Live webchat with baby sleep expert, Jo Tantum, Wednesday 4 March, 10-11am

[RachelMumsnet]

On Wednesday 4th March between 10-11am Jo Tantum will be on hand to answer all your questions and hopefully guide you and your babies towards a more peaceful night's sleep.

Jo is a baby sleep expert from Pampers’ Love, Sleep and Play expert panel with 25 years' experience and the author of bestselling book 'Baby Secrets'. She is a trusted name within the parenting sector and provides expert advice, literature and professional services to parents everywhere. Put the date in your diary to join Jo at 10am on Wednesday 4th or put your question to her in advance on this thread.

Over the past month Pampers has been working with Jo Tantum and parents across the UK to gather the most valuable and useful #BabySleep tips to help ensure a good night's sleep for babies. Now it’s your turn to share your #BabySleep questions and Jo will answer as many as she can get through on Wednesday 4th March.

This Q&A is sponsored by Pampers

Hi Jo. DS 14mo is a pretty good sleeper really, on a very good night he stirs when I go to bed, then wakes up early in the morning, and, if given milk, will go back to sleep for a couple of hours.

Sometimes recently though he wakes up really screaming for no obvious reason, clean nappy, only a couple of hours after bedtime milk so not hungry, not in pain as I give Calpol. It can take a long time to settle him. Do you have any advice? Has he just had a nightmare?

Also, he is quite a skinny baby, so I can completely understand that he is hungry after being in bed from 7- say, 4.30/5. But obviously it would be nicer for me if he didn't wake up then. Is there any point ignoring him and trying to sleep train when I know he is hungry? I am sure he will grow out of it eventually.

Thank you

My dd is nearly 4, so I'm not sure she counts as a baby....

She has always been a rubbish sleeper. Even now she doesn't reliably sleep though. She wakes up, calls for me and then just needs tucking back in or shhh and a pat. Which is nice and quick but then I'm awake! I have no idea WHY she is waking up!

Any thoughts on how to solve this would be great!

My 8 month old dd wakes up every night and cries for two hours, nothing will settle her and she cries until she has tired herself out. We have a good bedtime routine established with our two year old who happily trots off to bed and rarely wakes up I used controlled crying with him at six months which worked in a 5 days and was fairly easy to do. Its just not working with her, she will go to bed and settle down by herself after a few minutes of fussing/crying, I am no longer bf her to sleep to encourage her to self settled. I have stopped bf feeding during the night as it only seemed to encourage her to wake more often. She has a dream feed at 1030 and I won't feed her again till after 0500, even when I have given in and fed her it doesn't help her sleep. No amount of back rubbing and shushing makes any difference, as soon as I stop she's off again, if I pick her up and rock her she is just wide awake and trying to look around. If she found any comfort in me sat by her cot all night I would but she doesn't. She is so loud and piercing that it takes nerves of steel to sit in her room with her during this time, my husband works away during the week. During the day she is a happy smiley beautiful baby, although she will not go down for regular naps. She might not need to sleep but mummy does! Any suggestions for all our sanity?!

Hello! My baby is 18 weeks and I'm finding naps so stressful!

He sleeps usually 30 mins to an hour in the morning in his pram while I'm out then we try the lunchtime nap in his cot then I try for a late afternoon half an hour which is normally on me.

He used to sleep 2 or 3 hours at lunchtimeish and now won't sleep longer than 45 mins but then he's furious when he wakes up and I can't seem to get him off again unless I feed him to sleep.

I guess my specific question is should I be really persevering with the long lunchtime nap? Keep resettling? Feed to sleep if I have to?

Hello Jo, really hoping you can help.

Our DS is almost 27 months old and we are very lucky that once he is asleep, he says asleep. however he wakes up at 5am every day, sometimes at 4:30 and we can't get him back to sleep. There is no obvious reason for this other than he is awake and ready to start the day!

This is getting to be a real problem because DH and I both work with long drives to work, DH has found himself falling asleep at the wheel on the motorway and has to pull over to sleep at service stations. We share the early mornings as much as possible but it is getting ridiculous and is not fair for only one of us to do all the early mornings.

DS can be a picky eater, has no serious health or development problems. He goes to bed at 7am but can take up to an hour to fall asleep with us sitting quietly by his bedside. His bedtime routine is currently: 6oz of warm milk, teeth cleaned, into bed, story, lights off.

He has his two year check with the health visitor ths week, but I'd love to hear your thoughts too. Thanks in advance.

Forgot to add, he has one nap during the day for around 1 hour and 20 minutes around lunchtime, but this nap can be longer if he has been up since stupid o'clock

Hi Jo,
My 8 month old is so varied! Some nights he sleeps 6pm-5am some nights from midnight he will wake every hour! He's been night weaned for months so it's not hunger waking him. Most of the time I put his dummy in, white noise on and he's straight back to sleep but how do I get him to wake up less? He is teething so if he wakes really crying I give him ibuprofen but often hes just unsettled until I go in. The disrupted sleep is really hard as I often struggle with insomnia in the night. Thanks

Hi Jo

6 month old DD is usually good at sleeping when she eventually goes down for the night, however the earliest she falls asleep is between 12pm-3am. She usually sleeps for 5-8 hours at night, has a 1-2 hour nap in the morning and occasionally a half hour nap at some point in the afternoon. Even if she barely naps she still won't go down before 12pm. And even after nights where DD has had a crap sleep she's still wired the next day!

We've had a winding down/bed time routine in place for a few months - usually starting at 8pm and ending at 10pm with her bedtime bottle. I make sure she has plenty of tummy time, get her outdoors in the pram etc. but it doesn't appear to make any difference. She just seems to have endless energy!

She doesn't stay up screaming she just wriggles about a lot and babbles loudly to herself. She can do this for hours. She feeds well, and is on ranitidine and Gaviscon for reflux.

Recently had to go back to work p/t and not getting to bed until 12pm-3am is killing me. Any advice on coaxing DD into a slightly earlier bed time is welcome! Thanks

Hi Jo. My just turned 2 year old started refusing to nap 2 months ago (so at 22 months). We got her night time sleep sorted by a sleep consultant last summer and she's been a dream child for 6 months. Now this!

She rubs her eyes, yawns, stretches, tells us she's tired but when we put her down for her lunchtime nap she gets a second burst of energy and is bouncing in her cot, chatting to herself, not crying, not upset, but definitely not sleeping! She gets out of her sleeping bag, takes her socks off and just generally runs round the cot (not moved her to a bed yet).

She does this whether we put her down before she's tired when she's tired, or when we know she's over tired. No time seems to be right. We've tried lunch before nap time and lunch after nap time.

Her routine is up at 7am, put down for nap at 12.30 (to fall asleep by 1pm), woken up/wakes herself 2.30/3 (depending on when she's fallen asleep. If she does fall asleep it's always for the full 2 hours) then bedtime at 7pm.

I know we need to change something or nothing will change but I've run out of ideas and my sleep consultant has stopped taking work on. At best she will have 1 nap in her cot a week. If she naps at the childminders (3 x week) she'll sleep in the car, never in a cot anymore. With me she will nap in the car but I'm not prepared to drive round for hours especially as I'm pregnant and could do with the nap myself! Really hoping you can help us. Thank you.

Hi jo.

When my 1st dd was born, she absolutely refused to sleep on her back. I tried every which way as I wanted to follow the SIDS advice, but it was either sleep on front, or not sleep. I have since read on here that the sleep on back advice is because babies sleep deeper on their front. So the logic must be that if the baby barely sleeps, front sleeping is less of a risk for SIDS than if the baby slept fairly well on its back. Now I'm pg with another and worried i'll get the same thing again. So I'd like some more information about it so I can make an informed decision. What would your advice be?

Good morning Jo
Our 14 month year old was sleeping 12 hours 8 -8 until two weeks ago. He now struggles to settle and wakes in the night. Out of the blue he started getting upset when we put him in his cot and though I (mum) can settle him by placing hand on him and saying "shhh" for a few minutes he gets really upset when his dad tries to put him to bed. It is unpredictable when he wakes in the night (could be at any hour). On some nights all he has needed is tipping back onto his side and saying "shhh" on other he is really hysterical and needed body comfort. A couple of times I have eventually brought him in to sleep with us which not at all helpful in the long run. He gets completely hysterical if his dad tries to settle him in the night, calling out for mum. Advice really appreciated. I have been to the doctor and no medical reason. Thank you
Walrus

Hello Jo,

I am desperate for some advice on tackling early waking.

We have 3 boys, 7, 4 (nearly 5) and 18 months old.

Our nearly 5 year old wakes every day at any point between 5am and 5.30am. He goes to sleep well at 7pm every night (often falling asleep to the story as he is so zonked, but also goes well to bed and falls asleep by himself otherwise). He's at school now and exhausted. He has always woken at that time, through the seasons (he wakes when his room is pitch black).

Our 18 month old is the same. He goes down at around 7, he has a breastfeed, we brush his teeth and then put him in his cot, he is drowsy but awake, sing him a song and pat his back. He (normally!) goes off to sleep. He sometimes wakes at 9pm and 10pm, husband goes in and cuddles him, and puts him back in his cot. He then wakes at any time between 4am and 5.30am every day. He has a breastfeed and is awake and ready for the day. We've tried my husband going in to settle him, which sometimes works, in that he falls asleep, but is awake again 10 minutes or so later. It's like his body is just destined for early wake ups. Other times he just refuses to go to sleep. I don't want to leave him to cry for a long time.

We are beyond exhausted, as are our boys and it's heartbreaking to see them rubbing their eyes at breakfast time and so tired.

Any advice very much appreciated. Thank you.

Hi. How much if your advice is evidence based? Do you think that culturally we have entirely unrealistic expectations wrt the sleep of infants and young kids?

Hi Jo,

Like others on here I am wondering about naps. My 3 month old daughter will have a 45 minute morning nap in her cot about an hour and a half after she wakes for the day, and we have had limited success getting her to have another 45 minute nap in her cot at lunchtime. However she often wakes still tired from this nap. The only way I can get her to sleep for longer is in the sling for her lunchtime and afternoon nap.

I am wondering if I need to be persevering more with trying to get her to nap at lunchtime and in the afternoon in her cot, and how to get her to nap for longer. Is this a developmental thing that comes with time or do I need to work on this now?

Hi Jo. Great to see you on here. I loved your 'baby secrets' book with baby #1 and am re-reading for #2! DS is now 2 years old. We never have issues with the daytime nap nor getting DS to get to sleep at bedtime thanks to a strict routine. The problem comes in the middle of the night when he insists on having a drink and won't settle until he gets one. This sometimes happens 3 or 4 times a night He'll usually go straight back to sleep afterwards but surely he can't be THAT thirsty?! All the interrupted sleep is exhausting us. Plus we seem to be getting through ridiculous amounts of nappies! Please help! TIA.

marking place so i don't forget it

Please help any advice would be fantastic
We have a 22 month old who is a brilliant sleeper sleeps 7-0830
We also have a 6 month old who goes down at 7 a bit fussy for 30 mins then falls asleep with a dummy. At 10 p.m. I give a bottle dream feed then he wakes at 2 then 4 then thinks it's party time won't go back to sleep wakes up sister then we are all quite grumpy how can I get him to sleep longer tried just giving water but he screamed the house down

Hi Jo, looking forward to joining the web chat on Wednesday, thank you for coming.

We have a 9 month old who has defeated me on the sleep front. She naps sporadically during the day, sometimes nothing all day, sometimes half an hour, an hour, two hours. I always put her down at 9:30am and 1:30am when at home. She is not fed to sleep. She shows all the signs of tiredness but then wont go down. The HV says she is fine and she has two older siblings at home so she is just distracted by them but I don't see how this nap schedule can be good for her.

Also I am desperate to night wean, the lack of sleep is killing me. She has gone from sleeping through at around 4 months to waking every two or three hours. I've managed to get it down to one or two wake ups but I have to feed her to get her back down. If I don't she shouts louder and louder until the children wake up! I end up taking her downstairs to cuddle her until she finishes crying and falls asleep on me. Any advice would be great please.

Hi, we have q nearly 3 year old (34 mths) who has never slept through, he dropped his afternoon nap about 6 months ago and is ready to go to bed at 7pm he falls asleep with dh or I by 730 but will wake at least once sometime through the night, usually either 12, 2 or 5am. When he wakes he usually settles very quickly just a quick hug and reassurance then he's straight back to sleep. He gets up for the day between 7&8 am. We tried leaving him but he starts to cry until we go in and is then awake for longer. Will he grow out of it? Or can we try anything else. Thanks

Dd is 5 months old, she mostly uses a dummy to settle for bed and naps sometimes at night i will replace it. She has a comforter with a tab that can hold a dummy. I am wondering whether its a good idea to use it with a view to taking the dummy away in the end but she'd still have the comforter. Is this a good idea? When is it safe to use one of these in her cot? She has rolled from back to front in the last couple of weeks but she can't always manage it. TIA

EARLY WAKING!! My daughter is 17 months old. She goes to bed 6.30pm-7.00pm and self settles in cot without fuss. She wakes any time from 4am... 6am is an amazing lie-in when it happens. She naps 1pm-3pm or thereabouts.

What can we do? Thanks

Hi Jo,

Really hoping you can help as I'm really at the end of my tether

DD is 5.5 months and a total sleep disaster. We are making slow progress with things, but everything relies on her being swaddled. She is close to rolling, and I've been told that we can no longer swaddle her once she can roll.

Do you agree with this? And... Do you have any advice on how to wean her off of swaddling?

I've tried several times to put her down without swaddling, and it ends in hysterics, choking and vomiting where she gets into such an over tired state. She just constantly claws at her face, pulls her dummy out and generally gets herself into an inconsolable state.

Cry it out, leave her to it and cold turkey type solutions really don't work with her, she just works herself into a state that feels dangerous.

I'm so hopeful you can help!

Thanks.

Hi jo mayb im jumping the gun a bit but ds2 is almost 5 weeks and is becoming a terrible daytime napper. For instance on Sunday he woke around 7ish and didn't sleep again that day until 6pm woke at 10pm for bottle and back to sleep and the same at 2am and 6am. At least 5 times he fell asleep in r arms or being fed but only lasted about 10mins once placed in basket. Today has been something similar. He has reflux and is currently taking carobel in his formula and sleeps on his side. We have tried nursing pushed in pram bouncer swing or just placed in basket settled. Any advice would be great.