Eye contact problem- how do I deal with this?

[TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet]

I’ve never been good with making eye contact, it makes me intensely uncomfortable (as I’m sure it does for many of you too)

I try really hard at work to make eye contact and to not appear rude and to concentrate on my colleagues when they’re talking to me. However, sometimes I need to just look away as I can’t maintain it any longer. I usually end up glancing slightly to left or right of the persons face but still continue the discussion.

One of my colleagues has taken to deliberately stepping into my eye line whenever I do this to force eye contact again. I hate it. I don’t know what to say to her to explain I’m not being rude or ignoring her, I just can’t continue the conversation whilst looking her in the face.

I’m not officially diagnosed yet, I’m on a terminally long waitlist. I’ve mentioned to her in the past that I’m on the waitlist for assessment, but all she replied was “well we’re all on the spectrum somewhere.”

Does anyone have any tips please?

@IncompleteSenten

NTs are really really weird about eye contact. It's a massive deal to them. They can't help it so I try to be supportive

I love this. Yes! Let’s turn it back on them!

We're all on the spectrum somewhere
ARRGGGGHHHHH 🤬🤬🤬🤬

Unfortunately this is dps stance on me being autistic too. I countered with everytime he said how he felt (depressed, anxious, issues etc) .. that's how everyone feels though. Been a while but he got my point in the end I think,.or sick of me, one of the other, he doesn't say it now regardless 😅

I would ask if she is aware that the way she keeps pushing eye contact is coming across quite threatening and please could she stop it so you can concentrate on what she has to say. Might not go down well though.
On the 'we're all on the spectrum' comment, can you just say something like - good, then you'll understand how uncomfortable your insistence on inappropriate levels of eye contact is making me feel-

How do you all make so much effort with eye contact? If I try any of that I completely loose what's being said, just can't do both. Mind I suspect my eye contact is pretty awful. I once worked with someone for 4 years without realising they had two different coloured eyes, and then I only noticed because someone mentioned it. I suspect I get away with it by working somewhere with quite a high proportion of um eccentric people, and by only talking to people whilst doing something else, like walking, driving, making a cup of tea or both engaged in an activity of some sort.