Support thread for women with suspected/diagnosed/self-diagnosed ASD or ADHD

[EauRouge]

Previous thread here.

Hello all, I know I'm new but the old thread was full, so here's a shiny new one. This is a thread for adult women who have ASD or ADHD, or suspect they do, to support each other.

Here are some resources that might be useful:

Links

List of female AS traits by Tania Marshall.

Article about women and girls on the spectrum by NAS.

List of female traits by Everyday Aspergers

Musings of an Aspie- Cynthia Kim's blog (one of the few sources I have found about being a parent with Aspergers)

Autistic Women's Collective

Recognising ADHD in women from ADDitude Magazine

Resources for women with ADHD from ADDitude Magazine

Adult ADHD support (coming soon by the looks of things)

Books

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder by Kate Kelly (I haven't read this one but I have heard it recommended many times- apologies if it's no good!)

Online tests

(Online tests are not 100% certain but can give you a very good idea and a starting point for talking to your GP if you're seeking diagnosis)

RDOS Aspergers quiz (the best one IMO)

AQ test

ADHD test

ADHD questionnaire for women

Info dump complete

Please come and join in!

Another vote for written over verbal instructions! But I'm getting better at asking for things to be written down at the doctors etc, and my supervisor at work is great at writing things on post it notes for me.

How is everyone else's imagination?
I've never had a very good one, could never write stories, struggled with imaginative play with dc, but there are a couple of things which i know other people I know can't do - I wondered if anyone else does.
I get normal ear worms, but if I sit down in a very quiet place I can hear a whole piece of music, usually classical, a tune that I know well, and can hear every instrument.
If we are getting a new piece of furniture or go into an empty house and imagine our stuff in it, I can picture it so vividly that I can zone out and "see" it in place in the room.

Hi all I need a bit of advice. Ds has an nhs and dx. I have a private ocd dx (didn't wait for nhs as needed help sooner not that nhs didn't dx if that helps). I have been to the gp a lot recently with various issues and don't want to look like I live there. However I have always had crap social experiences which now with hindsight and better knowledge indicate asd. I score highly on all the online tests, I have sensory issues, my boss treats me (nicely) as though I have asd as does my mum. I am thinking I need to get a dx to make sense of my life I think my mental/ emotional well-being would improve. It would also protect me at work. Should I go to the gp? I don't want to look l like if any cope but life is very very hard at the moment - dd and ocd, ds, work, etc .

LeChien - (bearing in mind I am suspected ADHD, not ASD) I have a pretty good imagination for stories, pretend play games (Could do these for hours, my sister and I had several tracks of play which continued serially for years and years) and was always told I was "creative" as a child, but I'm not actually that artistic, despite being told I was, because I can't start from nothing at all. Give me a stimulus and I'll go off in several directions, but I really struggle with starting from nothing. Faced with a blank page, I'm useless.

I don't really doodle, and you know how people who are good at drawing often quickly scribble something down and it's amazing? I can't do that either. I'm good at life drawing, if I have time, focus and patience to do it in, but I'm not as good at drawing from my head. I can make something look recognisable, but it's never quite right, and my handwriting is messy, the style constantly changes. Sometimes it looks like a child's writing, other times like a doctor, (ie, messy!) other times fairly normal women's handwriting, but the slant and sizing and style changes. You couldn't do that personality-by-handwriting thing on me. I'd come out as schizophrenic

I get the same earworm thing as you, where I can hear the entire song including every instrument, and until fairly recently I always had a song in my head. To the point that I thought when people complained about it it was just when they had an annoying one, until I realised most people don't have a song most of the time. Now it's not always, but still a lot of the time, it doesn't have to be quiet, I can hear the entire thing still.

I have very poor imagination for making up stories, imaginative play etc. As a child copied stuff from tv, books or I had pretend pets but nothing really happened, I think it was more a comfort thing that I imagined they were accompaning me when I was scared or bored. I love setting up a scene with playmobil or building cities with twigs, stones etc but I don't want anyone to disturb it.

I studied art history and literature and was told I had good insight in terms of analysis, arguments etc. Art teacher at school said I should be taking art as my life drawing was good.

I think I know what you mean about 'seeing' things in a space LeChien, I'm a bit like that too.

Absolute crap at music, I do love it but cannot even pick out what instruments are being played. DS seems very musical though, one of his obsessions/stims is singing tunes Dadadaddadaaaah.

Noeuf Have you spoken to NAS? They told me they could talk you through how to seek a diagnosis as an adult. I'm not ready for that yet as still trying to get ds help but I have felt better since I have self diagnosed. If you feel it would help, do it but be prepared it may be hard work to convince them, see the right people etc.

Noeuf, I know what you are saying about going back to the GP, but it is actually what they are paid for. I think there are some charities that can help you with a diagnosis (I think there was one mentioned on the page before this one on this thread.). Sometimes symptoms of ASD can come out as OCD. Do you know what your stress triggers are?

Bertie- I am the same with drawing and handwriting! I am good at coping but can not draw without a model. Does any of you, "picture the words in your head" when people talk to you?

Thanks guys. I definitely have OCD so I'm not worried about a misdiagnosis. I sort of feel that now (41) is the right time to try to get a diagnosis. I don't really want anything much to change I just want to feel better about my past and to have some protection at work really.
I might ring the NAS.
It's weird but until ds was dc it felt fraudulent to treat him as if he was although we did, getting the dx just took so much stress away. I hope it might be the same for me.

Hello everyone, I've posted on here before but recently NCd. I was dx with AS a few weeks ago.

Molly - I picture words in my head all the time. It was only talking to DH prior to seeking a dx that I realised this might be unusual. If people use idiomatic expressions (e.g. "to open a can of worms") I understand that the phrase should not be interpreted literally, but I get a very vivid mental picture of the literal meaning and experience a physiological response.

Hello and welcome to Noeuf and Bowwow

I'm rubbish at making up stories too. Despite being a musician, I also can't write songs but I'm really good at arranging music, especially vocal harmonies. And I can 'listen' to a whole piece of music just in my head.

I'm crap at drawing, but somehow managed a C in GCSE art (my art teacher was the only one that liked me). I'm a very visual thinking though, and often think in pictures instead of words or emotions.

As for maths and technology, don't even go there. I can break anything with a microchip in it just by looking at it.

Oh yes, forgot to say, it is always worth talking to your GP. If he/she is rubbish and tries to fob you off then there are other routes you can take, but your GP is probably the best place to start.

I've looked into a private dx but it's 2000 ish and locally the route is clear so thought I'd try that.
I have a fantastic imagination - escape route developed on child/teen good as I had no friends or social life!

I can draw but only limited things. If a photo grabs me I can copy it, but I'm rubbish from memory.
My art teacher hated me though as my drawings/paintings were far too dull.

I have a terrible imagination, I don't have a creative bone in my body. I'm rubbish at drawing, I'm still at the level of stick figures and my handwriting is the same. it's something I'm ashamed of, I hate to handwrite anything, my hand hurts after a few lines. I don't know my right from my left, without thinking which hand I write with.

I like listening to music but Ive never been able to learn the words from a complete song and Im not particularly musical. Ds is though, he loves many genres and recognises songs from the first two bars.

The thing I love to do is read. Mainly fiction, thrillers, murder mysteries. I go through phases with non fiction if I'm interested in a subject I will read everything I can get hold of.

Thanks for the welcome EauRouge

Hello everyone, someone has just pointed me in the direction of this thread . Hope nobody minds if I join in.

Hi Toads :)

Anyone else find when they google things with "women and "aspergers" in the search terms, it comes up with all the top results with "Missing: women" - GRRRR!!!! Why would I include the term if I didn't want to use it, sexist google be damned!

Relating to al the art/creative stuff... needing something to start with then I can create, drawing well - painstakingly slowly - from photos but not being able to do quick sketches...

I also found, in school, that I really struggled with English Literature because I couldn't analyse a piece of text - at least, not in words. By that, I mean suppose there was a question like "How does the writer use suspense in this extract?" I could read the extract, pick up on the suspense, but not be able to explain/analyse it. However, if you asked me to use suspense/replicate the same writing techniques in writing a short scene (with seed of an idea supplied, eg. "Sarah gets home and finds a burgler in her house") then I could do it.

Mind you, I found the whole thing a bit pointless, after all texts aren't written to be pulled apart like that, just to be enjoyed or to make you think. Also I used books as escapism (less so now) so having to panistakingly study "Lord of The Flies" was just horrible - why would anyone write that, I wondered, why would you want to think about such things instead of trying to make the world a better place? (I understand a bit more now, having written much bleak poetry..!)

On the other hand, if the questions in English/Lit. were about the actual content of the story/play I found it much easier. The "Who's responsible for X happening?" or "What might this character be thinking?" type questions. It was just the analysing of how someone had written something, the techniques used, rather that what they'd written that I'd struggle with.

Can anyone relate?

I can't articulate why (which sort of proves my point!) but it seems to relate to the same thing that happens in certain conversations. For example, suppose a bit of a debate about politics was happening amongst friends (this has happened a lot recently), and I disagree with something someone's said. I can find it really hard to articulate why I disagree. As the other person is speaking, there will be certain words or sentences that start the alarm bells ringing for me, but it takes ages to articulate why beyond a feeling.

I can't really relate to the creative Eng Lit thing - I took art and Eng Lit and then a literature degree. I did find it hard once I formed a view on what the book was saying or what it meant to accept that perceived wisdom was right and I was wrong.
But I have a good imagination and can come up with ideas (I write). But this is all on my terms - I can't really get into other people's views.

I can relate to painstakingly slow drawings from photos, but unable to do a quick sketch.
If i do a sketch it is dreadful, without fail, and looks like my 4 yr old has done it.
If I take hours on a drawing (but only from a photo that has grabbed me) then it will come out well.

I took English lit for A level and most of it went over my head. I can only take something in if I'm enjoying it. I'm better with facts which aren't open to different interpretations.
I still failed all my A levels though, I went to pieces in the exams.

Hello

I was directed this way after posting on the Born Naughty post last night. I have spent the day reading this thread and background materials and am now pretty certain that I have Aspergers /ASD. It's odd to see your whole life come together in one picture. I'd always thought that I had lots of odd quirks, but can now see that it's one common thread running through them.

I did the test posted on the top post of the page. I am attempting to add the picture of my results to this post. I got 136 neuro diverse and 81 neuro typical. I was interested to see that my graph is pretty even with no big spikes. Don't know if that means anything?

element, I am so with you on the English lit thing. I used to love reading for the escapism but I went off it for years after studying for my GCSEs and writing endless pointless essays about symbolism that I couldn't see and I wasn't convinced that the author meant (also LOTF, which I really enjoyed the first time I read it).

I saw this once which really made me laugh:

I always thought my symbolism was better than the received symbolism!

Cross posted, welcome to the thread Astarael :)

Everyone on the spectrum is different, so will struggle more or less with different aspects of life. So that's why some people have spikes on their charts. Your overall score says you are more ND than NT and it's the overall score that tells you what you need to know.

I know what you mean about how odd it is seeing your whole life described (and making sense maybe for the first time?). Do you think you will look for a formal diagnosis?