Live webchat with Sam Baker, author of The Stepmothers' Support Group, Tues 8 Sept (1-2pm)

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

On Tuesday 8th September, Sam Baker, Editor of Red Magazine and author of The Stepmothers' Support Group will be joining us for a sponsored webchat between 1 and 2pm to answer your questions and talk about her own experiences of being a step-parent.

If you're unable to join us please send your questions in advance to this thread.

he doesn't make the effort and his ex doesn't actively make dates for him to come over

Thanks for your question playdoughfree

blimey! Most people I speak to the problem is the other way around - with the ex keeping on changing arrangements so you never know whether you're coming or going and can't plan the rest of your life.

Does he make the arrangements with his ex (or not make them) or does he leave it to you?

mssmith84

um... I don't know to be honest, if he won't make the effort I guess you can't be surprised if she won't. It's really hard. sorry I can't be more help.

Hi popmum

you tell me! the ridiculous thing of having November on the issue that comes out 1st October is a longstanding industry thing. It's as frustrating for us as it is for you.

We work three months ahead. right now the October issue is on sale tomorrow (I know!), the November issue goes to press on friday and we are working on December. I should have planned January but I haven't because I can't face thinking about 2010 yet.

Hi Antoxo

I think you're probably right, they are probably trying it on a bit. Good luck. Hope I helped a bit.

Oooh, you answered me quickly - thank you.

No, he's supposed to make the arrangements. But he dithers about timings and stuff.

It drives me mad! And I know it drives his ex mad too.

Maybe we should gang up against him, lol...

I don't but I've just looked up the site so I'll have a read. Did you ever consider including a stepfather in the novel? Do you think that they have an easier/harder time than stepmothers?

Hi whentwobecamefour

thanks for your question. sorry to leave you til last, been trying to think of an answer. think your situation is really tricky. for what it's worth, I'm not sure it's you who should talk to her about it, but her dad? my partner and I were quite tactile, but when he was little his son just used to join in! (we used to call it his radar - wherever he was in the house he seemed to know if we were having a sneaky hug.)

I don't know the answer but it seems to me only her dad can reassure her...

The hour is over so big thanks to Sam for joining us and answering so many questions. You can find out more about The Stepmothers' Support Group here and do join in more discussion on mumsnet's step-parenting talk board.
Thanks again Sam.

Thanks everyone for all your questions. Like I said I'm not an expert, just another stepmum so it's only my opinion, but I hope it helped.

It was really nice to chat to you

sam