Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet webchats

WEBCHAT GUIDELINES: 1. One question per member plus one follow-up. 2. Keep your question brief. 3. Don't moan if your question doesn't get answered. 4. Do be civil/polite. 5. If one topic or question threatens to overwhelm the webchat, MNHQ will usually ask for people to stop repeating the same question or point.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Nadia Sawalha and Kaye Adams on the dark side of social media - Webchat Wednesday 9pm

60 replies

MumsnetGuestPosts · 19/07/2018 16:38

Kaye Adams on Snap Maps:
“It was a spooky moment. I was at home in bonnie Scotland when Nadia called and asked where my eldest daughter was. I said she was away with friends, unsure of the exact address. “Well, I know where she is,” said Nadia, and reeled off 
an address that sounded vaguely right. I thought she was going
 a bit bonkers, but when I checked she was bang on. She knew exactly where Charly was - and I didn’t. That’s when I learned about Snap Map, an addition to Snapchat. Nadia’s daughter Maddie had located Charly to show Nadia how it works.
We were flabbergasted. It gave an exact, real-time location and even showed who she was with, and if the other people were also Snapchat friends. The possibilities for misuse started to run through our heads: a jealous boyfriend, a left-out friend, an older individual trying to stalk them. We put a video on our social media channel expressing our concern and got over 30 million hits.
Snapchat got in touch with us and we met with a senior executive who tried to reassure us that only ‘friends’ had access
 to the information and only then if the user was not in ‘ghost mode’. If you select ghost mode, you remain under cover. When we asked whether these features had been trialled on the teenage brain, the executive from Snapchat admitted they had not. Yes, you can put it in ghost mode but you have to want to. And yes, you are only visible to friends, but the app allows you to have up to 2,500 ‘friends’ and, as we all know, the more ‘friends’ you have, the more popular you are. In teen world, popularity is everything. (You can now select which Snapchat friends can see your location.)
Snapchat isn’t the only platform that offers a ‘finding service’. The reality is that if you have a smartphone, you can probably be tracked. It might start out as a bad joke, a crush, or an infatuation, but the potential is there for it to turn into something sinister.”

Nadia Sawalha on sexting:
“Even though it turns me grey every time I do it, sexting is something my daughter Maddie and I often talk – ugh – frankly about. It seems one of the most common experiences of sexting for her girlfriends is to receive anonymous ‘dick pics’ (yes, I had the same shudder when I heard those words) in the form of direct messages.
When I plead with Maddie to help me understand why her friends don’t just have private accounts in order to avoid this modern day form of ashing, she says that many of her friends feel a sense of empowerment in being able to look and laugh. In fact, some girls see those visual ‘assaults’ (as I call them) as opportunities to turn the tables on those who send them.
Maddie tells me that she knows lots of girls who have sent nude images of themselves only to make the horrifying discovery that the boy they sent them to then passed them around his entire friendship group. One can only imagine the mortification this must cause these poor girls.
So, in a strange form of feminist revenge, some girls have taken to screenshotting these dick pics (which, on some platforms, informs the sender that a screenshot has been taken) and using them as leverage against the sender.
Of course, my husband and I would much rather friends of Maddie weren’t seeing these images at all and I have to confess,
 I never cease to be amazed at how receiving a dick pic is often accompanied by laughter. It seems that a desensitization of what is right or wrong to see on your handset has already occurred, and so there is virtually no shock attached to seeing such abusive images.
In fact, the idea of female empowerment appears to be a huge part of sexting. The argument seems to be that the sender of nude photos, by ‘being in demand’ or ‘being in control’ of how they are seen on screen, is somehow in control of how they’re seen by their social group. These justifications of sexting or sending sexualized images are a grave cause for concern for any parent.”

Nadia, Kaye and Will are joining us for a webchat on Wednesday 25 July between 9 and 10pm to discuss these and other issues raised in their book Parent Alert!, including social media, chatting online, cyberbullying, gaming addiction and online shopping. Post your comments, experiences and questions for Nadia, Kaye and Will in the comments box below.

Parent Alert! How To Keep Your Kids Safe Online. By Nadia Sawalha, Kaye Adams and Will Geddes. DK, £15.99. DK.com

OP posts:
RachelMumsnet · 25/07/2018 22:00

Big thanks to Will and Nadia for joining us this evening. It's such an important and ever-changing parenting issue and good to have the opportunity to discuss this evening. Thanks to everyone who posted questions.

WillGeddes · 25/07/2018 22:03

@n23456

What is the best way to monitor snapchat activity? Can I get an app on my phone that would show me everything my daughter is doing on hers? I'm concerned that I don't have any idea what settings to check to ensure she is safe and her location is private.

Will be buying this book!!!! Thank you :)

Hi n23456. 'Cloning' their Snapchat activity can be difficult but, depending on their age, I would consider for younger ones that you control the password and 2FA (Details in the book). In settings, you can also set up 'Ghost mode' so they're not transmitting their location to every and anyone. Also ensure in settings their profile is set to private. We have a guide in how to do all this.

NadiaSawalha · 25/07/2018 22:03

Thanks ever so much for joining us tonight ! Please take a look at Parent Alert Kaye and I think Will has done the most marvellous job in writing the ultimate go to parenting guide for the 21st century ! Information is power guys !!

Sleep well .... in this flaming heat !!

Nads x

WillGeddes · 25/07/2018 22:04

@Coyoacan

I live in a country where kidnapping is an all too common an occurrence. These location apps have probably already resulted in some unnecessary deaths

Hi Coyoacan. You're absolutely right and they have. The failure and vulnerability can often be down to not setting accounts to private and having 'location on' all the time. Makes sure that it's set, in settings' to 'Only when using the app' if necessary.

WillGeddes · 25/07/2018 22:05

@TheMaddHugger

spam reported

One of my favourites. ;)

WillGeddes · 25/07/2018 22:10

Thanks everyone. Some great questions and really appreciate the invite on here Mumsnet. Hope we could answer some of your questions. Take care and be safe.

TheOwlTheory · 25/07/2018 22:25

So basically Will wrote the book and the Loose Women helping to plug it?

OlennasWimple · 25/07/2018 22:28

So basically Will wrote the book and the Loose Women helping to plug it?

And the answer to every question is "buy the book!"

ShirleyPhallus · 25/07/2018 22:33

So basically Will wrote the book and the Loose Women helping to plug it?

Grin

Web chat of under 2 pages doesn’t scream success does it?!

JeezYouLoon · 26/07/2018 11:58

Yep if in doubt buy/borrow and read the book Hmm

New posts on this thread. Refresh page