Webchat with Daisy Goodwin, lunchtime, Tues 23 June

[GeraldineMumsnet]

As requested and promised, Daisy has accepted our invite and is coming on next Tuesday (exact time to be confirmed, but probably around 1pm). Get there early to bag your place.

LupusinaLlamasuit, you are right - a lot of what is heard in posts isn't actually written, it's what the poster assumes is being said, when nothing could be further from the truth.

I had it once, when I was very clearly slating formula manufacturers for their practices and someone came on and said words to the effect of "Oh, I know you loathe formula and think it's evil" - which wasn't what I said, nor what any bit of me thinks - but what can you do when somebody chooses to ascribe beliefs to you?

HUnker - I've heard people on MN threads describe a ff mother as feeding her baby shit. Nice.

That's outrageous and unkind, Swedes - and untrue - and I do hope you're not implying that I said or believe anything of the kind?

The Daily Mail
Who requested invite?
Tons of fabbo stuff on Mumsnet.
Weird to pick the odd negative bit[unless you are a sensationalist].

Hunker - I agree it's outrageous and unkind, but it is true - it's probably still in the archives.

So that one statement by a moron negates the swathes of supportive, well-informed posts that people take the time to write? And I wonder - was that one statement was shouted down by rafts of other people? The handful of times I've seen unpleasantness directed at women who've ff, it's generally squashed pretty quickly. I've done a lot of the squashing myself!

omg just read this and went utterly clammy at point it was suggested i lead chief inquisition
very flattered but aitch you have me bang to rights
good luck tomorrow ladies i won't be here but will read afterwards

No one's ever made me cry on Mumsnet

I have made MYSELF cry several times when I've been an insensitive prick though

sorry to all I have offended (i.e. most people)

fantastic post hunker. i wonder, are you going to address the last two questions daisy?

swedes is it really mners that have made you cry?

you're an intelligent lovely woman. you know that anyone that gets at you for not being able to breastfeed (i'm assuming this is why) is a total prick right?

it is mners or is it something in you that is very sensitised to this subject?

i ask that with the utmost respect (and affection) for you as a poster btw.

See. Look. Daisy. Not trying to be all self-centred here, but here's a typical recent Lupus post, in between debating the finer points of the problem of theodicy and whether people working at home can think with their shoes off:

Hi

I feel for you as we are just coming out (hopeful emoticon) of another 3-4 month period of constant illness in our 3 kids, though it is our middle child who causes the most worry. We finally insisted on a hospital check up when it got too ridiculous and they did a full blood test which turned up nothing. They don't like doing it on little kids but it put our minds at rest. They did suggest he had asthma and has been on steroid inhalers since. Not relevant to your situation but the underlying condition being more manageable has perhaps led to fewer chesty coughs and tiredness and therefore less general unwellness.

So I second others' views about getting the diarrhoea fully checked out again. Go back to the GP and ask for a full review of what it could be a symptom of? Ask to be referred on?

But should also say, it has been like this with all my kids in the first year/18m of nursery. They have to get these things to build up an immune system (and kids immune systems don't work very well until they're a bit older) and some kids - yours and mine - get things relentlessly.

FWIW DS1, now 10 was off seemingly every other week, and now has the consitution of a horse.

I'd check out the bowel thing again, get some extra hours of help to cover the work things, and a bit of moral support for you. It is really, really hard and draining. I speak from experience - have nearly gone nuts 3 times this year since returning from Mat Leave. You've gotta throw your hands up and give in and sleep when you can, but so hard to manage with work. Is your DH back soon? Can he be? Does he understand how difficult it is for you to keep all these balls in the air on your own?

Hope you get a break soon

Daisy - I've a few tips to share with you to make MN more enjoyable...

1. You can hide topics

1. You can hide threads

1. Have a glass of wine before reading

4.have a read of this before you post to cheer yourself up

the formula = shit thing comes from a very ill-tempered thread that ran to the thousand where moondog linked to an ecologist article that claimed formula was essentially junk food for babies.

she used the work junk in the title and a lot of people, myself included, were very offended. she took a tremendous kicking over it as i recall and she and i had A Big Discussion, raw as i was from my recent bfing uselessness.

of course i see now that while her thread title wasn't the most considered, she had every right to quote from the piece. but at the time it was painful to read. doesn't alter the facts, though, that formula (while it was a blooming godsend for both my dds) isn't as good as bm and that we don't know anything about how it's produced, what's in it, or why it costs so much.

only one person on here has made me cry, ever, and it was momentary and because she was being a solid gold bitch. she has gone elsewhere now, thank goodness. i think if people are making you cry on the internet then it's probably time to take a break, tbh.

Here's a really typical example of a BF thread going pearshaped with a really clever, wonderful person called Wilf posting an awful lot, even if she is being a teeny tiny bit patronising.

Anyhow, point is, this is what happens. We think we're engaged in the argy bargy of reasoned debate, throwing facts around and citing Proper Research and Vast Experience (in Tiktok and others' case - not, ahem, Wilf's). And the words Nazi, militant, preaching etc get used by those objecting to the cases being put.

I find it very difficult on that whole thread to find an instance of someone being horrible about FF. Some of us them are rather cutting in our patronising rapier wit. But only under extreme provocation after banging heads on wall trying not to have our comments taken out of context or misinterpreted or labelled with all kinds of projected nonsense.

Is this the BF gestapo you mean DG? Really?

Anyway. Proper latenight work calls. I absolutely admire you for coming to MN to have the discussion. Would far rather an intelligent bird like you came and joined us instead of slagging us off.

btw Aitch, I do hope you will be asking some questions tomorrow, because I think you will do a fantastic job.

why thank you. i do miss that poster, that wilfsell fella. totally agree btw that dg is bright and better on here than off. also salute the balls etc.

Aitch - The formula shit thread to which you refer isn't the one I have in mind - I suspect there are many. And btw the tears were about 2 years ago. I've learnt to navigate Mumsnet better and hide topics.

Does anyone remember the Mumsnet thread in response to India Knight's Sunday Times article about fundamentalist breastfeeders? IK got a Mumsnet duffing over that was really ugly.

it's a bit quiet here for an impending webchat.......am I missing something going on elsewhere or is there some kind of boycott going on? or has she chickened out realised she has some long planned, but forgotten prior commitment?

Hmmmm....it is a bit quiet. I can certainly chuck in a Q or two just to be polite and get the thing going if neeeded

? where is everyone?
has there been a gf-type banning of mention or have i missed something...

ah. 1pm.

I have a question - what do you think is the role of the media in britains society? What responsibilties do you think you have as someone who works in the industry?
I'm thinking in the context of what you hope to achieve from your tv programmes and newspaper columns (sorry that sounds aggressive - its not meant to be but I couldn't think of another way to put it!)