Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnetters with disabilities

Please see our webguide of suggested organisations for parents to support children with learning difficulties.

October is ADHD Awareness Month

87 replies

BertieBotts · 13/10/2015 21:38

So I thought I'd make a little landing pad for any MNers who suspect themselves or are curious about ADHD. We also have a lovely Neurodiversity support thread, which tends to run much better long term (ADHDers tending to not be fantastic at remembering to post on such a thread Blush)

If you don't like reading long threads, there is a brilliant video here which (attempts to) explain in one minute what adult ADHD looks like, because it's so different from the stereotypes that we often have in mind about ADHD. vimeo.com/141104970. You can skip the rest of my OP Wink

For those who prefer reading I'll try to explain some of the main symptoms and/or signs and how it differs. As the guy in the video says, you don't need to have all of the signs to have ADHD, and nobody does.

There are thought to be three main areas where ADHD (ADD is an older name but they are the same thing) affects people: Impulsivity, Inattention and Hyperactivity.

Impulsivity (caused by ADHD) in adults often looks like this:

  • Difficulty managing money
  • Often interrupting or interjecting into conversations inappropriately
  • Emotional disregulation - being quicker to anger, upset, or excite than other people generally.
  • History of unsuitable relationships or trouble holding down a relationship
  • Jumping around in conversation leaving others confused
  • Lots of half finished projects or tasks - feeling like you're always starting things but never accomplish much.
  • History of many different jobs, education directions or hobbies.
  • A general dislike or disdain for the idea of routines and schedules
  • And of course the obvious - being generally impulsive, easily distracted and starting lots of activities at the last minute. (But this is not the only or a necessary sign)

Inattention caused by ADHD in adults looks like:

  • Time blindness - always being late for things and/or losing track of time.
  • Disorganisation, messiness, general sense of chaos despite attempts to organise.
  • Finding it difficult to stick to plans or goals and not really knowing why
  • Reporting less success than other people using organisational aids such as calendars, to-do lists, reminders and diaries.
  • Forgetfulness - sometimes forgetting entire conversations, forgetting an important task repeatedly or forgetting things which you do regularly.
  • Contrary to (but coexistent with) the impulsive point, a tendency to do nothing and/or procrastinate when you don't have a set timetable or schedule.
  • Chronic procrastination - to the point of missing or underperforming at things which are important to you
  • Difficulty focusing, especially if a task is repetitive or long, but with a tendency to focus for long times at the expense of all else sometimes.
  • Less care taken while driving leading to minor accidents or detours.
  • Difficulty keeping in touch with friends or in the inner circle of friendship groups, especially as you age and lose regular connections such as school, university or work.

Hyperactivity in ADHD adults is the one which looks LEAST like expectations. It's things like:

  • Talking a LOT and/or very fast
  • Chatterbox brain - having 100 thoughts whirling around at once all the time
  • Always needing to be "busy"
  • Fidgeting and fiddling - finger tapping, foot tapping, swinging legs in a chair, chewing things, smoking, fiddling with hair, picking spots/scabs
  • Difficulty falling asleep at night
  • Addictive behaviour or history of - abuse of drugs or alcohol, smoking, caffeine addiction/dependency, risky sexual behaviour, internet/video game addiction, shopping or gambling addiction, exercise addiction, etc etc.
  • Unexpected results from mild stimulants and depressants - usually swapped. Medicine with a side effect of drowsiness wakes you up and stimulants have little effect or make you feel productive and/or sleepy. (Sometimes causes the addictive behaviour as an attempt to self medicate)

And some general correlations:

  • Having dyslexia or another related disorder (ADHD is often comorbid with other disorders, and dyslexia is the most likely to have been diagnosed in the UK if you were at school in the 80s-00s)
  • Sensory seeking or avoidant behaviour - disliking textures of certain clothes or foods, finding loud noise or bright light difficult.
  • Teenage pregnancy (and by association, being born to a mother who experienced this even if you weren't that baby from that pregnancy.)
  • Having a close relative, including a child, who also displays signs or symptoms of ADHD.
  • Having tried countless self help books but none have been in the slightest bit effective.

As a child:

  • You might have been described as a "daydreamer" or were often being told off for chatting when you shouldn't have been.
  • You tended to produce work - especially homework and coursework - which was much lower than the standard expected or the level you worked at in class, and teachers often expressed a sense that you "weren't trying hard enough".

Adults (especially women, and some girls) do NOT tend to:

  • Get up and walk out of meetings when you are expected to be still
  • Have a history of violent behaviour
  • Run around acting without any inhibition at all
  • Do something to the extreme or not at all

These are ADHD behaviours but more often seen in boys and men.

Well, this ended up really long Blush Anyway, jump in! Don't be shy! :)

OP posts:
Minisoksmakehardwork · 30/10/2015 17:02

I got 100%. I've printed it and annotated it ready to see gp. I'm struggling hugely with half term this week as I had made some headway in a massively overdue clearing up the house project. It's a gone to pot, helped by 4 very irritating children! Which I love to bits but are pushing every single button completely wrongly. I'm having to walk out of the room to avoid raging at them, especially as the 3yo was telling me about his "stupid fucking trousers". Whoops!

BertieBotts · 30/10/2015 18:11

Okay so somebody recently informed me that the LANC centre is NOT the only place to get diagnosed on the NHS :)

There is some good advice here: www.simplywellbeing.com/add-and-adhd-diagnosis-uk

And a link to a list of NHS clinics which is maintained by Adult ADD UK.

I want to emphasise the four step process they advocate.

To get a UK NHS diagnosis, AADD recommends:

  1. Make a 10 minute appointment with your GP and simply say you want a referral to an adult ADHD specialist for an assessment.
  2. Take along the List of Symptoms, with the relevant ones circled. If you wish, write under each symptom, a description of how it has affected your life
  3. Take a copy of the NICE Guidelines
  4. Tell your GP that you will ring in one week's time to find out how the referral is going
  5. The AADD also maintains a List of Adult ADHD Specialists and Clinics. If your area is not on the list, ask your GP for an out-of-area referral.

(Links are intact in the original).

OP posts:
Minisoksmakehardwork · 30/10/2015 18:36

Thanks for that link Bertie. There is a clinic just about 10 miles up the road from me so that is useful to know. And completely separate town to the CDC we go to for ds1.

TaliZorah · 17/11/2015 11:22

Marking this thread Smile thanks Bertie for linking it!

BertieBotts · 17/11/2015 11:28

No worries. I also didn't want to get into a bunfight on other thread, but worth mentioning - dyspraxia appears to have had a bit of a surge in diagnoses in the last few years, and dyspraxia and ADHD can look very very similar. It's possible (but I don't know how likely with such little information about you) that you might have been misdiagnosed, similar to the dyslexia issue as mentioned in the OP here. In my school cohort, dyslexia was overdiagnosed to cover any issue with reading, spelling and writing. For example, my ex is diagnosed with dyslexia but after doing my own research (and I'd never say this to him because it isn't my place) I highly suspect he has an auditory processing disorder, not dyslexia at all. He doesn't fit patterns for dyslexia. I don't know enough about dyspraxia to say, but it's possible that a similar thing has happened. Schools in the UK are very reluctant to assess for ADHD unless there is a hyperactive component which is actually making it difficult for a child to either control violent or disruptive behaviour, or sit still and focus in class. A daydreamy child won't attract a suspicion of ADHD. This might be changing now, but I don't know.

And the other possibility of course is that it's both. Or that dyspraxia is causing the issues which are very similar to ADHD.

OP posts:
TaliZorah · 17/11/2015 11:54

I think it's likely both reading this. The disorganisation sticks out to me, when I was a teenager my mum would often find me sitting outside in the rain because I'd forgot my keys that day. I was constantly in trouble for doodling, not paying attention, reading under the desk, that sort of thing. I have school reports that say I have my "head stuck in the clouds".

I'm pretty disappointed it's never been picked up because reading about it makes it seem really obvious

BertieBotts · 17/11/2015 12:05

Yeah, it's a bit of a sucker punch to the gut. But it really isn't well known about in the UK. They've had awareness of it in the US since the 50s or 60s. Here it's only been recognised at all since 2000 and they tend to think of the hyperactive subtype rather than inattentive.

I'll see if I can find anything about dyspraxia and ADHD.

OP posts:
TaliZorah · 17/11/2015 12:40

Bertie I thought of hyperactive rather than the other type

lborgia · 17/11/2015 21:52

Bertie - sorry to interrupt, I'm trying to pm you and it's not working. Would you mind sending to me and I'll try and reply to that? Cheers. .

Sorry again for high jack

Supermam · 17/11/2015 23:23

Hi all. I posted on the "lateness" thread and found this. I realised a while ago whilst attending courses ( I work in education) that I had many symptoms of dyspraxia or ADHD. I've been in a sort of denial/ mourning. I have so many similarities to your histories - the high expectations/ poor grades etc. I can tick every symptom, just about. Your posts and knowledge of all this are so positive, Bertie - perhaps a formal diagnosis would be a good thing. However, since suspecting the ADHD it has held me back; for years I lived in a chaotic, blissful ignorance - now I'm afraid to aim higher, career-wise... afraid of deadlines and chaotic paperwork. I know many of the helping strategies, but really struggle with them! On a positive note, I'm really creative and believe I wouldn't be, without my jumping-bean brain! I think I'd like to meet some other people who have this, though. It's really tiring sometimes; it takes soooo much effort to do tasks that others take for granted! ( eg getting to work on time!!!)

lborgia · 18/11/2015 02:33

Supermam, I was really interested in your comments about being afraid to ask 1 higher. Having now been on Ritalin for 5 days i can already see the possibilities, but am scared of failing. . That mourning is very real and it's am incredibly Topsy turvey set of emotions, I agree.

TaliZorah · 18/11/2015 03:52

I'm really creative and believe I wouldn't be, without my jumping-bean brain!

I'm like this. I'm very arty and I'm always thinking of new ideas, new concepts, interesting stuff to do. It's like my head is full of 100s of ideas there's no space for mundane stuff like timekeeping, chores or day to day tasks

lborgia · 18/11/2015 05:13

Hi again, i read an interesting snippet in the book i have about creative types and medication. Some writers, poets etc feel that it really makes a difference, but as it's so short acting they simply stop taking it for the days/times they need to work.

BertieBotts · 18/11/2015 21:39

lborgia - got your PM :) :) On phone a lot, can't reply easily. Will defo get back to you before weekend.

OP posts:
lborgia · 19/11/2015 07:42

No rush Grin I'm busy being super efficient. I bought Christmas cards today and, do you know, they might actually get sent!

Senpai · 23/11/2015 04:32

Officially diagnosed. Place marking.

:)

Jemster · 23/11/2015 09:02

Hi please could someone give me the link to dealing with overwhelmig housework that was mentioned up thread?

neverputasockinatoaster · 23/11/2015 10:45

Hi!

I've just been on the lateness thread and saw the link to this thread.
DD has just been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD and I see so much of her in me!
I've scored 11 on that checklist thingy and could have scored more I suspect.

I am currently drowning in undone housework. I am completely overwhelmed by it. I am currently a SAHM and it now amazes me that I ever managed to hold down a job at all! I used to be a teacher FFS! Mind you I was crap at large parts of that! (not the teaching bit - I was a damn good teacher! It was the paperwork, dealines, statistics and mind numbing meetings that I was crap at. I was 'observed' out and made to teach in a corridor..)

I begin each day determined to do all my chores and then I get home from the school run and the day seems to disappear in crochet and organising a teeny tiny kitchen drawer. I spend ages trying to find the optimum system but then never follow the system.

I have long suspected I have a form of ASD. Maybe I have ADD as well. I am never Hyperactive though and never have been!

BertieBotts · 23/11/2015 11:52

The housework thread was 2Monkeys' thread - I'm sorry I can't remember the title Blush

Useful sites for housework for me have been Flylady babysteps and Unfuck your Habitat. Pick one rather than both, they have similar ideas.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 23/11/2015 11:54

Neverputasock - if you click onto this topic's header, you'll also find a thread for women with suspected ASD or ADHD :) I started this one as an ADHD specific one but you'd definitely be welcome on the other thread too.

OP posts:
Jemster · 23/11/2015 12:15

Thanks Bertie, was it in this topic or in Chat? Had a quick look but couldn't see it.

BertieBotts · 23/11/2015 13:50

It wasn't here. Maybe in Housekeeping or Mental Health.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 23/11/2015 14:12

Hello to new folks BTW :)

OP posts:
madwomanbackintheattic · 23/11/2015 15:02

Just popping in to say hello - ds was dx about four years ago at 10. Schools have always employed all manner of things to try to get him to complete work (including having the HT standing behind him to keep him on task for the y2 SATs) as he is a kid that will hear something once, log it, get it, and then disappear into his own head. Because he is so bright, they knew he knew it, he knew he knew it, so no one really cared that he didn't ever write anything down and lived in his own head. It's far more interesting in there than in a school classroom. Every single teacher he has had has asked me how I motivate him to do something. If I knew that, we wouldn't have a an issue.... He can spiel it all off plus extras if he is asked (in math he has always been years ahead as he just seems to grasp number concepts. This is an issue in itself - if you ask him to write down his working out, he looks at you as if you are crazy. I'm not even sure he knows how he gets the answers - it's almost a reflex). He is dx with add, with some asd traits (sensory and social) and is gifted. The psych who did the testing battery did a really good job, and he has tried a few different medications since. We settled on vyvanse as it slowed his internal thought processes down enough for him to vocalise them, and suddenly he could hold a conversation. Prior to this it was too busy inside his head for him to be able to engage in any meaningful way, the majority of the time.

Anyway, ds's dx seemed to make sense, and I realised how similar we are. (Lol) I have reasonable coping mechanisms, and achieve a lot by using them (often have major 'projects' on the go) but not in the areas I really want to make headway, which is a bit depressing. At the moment I am at the stage of assuming that I probably meet the diagnostic criteria, but haven't done anything about it. Grin

That said, I'll zip back later and look up some of the links (today, tomorrow, next week, who knows) as I am going to be late for work. Obviously.

MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge · 23/11/2015 15:30

Newbie sidling in. I got a diagnosis privately.

The feeling of lightness, relief, self-acceptance and understanding it evoked has not gone even now. My questionnaire scores were massive.

I decided not to beat myself up about not having been diagnosed earlier and just to try and congratulate myself for having got this far in life without help. I shall be trying medication soon and I hope it helps.

Swipe left for the next trending thread