Song titles/ lyrics you heard but completely misunderstood

[Jacksmama]

Sorry if this has been done before... if it has I will just confess to my moment of idiocy and go away to hang my head!

DH is a huge AC/DC fan. We were talking about their last concert that he went to, and I idly said, "I like that song about rock'n'roll not being for losers".

He said, "what?" with a huge grin. I said,

"you know the one, what's it called, "Rock'n'Roll Is Not For Losers", I like that one."

Cue DH just about pissing himself laughing, and later explaining it was called "Rock'n'roll Ain't Noise Pollution".

Yeah, nice one, JM

Oh God, I'm always doing this. Too many to remember, but I know there was an Alicia's Attic song that distinctly sounded like 'Don't you cry my precious wankers'. Turned out to be 'My Precious one,cos..'

'I feel Sue Lawley' instead of 'So Lonely' in the Police song.

In La Isla Bonita, Madonna sings 'I fell in love with San Pedro' but I heard it as 'I fell in love with some Dago'!

'Look out! I might sail on you!'
Its supposed to be:
'I've got my mind set on you'
I was young.

"Take your pants down and make it happen"

Should be "take your passion and make it happen" - Flashdance

"Call Jamaica" - "Calling to wake her up"

So glad I'm not the only one...

Jimi Hendrix...'scuse me while I kiss this guy' (the sky)

Madonna singing "Level crossing!" in the middle of Like a Prayer. Turned out to be "Let the choir sing". Makes much more sense.

I also thought she said "Drop a goolie island breeze" instead of "Tropical the island breeze" in La Isla Bonita. And "young girl with eyes like potatoes." Apparently her eyes were like the desert.

Crap enunciation, Madonna. Must try harder.

The Verve .......'Cos the trucks don't work (drugs)

I thought DD was singing
" Put your rubber Johnny on" in the car yesterday from a JLS song, but apparently, it was "put your hands up". I'm getting old

DH had to tell me what L.A.X meant. Probably took me two months to realise it was L.A ex. Duh

Also, Nora Jones song. " your toast just touched the water...." - her version has toes, not toast.

My friend's mum thought that the lyrics to Madonna's 'Erotic' were:

Bill Oddie
Bill Oddie
Put your hands all over my body.

She couldn't understand how Madonna Knew about Bill Oddie.

I still can't listen to the song without a little bit of wee coming out.

'We are Family', Sister sledge. 'Just let me say for the record' - 'Just let me staple the vicar'. (It really does sound like that)

In Whitney Houston's Saving All My Love For You, the lyrics go

'You said be patient, just wait a little longer,
but that's just an old fantasy'

I heard it as:

'You said be patient, just wait a little longer,
but that's just an open-top seat'

Took me years (till lyrics became readild available on the internet) to find out the truth. I am convinced this is actually the best reason of all for the invention of the internet.

Did you not but Smash Hits Eighties chick? they used to print song lyrics every week.

Bobbiewickham - I thought "level crossing" too!!!

My mum is hilarious with song lyrics

"I'm honey, honey, honey, honey" ("I'm horny")
"I want to stand with you on a mattress" ("mountain")
Think this is quite common but "Chicken tikka tell me what's wrong" the famous Abba song about chicken tikka. Or chiquitita!!!

BooHooMonkey - Yes I was a Smash Hits reader (though I more often bought its less well-known rival No. 1)! But they didn't print everything. The wonderful thing about the net is googling for lyrics because it's so comprehensive. Doesn't have the charm of SH and the like though, I admit.

I also thought 'I'm living in a powder keg and giving off sparks' in Total Eclipse of the Heart was 'I'm living in a powder keg and giving up sport'.

This is very very funny!

i thought that the eurythmics 'there must be an angel' was, 'thrown and overblown with fleas', when i think it is actually, with glee...

Speaking of Whitney houstson's Saving all my love for you, i can't help but hear 'bitter-sweet mammories'.

Ooh and the classic Celine Dionne 'The hotdogs go on'

there is one out right now. the actual words are
"i got my ipod stuck on replay"

i hear

"i got my eyeball stuck on replay"

i misshear lyrics constantly.

there was a rachel stevens song that went "dont negotiate for love" i heard "dont eat goat shit for love"

for weeks i wondered how it managed to get through onto the air

Every time you go away...You take a piece of meat with you

Bonnie Tyler (showing my age): It's a Heart Ache = it's a hard egg

and in Gimme Shelter: it's just a shot away, I thought it was "it's just so shadowy".

My Mum used to play a song by Judie Tzuke, which I, up until bloody adulthood I tell you, swear she was singing 'cutting your eyes out'. The song in fact was 'Catiera Island' (sp?). FFS..

Lucy in the Sky with diamonds- 'The Girl with Colitis (sp?) Goes by...

There is a world party lyric that says ' fighting is no good' Dp used to sing 'fried eggs are no good' until I pointed it out, now we both sing his version!

Dd 3.5 sings 'my mummy lies over the ocean... Bring back my mummy to me!' Ahhh.