Neurodiversity thread - for all MNetters who are neurodiverse - ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia and more.

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Welcome one and all to the new thread. A safe haven for MNetters who identify as neurodiverse, diagnosis or not, and those waiting for assessment. Links available in recent threads. Newbies welcome. We just ask that you introduce yourself

I also tend to have the same thing for breakfast every day until I'm sick of it. I've been having poached egg on toast for breakfast most mornings for weeks now.

I quite often do the same with lunch.

Pickled onions are my worst nightmare. I can't stand onions (I think it's largely a texture thing) and really don't like vinegar!

Rural, it sounds like things are really tough right now. It's a shame you don't have more support. I know I have quite a lot of support compared to many (in my DH and family at least - I don't really have any RL friends) and I still struggle massively so I think you're doing well just to get up in the morning!! I'm glad you're planning towards a future without your partner. It sounds like you'd be better off without him.

Rural, I hope it goes well tomorrow

Polter, I don't have a list of diagnoses either, although I know now that my asthma is almost entirely stress related, and I had big flare ups during the worst years.
Anxiety has been there as long as I can remember, and probably depression, but I grew up believing MH issues are for the weak and life's losers, so I kept quiet, as I was obviously a weak loser!

It's good not to have an enormous list of diagnoses…

I dunno; years and years being treated for conditions you don't have isn't exactly desirable. But yes, it's very interesting.

Sorry Rat was it actually you that posted the list? I keep getting confused... apologies if it was!

Rural that sound shit, and you're doing the right thing for you, which is what matters. I'll be thinking of you and here's some more

On the food thing - I'm in recovery from anorexia (for almost a year now actually to varying degrees of success) and I'm constantly getting told off by my consultant for being 'too restricted'. I'm a vegan and I eat the same breakfast every day on a rotation of about a fortnight for each of 3 cereals, then lunch is ice lollies and fruit, maybe some rice cakes if I've been to the gym, and a huge pile of veggies with a small amount of vegan protein for dinner followed my more ice lollies. Apart from a solid 2 months when I ate only soya ice cream in May, that's how I've been eating for about 2 years now. Weirdly I actually crave these foods and most of my day is spent looking forward to them. It's pretty bizarre and everyone thinks I'm loopy.

When I feel ok about what I've eaten I can deal with the other things that could involve change - it's like it helps me avoid my version of a meltdown.

Actually on meltdowns, I thought I didn't have them but I realised I do, it's just I am able to redirect them when at work or in public by blasting angry music through headphones. At home I shout and swear (even in front of DS which isn't ideal) and stomp and flap over seemingly small things. I am extremely aggressive during these times and in the past I've thrown glass objects and self-harmed very badly.

I spoke to my therapist on the phone this morning (I might be repeating myself here, but my memory is shot) and she hasn't yet managed to get the referral sorted because my consultant was called away from their meeting. We did talk a lot about how my current issues with work might be easier to accept if I get a dx. I spend most of our sessions telling her how even though I've been in my job for 6 years now I've not progressed because the politics and game playing stuff is just not something I can grasp. Who knew you were meant to lie if a superior asked how you were doing?

My latest obsession is the whole Anonymous phenomenon, hacking and hacktivism and I watched 3 documentaries just today whilst working. Part of me wants to go back to education at some point and I had actually spoken to someone at the OU about a PhD proposal but I was too embarrassed to tell the guy I didn't actually know what a proposal should actually look like... he was very rambling on the phone and I just chickened out in the end!

A couple of us posted lists, I think? It doesn't really matter who posted them I think it's interesting to think about diagnoses - correct, incorrect, wanted, unwanted, helpful, unhelpful, etc. It seems be a common topic of interest in the online ASD community.

I've found it really helpful to have (what I consider to be) correct diagnoses - or at least, diagnoses which have led to useful solutions and treatment.

In terms of why some people end up with lists and lists of diagnoses while others don't, I think that firstly there's what's going on with me, which is that I have a mental health problem alongside the ASD, and when you put the two together, each of them affects the way the other presents, in a way that confuses doctors, so you end up with them trying to fit you to various labels, none of which are quite right. If you don't have a mental illness alongside, except the understandable (and often severe) depression and anxiety that result from living ND in an NT world, you don't get that confused mess of symptoms, or perhaps don't even come to the attention of the medical world.

The other thing I thing is how you cope, or fail to cope. For me, failing to cope was quite a noticeable thing, in terms of my behaviour . Other people struggle in ways that nobody notices and suffer quietly instead.

I just followed a random person on Twitter, and they've blocked me
I have no idea why, will never know why, and I'm really bothered by it!

Rat, I largely escaped the difficult stuff in my twenties as I was so in control of everything. 32 onwards has been increasingly difficult.

Oh no, I'm 31....

I'm 30… shit better not get worse 😂

It only got worse for me because life shitty stuff happened and kept on happening.

I'm stupidly stressed about it, and trying to work out why. I don't think I say anything particularly contentious. Considering leaving the weirdness that is Twitter, and sticking to the weirdness that is FB. Or just leaving it all and giving up on Internet type socialising. Ugh.

How long until the interview?

What I really wish is that when someone presents to their doctor with apparent MH problems that they first look for physical causes, then neurological and then MH conditions.

Yes. Yes yes yes.

These are, to take one of the items on my list, some criteria for anxious avoidant personality disorder:

Four of seven specific symptoms should be present, which are the following:

Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed

Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

Is unusually reluctant to take personal risk or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

For a person with ASD, especially undiagnosed ASD, a lot of these things are entirely understandable - I viewed myself as socially inept not because of some mental health problem, but because I am socially inept The category didn't fit me very well - I don't come across as your standard AvPD sufferer. But put 16yo, undxd autistic me in an adult mental health ward, and something about me is gonna look funny. If you approach the situation thinking "mental health", you're going to cast around for answers as to why this patient is fucked up, and you're not going to find anything that's a good fit. But you have to pick something, and it seems like they picked a different thing each time. Because they're not looking for underlying neurodevelopmental issues in mental patients. Which is ridiculous.

Thanks Polter!

Why don't you set aside a particular time to organise how you're going to look, make sure that you're happy that that decision is good enough, then tick the box saying "outfit/hair plans sorted"? Should be nice to feel you've sorted that aspect at least.

Cloud - Twitter is heaving with utter twonks.

Tuesday!
At least you don't have to wait for ages!

Do you have a long journey to get there?

Thanks rat, I'm slightly worried that I am one of the twonks without realising.

autisticrat that reminds me... one of my CBT therapists said I suffered from low self esteem because I thought of myself as useless and avoided social events etc because I thought I would mess up in some way.

When I went for CBT after being diagnosed, the therapist was amazed that I was ever considered to have low self esteem, she said I was very resilient I just had more shit to deal with than most!