Page 2 | Can you drive? Do you enjoy driving?

ofwarren · 2022-02-20T17:01:14+00:00

I have never been able to! I've taken lessons but I just don't get it [confused] I have no spacial awareness and there is just too much to think about all at the same time.

Mabelface · 21/02/2022 07:52

I've had lessons in the past and did okay, I just hate it. Not going to bother now as everything I need is local.

AffIt · 21/02/2022 08:25

Yes - passed my test on the second go when I was 18, so have been driving for about 25 years now.

I also have a Cat 1 licence (rigid-body), and have done some commercial driving, including chauffeuring. I can also drive tractors and operate some agricultural / plant vehicles.

I love driving and the freedom it gives me - one of my favourite things to do is to go for a drive by myself and listen to a podcast or audiobook.

AshGirl · 26/02/2022 08:00

I didn't learn to drive until my late 30s and it took me 3 attempts. The lessons were absolutely awful and I would regularly be in tears when I came home. My instructor was not a good communicator generally, and clearly thought I was too anxious and obsessed with detail and rules 🙄

I only started enjoying driving during lockdown when it was a chance to get out to the supermarket on my own!

I still get very anxious if going somewhere I don't know, especially in the dark. I find the flashing of headlights in the dark quite overwhelming and need to remind myself to calm down. I got lost in the dark the other night and had to call DH as I was so upset I pulled myself together and got where I needed to go but I was exhausted and wrung out afterwards!

NumericalBlock · 26/02/2022 08:13

I don't enjoy driving but I can drive and somehow do it relatively well! It took me a long time (and 5 attempts) to pass a test though, I kept making lots of minor errors in my tests, being too hesitant at junctions and things like that.

PaulaTrilloe · 26/02/2022 08:20

I have recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia could not tell difference between left and right poor reaction time and spatial awareness. Use buses train and taxis!

LadyCordeliaFitzgerald · 28/02/2022 15:50

I hyperfocused until it clicked. I just couldn’t give over until I had unlocked the puzzle. Then passed on first test.

I have to concentrate quite hard not to lose attention when I drive and I tend to give myself longer breaking distances to allow for slower reactions and because I’m dyspraxia and struggle to figure out distance properly. I wouldn’t drive for more than 2 hours because that’s my limit.

I’ve been in a couple of scary situations where I just reacted a lot faster than I could think but I can never fully trust in that. And I think I’m far more likely to have a boredom accident. I struggle to keep a constant speed. I just can’t feel speed very well so I have to keep checking and adjusting slightly.
I’m hopeless at directions but dh always takes my calls.

I wouldn’t say I enjoy driving but I enjoy the freedom of being able to drive. And I prefer to drive than to be driven.

Uruc · 28/02/2022 15:57

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thelittlestrhino · 28/02/2022 16:03

Yes I can and I love the freedom of driving. Didn't enjoy lessons AT ALL though, and took 3 attempts to pass. 20+ years of fairly high mileage and no accidents later so I don't think I can be that bad. I do need to have music/podcast/language dvd etc on when I drive, can't handle quiet. I also much prefer being on my own in the car.

mistymoon7 · 02/03/2022 11:51

I can drive but it took me ages, 2 and a half years with a VERY patient instructor and I passed on my 6th attempt. The sad thing is that even though I have a car now and a driving license, I'm too scared to drive the bloody thing! DH does all the driving. I wish I'd never put myself through it.

Percie · 02/03/2022 15:57

I've been driving for 25 years and love it. I like the security of having my own transport space and the ability to come and go as needed.

MayBeeMee · 02/03/2022 16:06

Yes, but only learned in my 30s and can’t drive on morways as I have very poor depth perception.
I hated lessons and only passed on the 4th attempt. Like a pp, I can get into a state of flow when doing a familiar short journey, but I get overwhelming anxiety before driving a new route, I need to plan and know in detail which lane to be in, which junctions I need to navigate and how etc.
When I am driving I like to listen to loud music, it helps. As a passenger I can’t stand loud music.

NorthSouthcatlady · 02/03/2022 17:36

I can drive but it was a long and slow road. Not even sure which time l passed my test? To be fair l have dyspraxia and so does my partner. Neither of us are that keen. So we take it in turns to drive which works for us

BobbinThreadbare123 · 02/03/2022 17:41

Yep, love driving and passed my test first go. I can also hyperfocus thanks to Aspie skills
I enjoy the puzzle and challenge of planning my moves on the road. Excellent memory too so I always recall number plates etc of who's cut me up or behaved oddly

EmmaH2022 · 02/03/2022 17:49

I might be an outlier here but maybe someone can offer advice.

I used to drive and I enjoyed it. That was till I was around 30. It was a particularly bad period where sensory overwhelm really kicked in. I had a strange night of driving, involving getting lost on roads I knew, then a small scrape, pulling up beside a lorry!

The lorry driver was very worried. I think he thought I was drunk initially, but as we talked, he said to me "are you sure you can drive home, you don't seem well".

I was mortified and sold the car that week. Everyone who knows me was baffled and said "but you are a good driver". I just said, well, clearly not. Plus on top of working long hours, I was always knackered - links to burnout discussed on another thread.

The following couple of years, I battled with sensory overload till it improved with ADs.

I recently tried to drive again - I'm 46. I had a refresher lesson. The instructor was quite happy. But the sensory overload was horrendous. I came home from the lesson he thought was great and took a tranquiliser!

It would make such a difference to my life if I could drive again but I have no idea how to train my brain to what it was when I drove.

Thoosa · 02/03/2022 20:50

Can you find an instructor who specialises in nervous drivers @EmmaH2022 ? Also hourly lessons instead of two hour ones if that’s an issue where you are. (I know at least one of the big driving schools only did two hour lessons.)

It does sound like you need almost a kind of graded exposure - such as is used for phobias- to regain your confidence and overcome the bad experience. I had a sudden attack of labyrinthitis/Menieres while driving on the motorway once and that took time to get over.

EmmaH2022 · 02/03/2022 23:37

Thoosa how did you cope with that? That sounds scary!

I'm not sure what to do...the instructor was fab. he was perfectly happy with my driving and was sitting there all relaxed. So I could fork out for more lessons with the same chap in order to build exposure. But I just felt so overwhelmed. There is so much you have to take in at a glance. Sometimes it feels like luck rather than judgement that you make the right call?

I can't start with a quiet road as I live in London. But the two hours I spent with him, we drove the route to mum's, which is the main one I need to use, and then up the M1 for a bit, then some winding country roads. I would have so enjoyed that 20 years ago!

I think you're right about gradual exposure but I guess part of my dilemma is the expense. It will be a waste if I don't get back on the road.

EmmaH2022 · 02/03/2022 23:38

I also passed my test first time. I don't know what went wrong but it definitely coincided with really struggling with things like busy stations, overlapping noises etc.

Thoosa · 02/03/2022 23:44

@EmmaH2022

Thoosa how did you cope with that? That sounds scary!

I'm not sure what to do...the instructor was fab. he was perfectly happy with my driving and was sitting there all relaxed. So I could fork out for more lessons with the same chap in order to build exposure. But I just felt so overwhelmed. There is so much you have to take in at a glance. Sometimes it feels like luck rather than judgement that you make the right call?

I can't start with a quiet road as I live in London. But the two hours I spent with him, we drove the route to mum's, which is the main one I need to use, and then up the M1 for a bit, then some winding country roads. I would have so enjoyed that 20 years ago!

I think you're right about gradual exposure but I guess part of my dilemma is the expense. It will be a waste if I don't get back on the road.

For a few months, I wouldn’t go further than the two local high streets (also London, but quite residential and very congested, so that was mainly crawling along). DH and I were both insured on both cars, so he came out with me on longer runs at the weekend after a while. Then I had a couple of motorway lessons, which were hairy but did the trick.

EmmaH2022 · 02/03/2022 23:58

Thoosa but how did you stay on the road during the attack?

I once had a vertigo attack while doing a yoga pose that involved looking up. I literally fell straight down on to the mat, which thankfully was on top of the rug!

Thoosa · 03/03/2022 00:18

I had to spend three quarters of an hour on the hard shoulder, while DH’s friend drove him from work to the rescue. I wasn’t safe to drive. I’m not keen on smart motorways now as a result, and will go out of my way to avoid them if possible.

EmmaH2022 · 03/03/2022 00:27

@Thoosa

I had to spend three quarters of an hour on the hard shoulder, while DH’s friend drove him from work to the rescue. I wasn’t safe to drive. I’m not keen on smart motorways now as a result, and will go out of my way to avoid them if possible.

Always been horrified by smart motorways. I can't really imagine motorway driving now. Even though it was fine in the lesson, it's not something I am keen to do.

Funny how most posters have divided into love driving or hate it.

Also, the ultra bright headlights didn't exist when I drove before.

AzPie · 03/03/2022 09:46

I don't mind driving, passed my test first time, I can't however park in a parking space if there are cars there. So for example going to the supermarket I will park right at the back where I know hardly anyone parks because I can have empty spaces either side (or at least on 1 side). One time when it was packed and every space had cars either side I literally said nope and just drove home and went the next day instead. When DH drives and pulls into a space with a car either side I start hyperventilating. I've built up a lot of anxiety over parking because of 1 incident years ago and I've just never gotten over it.

I also think my next car I will get an automatic, the bite on my current car is so narrow that it's very easy to stall. My husband who has been driving for 25 years and never stalls in his car (or any other car he's had) almost always stalls my car at least once when he's driving it. I'm used to it (mostly) and the only time I might stall is when on quite a steep hill. It's always a fine line between me stalling and giving it a bit too much and my wheels screeching like I'm at formula 1.

Also bright headlights drive me mad, I have anti glare glasses and they do nothing with these modern led lights that feel like full beam right in my eyes. I didn't mind driving at night years ago but now I don't particularly like it because of how bright everyone's lights seem to be now.