On-line chat with Dr Linda Papadopolous

[rachel(mumsnet)]

Dr Linda Papadopolous will be joining us on Friday 12th October between midday and one o'clock for an online chat with Mumsnetters.

Linda is one of the most well-known and respected psychologists today. Known by the public for her regular appearances on TV shows such as Big Brother, Richard & Judy, GMTV and Celebrity Fit Club. She is also the resident psychologist for Cosmopolitan magazine.

Following a report conducted by Bold 2-in-1 that found that one in four mums admit to having less than ten minutes to themselves a day, Linda is helping to promote a nationwide campaign called 'me-time for mums'. She is happy to answer your questions on how to tackle the pressures of motherhood and find more 'me-time' rather than constantly feeling stretched and inadequate.

Linda will be joining us for an hour on Friday at midday, so get your questions ready and join us then.

If you're not able to join us on Friday, please post advance questions here.

Thanks, MNHQ

I saw her on a flight from Cyprus recently, she is stunning.

Ten minutes to myself - yes, I remember having that once...

Okay a question: since I will forget by Friday to log on because I'm so tired from this child rearing malarkey - how do we get our spouses to WANT to help with the DC, rather than be forced to, so I can wash my hair without having an rather short audience heckling me?

bump !

i wont be there.

AGAIN

10 minutes is a luxury in this house!!

I must be the first person to actually look forward to going into hospital for an operation as I would a) get some sleep and b) be looked after. Managed a but b sorely lacking - any advice as now officially feel like housekeeper than wife (ps I lickily got a lovely maternity nurse in to look after our 5 month old as knew that would be too much)

Shute should have checked drug spelling - meant luckily not likily

i love her
she is so pretty and bloody clever

i am working that day so will miss the chat but would love to know how to get over the awful feeling i get most days which is:

that no-one gets the best of me - not my DS, my DH, employers, my friends, me - I feel i am juggling so many roles very precariously, that one day they are all going to come crashing down.

i am a full time WOHM, with one DS of 16 months BTW

thanks!

bump

Hi Linda,

I'm a mum of two (2 and 10 months) and struggle to find any time for myself. Can you suggest some good ways to find this me-time? Often if I get time to myself - which doesn't happen often - I feel guilty as there are always a million and one things that I ought to be doing. My husband is away a lot and our families are not close by - sometimes I just feel like tearing my hair out!

Any suggestions are most welcome, thanks Linda.

Err - I think many MNetters spend way more than 10 minutes per day on here, so perhaps this isn't the best forum for this discussion.

Linda, do you feel you collaborate with the exploitation of vulnerable people by giving a veneer of respectability to tat like Big Brother.

hi
id liek to knwo about sibling order adn what research there is ( if any) on perosnality/achievement.

Would love to hear the suggestions for getting more time to yourself. I have a 2 year old, a 3.5 year old, work 3 days a week and have a husband who is often away or working (he is an RAF doctor). That means that regular 'time off' is just not possible because his schedule is so irregular. I have very little family support (particularly as both sets of parents are divorced and my mother is a high achieving career woman) and my friends live all over the place! Answers on a postcard please...

MsCD - I've often thought it would be nice to be hospitalised (not seriously to be worrying, but away from home iyswim) for a break That might make me insane though

My question is - I have a toddler, a new-schooler (1/2 days), run a new business from home... another one who feels that everyone has a piece of me, but no-one has enough to make a DECENT piece I don't have enough to make a decent piece of me either. Exhausted and bleurgh.

How about when do you find time when your children are of widely varying ages - so you are up early but go to bed before the older ones? We'd like some time together as a couple in our own home after 18 years of child rearing - we have to go out to find it!

By the way I had a day in hospital this summer (for nothing too drastic) and it was bliss! Coming home to chaos - not so good.

Hi there, I'm a 25 yr old mum of 4 (5yrs, 3yrs, 2yrs & 10mths). I constantly have no me-time & i am constantly juggling life. On the rare occasions i get any time to myself i feel guilty & worry over the things still needing to be done.
Any advice how to get a happy life balance?
Clarissa
x

The guilt associated with "me" time is very strong.
Almost feel like i should not have it. I never make good use of it as it is invariably swallowed up by getting things done, for the house/family/spouse/child/school/other family members.
It almost seems like it is engraned into the psychie of me as a mother.
My question is, do you know of a good mantra that can abolish these feelings of guilt,and can you offer a good common sense way of changing the way that i think of this.
It can be very disabling and unhealthy i think.

actually, seeing as me time is something i have never heard of, i would like to know what her opinion is of MNtters in general..psychologically speaking are we all doomed to the "special room" and The Jacket?!

Hi Linda

I'm pregnant with my first and concerned about the expectations I'm putting on myself.

I'm not expecting to leap straight back into size 10 Seven jeans (they didn't fit me before I was pregnant!) or anything but I have been used to the way my life has been up to now and I'm worried about the way that having a baby will change my life.

Although I've got close friends/relatives with small children and so have an inkling of I can't even imagine what it's going be like but I've always thought it's better to make the baby fit in with you as much as you can rather than vice versa.

Any ideas on how I can prepare myself for the new arrival?

TIA

I have a 2.5yr old and an 8 week old. so far I have managed 5 minutes alone since the baby was born... walking up the road for a pint of milk.

How do I convince my husband to look after her more? If I simply leave her with im he will run the opposite direction. it has to be softly softly. Any hints?

Hospital does work for time off - but the food is crap, and the washing, ironing, hoovering etc are all there when you get back....

Oooh, I lurve her. I wont be around for the chat (unless I take an early lunch and skive a little!)

I always feel inadequate and like I am running at a million miles an hour but still getting nowhere.
I am a 26 year old mother of a two year old daughter, I work Monday to Friday, leaving the house at seven and getting back at five.
I am studying to be an accountant when she is asleep in bed and I get to sit down and focus (usually she's asleep by eight, and so I study, after clearing up the house).
I often feel like I have no energy, because as much as my husband tries to help, especially with reference to getting my daughter to bed, because she only ever wants her mummy.
How can I claw some time back for myself, even half an hour quality non-cleaning, non-studying non-working non-mummy time a week would be lovely!!