how he struggles with sensory issues, food and social cues. Perhaps because it’s presented as a comedy but for those of us living that life (without the genius physics abilities) it’s really debilitating.

I needed to go to an appointment today in a place I know, hate and always have to work myself up to. I did a 46mile round trip, parked up twenty yards from where I was supposed to be and … couldn’t get out of the car. Thirty minutes later, having rehearsed what excuse I was going to give, I phoned reception. I was sweating like a dog, felt totally overwhelmed and insisted that in future I needed to attend via zoom. It went down like a lead balloon.

I don’t feel special or gifted. I just feel inadequate, unsafe and sick. I’m home now and frankly, could sleep for 24 hours I’m that exhausted.