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Original poster

Support networks for autistic women?

55 replies

Stimming · 18/05/2022 12:26

I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD a year ago.

It has helped explain a lot of my life experiences. For example, I tend to get bullied everywhere I go.

I'm hoping to network/ get support from other autistic women to help me progrss in life. Are there any UK networks that provide this? I tried Reddit, but their groups for autistic women were full of men. Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Stimming · 11/08/2022 20:50

I agree with these points. Perhaps we need support groups for professional women with autism, or something?

OP posts:
ofwarren · 11/08/2022 23:31

Stimming · 11/08/2022 20:50

I agree with these points. Perhaps we need support groups for professional women with autism, or something?

That would leave out people like me.
My diagnosed would have been aspergers back in the day, no intellectual disability but I just cannot work.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 13/08/2022 10:17

I think we need something additional to what’s currently available, for sure. The ND contributors on MN are adults who have lives, jobs and families and function very differently from many autistic people. As my asd son often says when we come away from another group, “But, I’m not like that. I don’t fit. Where DO I “fit?”

ofwarren · 13/08/2022 14:21

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 13/08/2022 10:17

I think we need something additional to what’s currently available, for sure. The ND contributors on MN are adults who have lives, jobs and families and function very differently from many autistic people. As my asd son often says when we come away from another group, “But, I’m not like that. I don’t fit. Where DO I “fit?”

This is where the 'aspergers' distinction was helpful.
I realise that people aren't keen on that label now though.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 14/08/2022 10:04

Aspergers as an official diagnosis was discontinued in 2013. I was diagnosed in 2017 via the NHS and my actual written diagnosis is ASPERGERS. It’s on my notes, with my GP.

I use this term because a) that’s how I was diagnosed and b) I don’t like the term “disorder”. I am NOT a disorder. To me, it’s very offensive and contours different deficits in people’s minds. Albeit, people who actually understand little or nothing about ASD.

Sometimes, I’ll say ASD, if anyone asks but I actually HAVE Aspergers. I never use the words “syndrome” or “disorder” or “disability”.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 14/08/2022 10:05

Conjures NOT “contours”.

mattressspring · 14/08/2022 10:14

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 14/08/2022 10:04

Aspergers as an official diagnosis was discontinued in 2013. I was diagnosed in 2017 via the NHS and my actual written diagnosis is ASPERGERS. It’s on my notes, with my GP.

I use this term because a) that’s how I was diagnosed and b) I don’t like the term “disorder”. I am NOT a disorder. To me, it’s very offensive and contours different deficits in people’s minds. Albeit, people who actually understand little or nothing about ASD.

Sometimes, I’ll say ASD, if anyone asks but I actually HAVE Aspergers. I never use the words “syndrome” or “disorder” or “disability”.

It was removed from the DSM. Your assessment was probably conducted using the ICD which only dropped Asperger's at the beginning of this year.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 14/08/2022 10:20

@mattressspring … thank you. I didn’t realise that.

Catsarelovely · 14/08/2022 18:22

I'd be tempted to join a non-online group for late diagnosed autistic people if there was one. I feel that lots of issues that I've had in my various jobs would have been helped by having an asd diagnosis and being able to tell colleagues. I imagine that I might have that in common at least with other people who'd also been assessed later on in life. Also, has anyone else found that they're finding masking harder as they age? I don't have as much energy to do it now and get exhausted if I'm in a social situation where I have to mask for long.

ofwarren · 14/08/2022 19:08

Catsarelovely · 14/08/2022 18:22

I'd be tempted to join a non-online group for late diagnosed autistic people if there was one. I feel that lots of issues that I've had in my various jobs would have been helped by having an asd diagnosis and being able to tell colleagues. I imagine that I might have that in common at least with other people who'd also been assessed later on in life. Also, has anyone else found that they're finding masking harder as they age? I don't have as much energy to do it now and get exhausted if I'm in a social situation where I have to mask for long.

I definitely find it harder masking now.
To be honest, I've mainly given up doing it. That does mean that I don't really attend any social situations though.

Calmisthemantra · 14/08/2022 21:25

This is something I'd like to be a part of. I was diagnosed as autistic this year at 40yrs old! I have 3 children and work full time as a senco. Finding out I'm autistic has been a total revelation for me and I'm craving to discuss it with other autistic adults.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 15/08/2022 22:52

I have this feeling that, if I were to meet someone else, like me, I’d have a bond with a person who “gets it”. DH tries but can’t understand and my NT friends (all 3 of them!) just see me as “quirky”.

DH says he knew I was a misanthrope when he met me but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. NTs have a code I just cannot crack well enough (despite the acting/masking) to join in. Well, not for any sustainable amount of time.

Catsarelovely · 16/08/2022 07:36

I feel the same, meeting others who understand the strain of masking would be amazing! I feel like I'm putting on a performance all the time. Hopefully if I found other autistic people with similar experiences we'd get on well just as ourselves.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 16/08/2022 09:17

Seeing how we’re might not (initially) be able to muster the numbers for a regional virtual “meet”, we might be able to do a chat (bit of a misnomer for us… chat 😂😂😂) via Zoom?

@ofwarren ? @Catsarelovely ? @mattressspring ?

Anyone else?

ofwarren · 16/08/2022 09:28

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 16/08/2022 09:17

Seeing how we’re might not (initially) be able to muster the numbers for a regional virtual “meet”, we might be able to do a chat (bit of a misnomer for us… chat 😂😂😂) via Zoom?

@ofwarren ? @Catsarelovely ? @mattressspring ?

Anyone else?

No zoom for me. I hate it with a passion.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 16/08/2022 13:38

Ok 😊No problem @ofwarren

Catsarelovely · 16/08/2022 16:23

Sorry but I'm really not keen on zoom either, it's marginally less painful if I know the person a bit though. Happy to chat by DM's instead although that won't work with a group unfortunately.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 16/08/2022 19:15

Ok, that’s good. Am happy to DM 😊

CoffeeWithCheese · 18/08/2022 16:59

I found a lot of contacts when I was diagnosed after my uni course lecturer put me in contact with a couple of graduates who had been diagnosed and were working successfully in the field. I also put a shout out via my professional organisation on Twitter and made a lot of contacts that way... some are, well angry shouty and obsessed with trans rights.

AllJustATrialOfErrors · 03/09/2022 06:33

@CoffeeWithCheese Apologies, only just seen your reply.

So pleased you had help to make those connections at Uni. It definitely gets harder, the older you are. I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone “like” me.

Gruffling · 12/09/2022 01:42

{waves} hi, I would also like some kind of support network for autistic women - I'm particularly interested in meeting other mothers or professional women.

Like others have mentioned, I miss the use of Asperger's as a diagnosis and feel very frustrated with the push to give up labels such as high functioning.

Gruffling · 12/09/2022 01:44

Out of interest, anyone had any luck with NAS groups?

Tiddlywinkly · 13/09/2022 05:59

Hi, yes I would love a network. I have a professional role, married, 2 kids, but I don't know anyone with ASC (that I know of). I sound like I have it 'together', but other than reaching a decent standard in a sport at amateur level and the odd lunch with colleagues or superficial chat with other people doing my sport, that's all I can handle and I'm barely coping with it all. I'm so lonely.

Mrstiggywinkle44 · 13/09/2022 12:39

Hi all I'd love to join in. I was diagnosed last year, age 44. I do have a FB group for diagnosed adults and parents of children. I'm in Yorkshire. It's a small group but doing well, mainly parents posting as I love to help parents too as my son is also autistic I have a lot of knowledge etc. I understand some of the comments about groups above. I'd love to meet new people who can relate to me and share the same special interests. Feel free to pm me xxx

DinosaurCity · 13/09/2022 20:52

I don't know if this is any use to anyone. I came across this therapist on Twitter who is going to start a group soon. I follow her due to my work with girls in colleges who are often undiagnosed.

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/events/therapy-group-for-autistic-adults-online