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Original poster

Starting to panic a bit

71 replies

hiddenhome2 · 29/11/2015 21:04

I have my asd assessment on Friday. I'm paying privately with savings that I'll need to replace next year.

I'm so scared that I've got this all wrong and I don't have it Sad I feel as though I do, but what if I don't? What will I be then?

I've trawled through my social services record and it's littered with observations of how I didn't join in with other children and how I didn't form relationships with them. Anxiety, tantrums, disturbed, a phobia, withdrawal, but what if it was just down to my disrupted childhood? Surely it wouldn't have meant that I'd spend my entire life avoiding social situations and others. It wouldn't explain the sensory difficulties would it?

A horrible comment from a psychiatrist which described me as 'superficial and self-centred' I was only five. It seems like a harsh thing to write Hmm

What if I'm just a weird, antisocial misfit with a bad history? Confused

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Allofaflumble · 03/12/2015 13:08

PS.Hidden I get really hot too. Have done since childhood. I used to wake up sweating and have to strip off my night clothes. My mum made us wear a vest in bed too.

Now I find most peoples idea of being warm with the central heating absolutely unbearable.

I never want to go abroad anywhere hot either. Loathe the heat. I enjoy the cool and quiet of Autumn/Winter.

disorganisedmummy · 03/12/2015 13:25

Thanks for the tip Allofaflumble.I'm going to start making some notes soon.
I'm trying to be pragmatic about it in that it won't change me and I shouldn't be upset if it turns out that I'm not on the spectrum but I know I will be.

Original poster
hiddenhome2 · 03/12/2015 15:03

Has anybody come across the Neanderthal theory of autism? It's probably a tin pot thing, but it explains quite a bit of the reasons for the traits - the being too hot element for example. They've identified a couple of genes in Neanderthal dna that are linked to autism.

It might explain the 'feeling like a different species' thing Confused Grin

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Original poster
hiddenhome2 · 03/12/2015 15:05

I have notes on my iPhone. Will this look too amateur? Probably Confused I'll try to cobble something together this evening. I have photographed a few things from my SS files.

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Allofaflumble · 03/12/2015 15:11

I had my notes on a scrap of paper!

Original poster
hiddenhome2 · 03/12/2015 15:13

Lol

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onlyoneboot · 03/12/2015 15:52

I printed out notes, highlighted parts, and stapled together lots of scraps of paper and things I'd written on the back of things. I may have overdone it and it took me until the second appointment to get it all out of my bag Hmm

disorganisedmummy · 03/12/2015 16:13

I'm in the process of typing some notes just so it's looks neater as my writing is horrendous. I'm worried I might forget something crucial.

Original poster
hiddenhome2 · 03/12/2015 16:42

I bet you'll be waking up during the night with stuff you need to write down. Keep a pencil and paper by the bed. Stuff comes into your mind as you're dropping off.

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disorganisedmummy · 03/12/2015 18:26

Help,I'm having a complete freak out inside about tomorrow. I'm now convinced that nothing will come of it and it will all be a waste of time and money. Please speak some sense to me.

PolterGoose · 03/12/2015 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

disorganisedmummy · 03/12/2015 19:03

Thanks Polter,it helps so much to talk to you all about it.

Allofaflumble · 03/12/2015 20:34

Do not worry dis . Judith Gould will want to put you at ease. She's lovely.

Original poster
hiddenhome2 · 03/12/2015 20:47

At least you'll know one way or another.

Be brave.

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PhilPhilConnors · 04/12/2015 07:45

Good luck today Thanks

PolterGoose · 04/12/2015 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

disorganisedmummy · 04/12/2015 08:19

Thank you so much everyone. X

disorganisedmummy · 04/12/2015 12:19

Hi all. It's official- I'm an aspie!! Diagnosed with Aspergers in just over an hour. Feel so relieved. Hope hidden is getting on ok. Thanks everyone for your support.x

PolterGoose · 04/12/2015 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

disorganisedmummy · 04/12/2015 12:25

It was so quick,she told us after about 90mins!! I feel so relieved and so does dh. I know I'm not mad now!Grin

PhilPhilConnors · 04/12/2015 13:01

Congratulations (I think?) Thanks

disorganisedmummy · 04/12/2015 13:06

Lol,it's defo a congrats!!

Allofaflumble · 04/12/2015 13:21

Fantabulous!! Congrats Flowers

onlyoneboot · 04/12/2015 13:32

Glad it was swift and the outcome you wanted, congratsFlowers

Original poster
hiddenhome2 · 04/12/2015 14:12

Hi everyone!

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