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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Can you drive? Do you enjoy driving?

47 replies

ofwarren · 20/02/2022 17:01

I have never been able to!
I've taken lessons but I just don't get it Confused

I have no spacial awareness and there is just too much to think about all at the same time.

OP posts:
BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 20/02/2022 17:08

Ive driven for around 25 years and I quite like it. The roads are a lot busier now though and people are more aggressive and want to be past all the time even though I'm quite a brisk driver.

I like the freedom it gives me.

Infinitemoon · 20/02/2022 17:09

Yes I can very well. It took me a long time to pass though. I passed on the 3rd attempt.

I generally pick things up slowly, but once I can do something, I become really good at whatever it is.

I drive anywhere now and have no fear.

ofwarren · 20/02/2022 17:11

I couldn't handle the lessons. Being sat in a car for 2 hours with someone I don't really know who's telling me what to do is awful.

OP posts:
ShiftingSands21 · 20/02/2022 17:36

I started learning on a standard car and literally couldn’t operate it. Switched to an automatic and passed after about 2 years on second test. Drove a few times after that but haven’t again. The energy I expend trying to focus and process what’s happening is just way too too much. I find it hard to explain what it is but I can’t integrate everything.

BoardLikeAMirror · 20/02/2022 18:01

No. I tried to learn for about 18 months when I was 17/18 but I was absolutely hopeless at it. My co-ordination is poor so I couldn't get the hang of changing gear with one hand and steering or whatever with the other. I also struggle with left/right, especially when I am trying to concentrate on something else. I spent most of the 18 months being told off my by driving instructor and trying not to burst into tears.

I am quite a nervous passenger; I drive my husband mad asking him to slow down and saying 'there's a red light' 'we're coming up to a 30' and so on.

sadpapercourtesan · 20/02/2022 18:05

I can't drive. I do feel quite ashamed of it sometimes, and am definitely guilty of pretending it's an environmental choice Blush when the truth is I am too anxious, too flakey, have NO depth perception or spatial awareness, my brain just doesn't work that way. I had a few lessons when I was 18. It wasn't pretty.

These threads are wonderful for neutralising some of the long-term shame.

tiredanddangerous · 20/02/2022 18:10

Yes. I passed my test when I was 17 and wouldn't be without my car. I do get very anxious driving to somewhere I've never been before so dh tends to do that.

BachAndByte · 20/02/2022 18:13

Yes, I really enjoy it - something about the motion really works for me. I’m an awful passenger though! And don’t like it if someone tries to talk to me in a car park.

kobacat1981 · 20/02/2022 18:23

I would love to be able to drive, but unfortunately I can't because I'm partially sighted due to an accident I had when I was just 19. If I could drive I'd love a bright yellow car

Lovemusic33 · 20/02/2022 18:25

I love driving but get terrible road rage 😬, I love long car journeys as a driver and as a passenger.

Crazykatie · 20/02/2022 18:34

I love driving, cars pickups minibuses and trailers, UK or the continent, but then women do drive buses and trucks routinely, quite good at navigating too.

BoardLikeAMirror · 20/02/2022 18:36

These responses are really interesting, it seems very much to be a love it or hate it response, with not much in between.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/02/2022 18:38

Yes. Yes

BlackeyedSusan · 20/02/2022 18:41

No, no @sadpapercourtesan it's definitely the environmental reasons...

Wink
BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 20/02/2022 18:41

@ofwarren Two hours? That's way too long, no wonder you struggled. Mine used to last an hour.

DaisyWaldron · 20/02/2022 19:34

Nope. I was too scared to learn, then had some lessons and hated them. I don't think I'd be safe in the road, anyway. I can get lost walking to work along the same route I've been taking for years.

duvetdayforeveryone · 20/02/2022 19:57

I can't drive. I have problems with proprioception.

EatSleepRantRepeat · 20/02/2022 20:06

Yes, I love driving and the independence I get from it. There are set rules and a set way of doing things, which makes me happy because I feel like I've finally found something I'm good at. I regularly drive 5-6 hour trips on my own to see relatives and I passed my test before sat navs, so I am used to just following my nose and seeing where I end up.

I have zero indications of comorbidities like ADHD though, just autism, so I'm able to completely concentrate for very long periods on boring motorway journeys

Clarice99 · 20/02/2022 20:13

I've been driving for about 35 years. I passed my test first time and had about 10 lessons in total.

The first lesson was taken up with me asking loads of questions about how the car works and why I needed to do things in certain order. The instructor probably thought I was mad! But I needed to know in order to understand how to get the car moving and why I needed to change gear etc.

I found all of the manoeuvres fairly easy - emergency stop, reversing around a corner, reversing into a parking space, hill start - I just struggled with left and right. On my test, the instructor told me to turn one way at the junction and I went the opposite way. I asked at the end why he didn't fail me on that. He replied that I did the manoeuvre correctly, indicated the way I went, and I didn't flap, I just carried on.

I enjoy the freedom driving gives me. If I didn't drive, I'd likely be virtually housebound as the thought of getting on a bus makes me feel physically sick!!!

Liveandkicking · 21/02/2022 00:30

No and not sure I ever will. Terrifies me and no spatial awareness

zen1 · 21/02/2022 00:39

Technically I can (passed my test twenty five odd years ago), but hated every minute of learning and felt sick with anxiety all the time. Also, couldn’t handle the unpredictability of other road-users. Hence, I stopped as soon as I passed and haven’t driven since. I have no regrets whatsoever and am happy to rely on public transport (fortunately live in an area with loads of regular buses and trains).

Pyewhacket · 21/02/2022 00:41

Learnt to drive a tractor at 14 and past my driving test at 17. Have full motorbike licence and PSV so pretty confident on or off road. And yes, love driving. Worked and driven in several countries too.

LilyRed · 21/02/2022 01:13

Loved driving but as I have no warning of seizures I had to hand my licence back to DVLA Sad I still have dreams where I am driving.

Thoosa · 21/02/2022 01:40

I bloody love driving. It’s my way of getting to “flow state”. Just as well because I developed physical disabilities too a few years ago. Always buy automatics, now, though.Two if my DC just got automatic licences in the first place. Much easier.

MaggieMooh · 21/02/2022 07:45

I can drive but I hate it. I passed the theory test immediately but it took me 15 years to pass the practical test. I’m uncoordinated and nervous, the behaviour of other drivers sometimes scares me, and I get beeped at for being in the wrong lane.

Having said that, being unable to drive for so many years severely restricted my job opportunities and my ability to socialise. With a car I’m able to go further afield to find people who will tolerate my autism. I go to some clubs now which I’d be afraid to go to if I had to get a late night bus home. I can cope with driving as long as I stick to familiar routes where I know the speed limits and know what’s coming next so I’m prepared. On unfamiliar routes I have to drive very slowly and I also have to “drive” the route on Google Maps before I go so it’s not totally unfamiliar.