Autistic and pregnant

[Rochumbrella]

Hi guys.

I'm really desperate for some advice. I'm undiagnosed but know I am definitely autistic.

Myself and my partner have been together for 4 years (same sex relationship). We decided that we should take the plunge and start a family. We went through the process found a sperm donor and was successful first time.

From week 4 I have been suffering with Hyperemesis vomiting 10+ times a day and unable to keep anything down. I've been in hospital multiple times for IV fluids and anti emetic.

It has seriously traumatised me. I feel no connection with this baby at all. It just makes me feel ill. And I have never felt so out of control of my body I cannot cope with it. I never thought getting pregnant would make me this ill of I did I would have never embarked on this journey.

It is seriously affecting my mental health. I so badly want an abortion. I just know that I'm not able to do this. I've told my NT partner how I am feeling and I'm every bad person under the sun. And I signed up for this so I must continue with it.

I'm at a loss
It's making me so suicidal.

Im sorry you’re having such a tough a time.

The thought of have having another person living inside of me made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and in all honesty freaked me out. I hated being pregnant and at the beginning I considered an abortion too. Although I didn’t connect with her during the pregnancy phase, as soon as my little girl was born I loved her instantly and have done ever since.

I've had 3 children and never connected with any of them till they were born so try not to worry about that part of it.
You really need to speak to your midwife about how you are feeling. It's totally normal to feel the way you are because you are so ill with the symptoms.
It is also a valid reason to not continue the pregnancy if you really don't want to. 9 months is a long time to be feeling dreadful.

Please talk to the midwife how you are feeling. You arent the only one and they will be able to support you whatever your decision. But please ring them x

I had tablets from the doctor to stop the sickness ,gave me my lifeback .
You dont need to suffer with this ,tablets didn’t harm my babies

OP I have two very good friend who are NT. Who both had terrible hypermesis like you and both wanted abortions. Neither did but both only had one because it was so horrific.

I agree with others I didn’t have a connection with my children till they were born and it definitely was a gradual thing. I didn’t have that “wow I love this thing so much”. I remember after a 3 day labour with my first the midwife asking if I wanted to hold the baby and thinking “no I want a cup of tea and toast”

As others have said urgent appointment with midwife and gp. I promise they will not judge you.

Thanks for the messages guys. I have been taking medication for the hyperemesis. I've tried them all. I'm currently on Ondansetron and Metclopramide.

I have spoken to a midwife and they just keep telling me that there isn't any help or support available to me until I get to 16 weeks. I just turned 9 weeks today 💔

told my NT partner how I am feeling and I'm every bad person under the sun. And I signed up for this so I must continue with it

Wait, is your partner telling you you're a bad person?

If you are feeling suicidal you need help before 16 weeks. Please tell your doctor or nhs direct that you are feeling suicial.

Or there will be a mental health crisis line in your area too x

Maybe give BPAS a ring and explain what you are going through. They won't push you either way but will go through your options and council you.
Your partner is being very cruel.

How has your weekend been @Rochumbrella?

“ And I signed up for this so I must continue with it.”

No, no you don’t.
But you DO need to talk to someone urgently, especially as you’re feeling suicidal.
Good luck to you.

Still thinking of you @Rochumbrella If you want to chat we are here :)

Thinking of you

Hi I'm the OP for some reason it won't allow me to access this thread from my account. I have booked a surgical termination under GA for the 4th of May. The wait Is killing me and fear &anxiety Is away at me from the inside out about the procedure.
Not in a good place mentally. Have been prescribed some Diazepam to try and help but they're not working so far. Can't wait for this to be over feel like I'm waking up in a nightmare every day. Every day feels like a month 💔 and everyday I wake up wishing I hadn't.

Oh Rochumbrella I’m so sorry that you’re suffering so much. Well done for seeking help and I really hope that you feel better soon - the relief when the sickness stops is incredible. I’m going to ask that my previous post is deleted because in the light of your update I don’t think my comments are helpful to you. Thoughts are with you.

We will be here everyday to give you the support you need!

You are amazing, and you should be so proud of yourself for continuing to be strong for so long. 12 days to go then you can start to feel like yourself again.

Can you make a plan for a few months after to look forward to? You could book to have a tattoo done or have your hair styled/dyed? Or you could book a few nights away somewhere, either by the sea or a city break perhaps?

I have a couple of things planned that were arranged before we found out.

I'm just so scared about the procedure. I have lost so much weight and am barely able to eat. What if they refuse to do it. So terrified about everything. Trying to convince myself that it won't be too bad.

Partner not sure whether we will get through this and is angry because I can't just put up with it like other women with HG.

@Rochumbrella Are you taking a multi-vitamin, either gummy or tablet?

As for your partner, I am sorry she is not more supportive. For her information, there are many women that abort due to HG.

"A survey of more than 5000 women with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), published today in Obstetric Medicine, details the harrowing illness. The survey found 4.9% of women terminated a wanted pregnancy because of suffering from HG, while 52.1% of women had considered termination." - Kings College London, 20th October 2021.

www.kcl.ac.uk/news/women-terminate-wanted-pregnancies-due-to-hyperemesis-gravidarum

I am sorry I did not reply sooner. I did see your post, then something else caught my attention and I forgot 😳

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm completely and utterly terrified of being sick. At the beginning of my pregnancy I was really sick and someone mentioned the pregnancy tablets I was taking. They instead said to take folic acid and vitamin d but not a full pregnancy tablet and the sickness stopped almost immediately.
I know this might not help in your situation as you sound like you've been really poorly. I'm sorry to hear you're in such a difficult situation.

I've ordered some multivitamins hope I can keep them down. Was looking for a hotel close to the clinic in Doncaster earlier and their CQC rating came up as inadequate. Hoping for a miracle

What date was the CQC report dated? If it was 6 months ago+ then they will be working hard to get out of that rating and the care should be much better.

Is there a reason why after the procedure you cannot get a taxi back home?

The clinic is over an hour away from me. The closest one only offered the treatment under local anaesthetic and I couldn't face that so opted for somewhere further away so I could have GA.