Support thread for women who suspect or know they have ASD traits or are on the spectrum

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Hello, all! As the title says, I hope this can be a support thread for those of us who suspect or know we have some (or many) Aspergic traits; where we can share experiences, stories, problems, worries, knowledge and info, and hopefully benefit and help each other too.

I found a great link a while ago that is very comprehensive in its description of how Asperger's presents in women and how women experience it. Some of it is strikingly different from the male model and how most people perceive Asperger's. Here: ASD in women

I truly believe two things: 1) that ASD in females is woefully misunderstood and under-diagnosed and 2) that our current understanding and the definition of the AS Spectrum is, in itself, rather ASD in its rigidity, and that there is an actual spectrum of traits much broader and more nuanced than the current model, and that there are a hell of a lot of people struggling with some very typical ASD traits, who nevertheless do not have all the traits required to fulfil a formal diagnosis of having Asperger's or High-Functioning Autism.

So, with that rather typically ASD-style long-winded and unnecessarily detailed intro out of the way, let's chat!

'Injustice thing, that they've always thought i was a depressive (and were therefore surprised at my dx).'

But that is nothing to do with you. It is about them and their ignorance.

I'm not saying it isn't horrid at times to live in a society where people are ignorant to your needs and make unfair assessments. Of course it is. But it is horrid 'generally' rather than horrid 'personal'.

Holey, I think your age gets you out of the night club thing/ night out stuff now. I used to be out every night as a young thing but these days my idea of a good night out means finding a venue with available seats, music quiet enough to talk over and a cup of tea.

And I so don't miss the young noisy drunken days. They were full of insecurity, quite dangerous decisions at times, hurt feet, cold bus journey's home accompanied by the smell of vomit and pawing blokes!

If I hadn't done it I'd be no worse off and probably a bit richer.

I used to go to nightclubs occasionally and hated every minute of it, could never understand why, I used to feel tired, trying to talk over the music and keep up with conversations, then there was the break in routine (ie staying up past my fixed bedtime) that would cause me anxiety all week. Liked some of the music though, repetitive techno music

Hello everyone, and If I'm allowed to say, can i ask some advise how to go about getting (myself) diagnosed? I know it's different from kids as my son is being assessed at the moment.
I'm just not sure the best way and tbh I hate my GP. They'll Probably just laugh at me so I feel a little awkward going this way as they've always said I've got depression and confidence issues, which I must admit I do have PTSD from the past which i go counselling for. On my sons report when he seen his paediatric consultant in December for the first time, it states "mum also have OCD type behaviours" which I do but I think it's a little more than that. It's going back from my early days, where I quite simply did not fit
In with the young people my age, I did have certifications at that time that people didn't have etc. I've never really been clubbing like others have said and I prefer my "home", my own private life. I do not get on in large groups at all, I just can't cope. I've gone into Birmingham City on a saturday and I simple just phased out at the crowd. I felt "overwhelmed". I'm over analytic and think about everything, have obsessive thought patterns, always worrying if I've offended others. I don't like to talk much, prefer to email or text etc. If I talk with someone long enough I pick up their accent so quickly. Sometimes my smell sensitivity is so much I can get a headache. Talk formal even when it's not necessary
Such as my sons IEP meetings etc.

So with these being said can someone give me some information please of what to do? I live in Walsall (back end of Birmingham).
Thanks

Hanifah1 I printed out the PDF from the National Autism Society's website with traits of Aspergers in females (not sure of the exact title, but i found it by googling), ticking all the bits that applied to me (almost all) and taking that to the GP and asking to be referred to the Affective Disorders Team for possible ASD/Aspergers diagnosis.

The GP was happy to do it after she had checked I knew there was no cure. She asked a couple of questions about how I had found out about it, did I knows much about it, what was my desired outcome (the ability to join ASD support groups and help to learn some more coping strategies).

the waiting list tends to be quite long and diagnosis takes about a year here, sometimes more. Children get priority.

Hth.

Hi all,

This is my first post, I think, and I may forget to check in here (was just reminded I was a member by the "change password" thing - OMG MELTDOWN!!! Please forgive me if I don't check in often. My life is currently all sorts of crazy with holidays, my own University studies, and my husband having a broken leg (and I have 7 days to write 2000 word essay, and then 14 days to write 1200 word essay etc etc - all around DS therapy, DH doc appts, my dentist appts ARGH!).

After one of my DSs received ADHD dx (at 7, when I KNEW he was ASD since 2 years old) it took a different paed to get ASD (Aspergers) dx when he was 9 (which meant we missed out on MASSIVE funding that he would have benefited from greatly). But I can only take that as a sign that I was doing a great job, right :) I realised I don't necessarily have depression/anxiety/agoraphobia/panic disorder, but may in fact be one of the "lost girls" that are now being sought out. Unfortunately, the psych I saw wasn't too interested in dx for me, rather than just giving me what I need to get by (which is fine by me, because I wasn't coping). I had a rotten GP and when I was in the middle of a breakdown he told me he had patients waiting, and the girls at the front had just slotted me in because I said I couldn't cope, and he has things he needs to do, so he's stressed as well, so get a blood test and come back in 2 days.... So I got a new GP :) I KNOW I have Aspergers, DS is much more ASD than I am, but I just had a major melt down 2 days ago when DH was throwing things out in the kitchen (paperwork etc.). I am talking MAJOR meltdown/panic. Then it hit me - this is Aspergers, right? When I was young, I would only go out if my friends asked me (would NEVER instigate an outing). I hated pubs/nightclubs because you could never hear what people were saying. I had different versions of myself that I would have to choose as to who was appropriate for the crowd I was with (and this might take a while of me being really quiet and just "observing", so people thought I was majorly "up myself"). I didn't get my licence until 20 because I was terrified of having the responsibility of driving a car, and hated going anywhere without major planning/notice. If it wasn't so ridiculous it would be funny, but when I worked and would go "out with the girls" for lunch, I would have to find the menu out in advance to plan what I would order. And once or twice when it wasn't on offer that day: woi.... My bestie would look over at me and say, "ooh, no. Will you work something out?" because she knew EXACTLY what I was going through! I'm so glad to find this thread. My mum is almost convinced (my father has MAJOR traits - he would invite kids over to watch him play with his toys, but they weren't allowed to touch anything - and I am still not allowed to touch some of his things :) ). I know it could be said that everyone has some traits, but when The Big Bang Theory first came out, I looked at Sheldon and it was like a male version of myself - completely.... Only he is a little higher in IQ, I'd say :) I know we can't diagnose each other here, but do I sound like you guys???

polter yes to this >>> 'I just don't do anything that will make me anxious, I never do things because I 'should' or it's my 'duty''.

I have my routine, I can prepare myself when times like the school run mean I need to interact with people but otherwise I can manage my life so at my grand old age I don't have to cope with stressful situations very often. I can choose all my clothes so they are stretchy and feel 'right'. And being a LP I never get to go out in the evenings anyway.

Although today I had a meeting at work which overlapped my lunch break so I was internally freaking over my lunchtime walk being delayed for an hour or so. I always think I wouldn't cope if I was promoted to a position where I had to have lots of random meetings and I lost my 'down' time in the middle of the day.