Support thread for women who suspect or know they have ASD traits or are on the spectrum

[OxfordBags]

Hello, all! As the title says, I hope this can be a support thread for those of us who suspect or know we have some (or many) Aspergic traits; where we can share experiences, stories, problems, worries, knowledge and info, and hopefully benefit and help each other too.

I found a great link a while ago that is very comprehensive in its description of how Asperger's presents in women and how women experience it. Some of it is strikingly different from the male model and how most people perceive Asperger's. Here: ASD in women

I truly believe two things: 1) that ASD in females is woefully misunderstood and under-diagnosed and 2) that our current understanding and the definition of the AS Spectrum is, in itself, rather ASD in its rigidity, and that there is an actual spectrum of traits much broader and more nuanced than the current model, and that there are a hell of a lot of people struggling with some very typical ASD traits, who nevertheless do not have all the traits required to fulfil a formal diagnosis of having Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism.

So, with that rather typically ASD-style long-winded and unnecessarily detailed intro out of the way, let's chat!

Roi3ek...
Tony Attwood has a section in his book The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome (described as "our bible" by the NHS developmental paediatrician who diagnosed my DD) which discusses the limitations of the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria. At the beginning of that section he says...
"Just reading the DSM-IV criteria as the only source of information from which to make a diagnosis, a clinician would have insufficient knowledge about Aspergers Syndrome to make a reliable diagnosis".

So much on this thread resonates with me.

Good luck for Tuesday, Holey. I'm still putting off making an appointment to see my GP to talk about it. I will get there eventually.

It's only this one thing. I have no issues with going to my GP. In fact she's normally the one person I can talk to about anything. She's been looking after my mental health issues for 8 years with anything from weekly to 3 monthly appointments during that time. And my physical health issues on top of that.

I just can't shake the feeling that she'll just laugh and tell me not to be ridiculous. Which is stupid because I know she'd never do that. I just don't think it's in her nature. I actually have a feeling that if diagnosis comesrom the mental health team here there isn't going to be much she can do anyway.

The DSM-V criteria make me feel a bit uncomfortable. It feels like an old-fashioned 'stereotypical' view of autism that doesn't bear much relation to knew research about what we know/are finding out about the neurobiology. I think the WHO ICD guidlines are probably much closer. From what I can remember I think the DSM criteria for lots of thing have a tendency to be controversial though.

Help! I've just scored 120 on the RAAD test. It was odd, many of the questions were things I've never considered before. So ... I'm guilty of saying "we're all on the spectrum" - which could possibly be explained by my actually being on the spectrum

Thing is, what use is this information to me? Working out that I'm dyspraxic hasn't made a jot of difference. I found out why I have certain issues, but the name has afforded me no more coping tools. In reality, I reckon I'm a lot dyspraxic and a bit aspergers. Can I do anything about this? Or is it just another "thing that's wrong with me"?

As Batman infers, I've got a portfolio of diagnoses, all of which are bog standard for a menopausal woman - depression; anxiety; CFS/ME; hypothyroid. Whether these are symptoms of lazy doctoring or a lifetime spent battling my oddness (or both), does it matter?

Makes perfect sense. In my case I do have a depressive illness and a sometimes broken thyroid. But I'm sure there's something else going on. I'm not convinced this is just a depressive illness. It may not be Aspergers but at the moment I'm getting a lot of not very useful CBT because I don't think it's aimed at the right thing. Ruling it in or out would help focus the treatment in the right place.

It would also help at work. Since I had a lot of time off work due to a major episode of depression last year a lot of my rigid behaviours/pedantry etc are being watched by my bosses trying to spot signs and are being used by them as signs that I am depressed/anxious stressed out by the job. Which leads to accusations that I can't cope and then them trying to take parts of my job role away. Being able to say 'actually I have Asperger's/HFA and this is just me and how I am' would help a lot. It's also likely to afford me some protection under the Equality Act. At the moment I can't seem to so much as breathe the wrong way without being accused of being anxious.

Thanks. I understand what you mean about gaining protections & being able to 'explain yourself' with a ratified diagnosis. Unfortunately, the effects you fear have already happened to me - and the ongoing repercussions are more than enough to cause depression & anxiety in anyone!

Bugger. I think I'll just shelve this :( I want to keep the thread active, though, so beware of short meaningless posts every few days!

Batman, you totally makes sense. I would guess that probably most depressions are situational. I could probably use antidepressants right now, but I have been down that road before and it did not improve things. I don't like to feel flat. Being an intense person by nature, it weirded me out that everything lost their edge, so to speak. Everything was smoother, all the while the same stinking situation was still going on, so who was being fooled? I have never tried anti-anxiety drugs. But frankly, the only time I felt good was with Ritalin.

Just checking in. I'm waiting for an apt for my second opinion apt. Different unit this time, apparently more thorough than the batshit lady I saw last summer.

I'm desperate to get an offical ASD diagnosis partly because it will help 5yo DD get one and I can let work know. Although I fear that at nearly 40 I've got so used to behaving normally I'm not sure if I can prove how hard I find life.

Crabby "Tony Attwood has a section in his book The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome (described as "our bible" by the NHS developmental paediatrician who diagnosed my DD) which discusses the limitations of the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria. At the beginning of that section he says...
"Just reading the DSM-IV criteria as the only source of information from which to make a diagnosis, a clinician would have insufficient knowledge about Aspergers Syndrome to make a reliable diagnosis"."

I agree that the writers of the manual are a bunch of clowns. Lots of people think so, and btw, in the newest permutation they did away with Asperger's competely. (And I will look up Tony Attwood.)

What I find is that there is an obsessive component to autism. Anybody who has been in the presence of someone with autism knows that. Of course, not everybody lines up their toy cars, or spins, or flaps their hands, I don't mean that. But there is something there that goes beyond social discomfort. For me, if I am on the spectrum, I have obsessive thoughts, I replay dialogue in my head, whether from the past, or a conversation I am planning to have, or the way a conversation should have gone. And I often repeat in my head sentences over and over again. Also, I get exhausted watching people have small talk, I don't know how they do it. But on the occasions when I do manage it, I eventually run out like a put-put car running out of fuel. It's comical, actually, except I'm the only one who's in on the joke. ;)

polter yeah, I get it now, you are right. The numbers obsession is surely overplayed, as are other stereotypes. My son for example has always made good eye contact with family members, and is affectionate, and that has fooled me for years.

batman I just realized why Tony Attwood sounded familiar. I have a book from the library right now in which he is a contributor. "Asperger's and Girls", featuring Tony Attwood, Temple Grandin, and several others, including Ruth Snyder who has Asperger's and wrote "Maternal Instincts in Asperger's Syndrome." I highly recommend this article, and the whole book. www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_14/188-6149271-8474909?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=aspergers%20and%20girls&sprefix=aspergers+and+%2Caps%2C4297

Place marking for later, I'm about to head out to evening class but don't want to lose this now that I have found it!

(Did the tests about a year ago, got somewhere in the region of 40 for AQ and around 5 for EQ)