Right, Rihanna's been round for some 
and to teach me how to do the baphomet properly, not like you amateurs are doing. 
It's v. complicated and requires the use of a vivid imagination on the part of the viewer.
She's given me some juicy inside info...apparently her next single will be called Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
I said I dont think Radio 1 will go for that
She said, she knows but its all part of the marketing strategy.
I also asked when she was going to stop doing this whole dodgy S&M business and looking like a tart.
She said, when the column inches drop and the tills are k-chinging less, then an image change will be on the cards, natch.
She hinted that her management company have someone really unsuitable lined up for her to have a baby with next year. I said, MN will really be on your case then. She said, brilliant.
And then went out and got in her brand new Bentley Continental. Sigh.