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WEBCHAT GUIDELINES: 1. One question per member plus one follow-up. 2. Keep your question brief. 3. Don't moan if your question doesn't get answered. 4. Do be civil/polite. 5. If one topic or question threatens to overwhelm the webchat, MNHQ will usually ask for people to stop repeating the same question or point.

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MNHQ

Live Webchat with Ruby Wax - Thursday 12th May 1.30 - 2.30 pm

110 replies

RachelMumsnet · 09/05/2011 14:19

We're delighted that Ruby Wax is joining us for a live webchat on Thursday 12th May between 1.30-2.30pm. Ruby's theatre show Losing It is currently running at Menier Chocolate Factory in London. In the show Ruby explores the ups and downs of mental illness and draws on her own experience of depression to create a show which is described as 'incredibly brave and heartbreakingly funny' (Harry Enfield). The theatre show ends with a Q&A session which gives members of the audience a chance to share their own experiences and there are weekly Forums with leading mental health experts. Ruby is a trained psychotherapist and is currently studying for a MSt in Mindfulness at Oxford University. Along with Stephen Fry, she is an ambassador for the campaign, Time To Change which was launched to coincide with a survey that found one in three people admitted they would find it hard to tell others if they had mental health problems.

Ruby moved the UK to study drama in Glasgow and worked as an actress before she turned to comedy. She has appeared on numerous TV shows including her own chat shows; 'The Full Wax' and 'Ruby Wax Presents' (remember Imelda Marcos' shoes?) She was also Script Editor for Ab Fab and is a big supporter of Comic Relief having taken part in Celebrity Fame Academy, Comic Relief does the Apprentice and Masterchef at Number 10, where earlier this year the PM enjoyed her crab salad) She also runs her own Leadership consultancy and Coaching company, Ruby Wax.

Join us on Thursday at 1pm or send a question in advance to Ruby and you'll be entered into a draw to win a pair of tickets to see 'Losing It' between now and 18th June.

OP posts:
SpeedyGonzalez · 12/05/2011 14:14

Grin at Ruby. Many of my friends and I would have given EXACTLY the same answer about ourselves! It's teaching me to appreciate the way I look/ am right now, as in 10 years from now I'll be looking back with the same wistfulness.

Hope the show, etc go swimmingly well.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:14

@SpeedyGonzalez

I don't really have a question for you, Ruby. But I just want to say that you are bloody brilliant Grin.

What can I say? Thank you.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:14

@AitchTwoOh

omg and the woman with the beehive from your dad's office?! and the weiner van, and that opening shot where it became apparent that your house was tiny by comparison to the newer ones.

i loved that documentary, you know. i think it was a formative experience in my life. so touching, so funny, so brutal. i wish they would show it/them (there were two?) again.

I can't believe you remember those documentaries. The woman with the beehive worked for my dad she had over 20 wigs and was as large as a caravan. My dad used to verbally abuse and her and she'd abuse him back that was a love match. When I did my high school reunion because most of my friends had gone insane and we filmed it I am not allowed back to my hometown, I have a fatwa on my head.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:16

@r0se

Hi Ruby,

I am hoping you can help me with something, as a previous depression sufferer I wonder if you would mind me asking you something, my mum has recently suffered depression .. my question is what is the best thing I can do apart from just "be there" for her? Is there anything that I can do that will help her with a speedier recovery? Thank you & hope you are well xx

Get her to a doctor who understands depression not just a doctor who dispenses generic pills. Thank god we have medication now to alleviate suffering you just have to find the right chemicals. Also if you?re lucky enough to find a good therapist you?ve struck gold.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:17

@spikemomma

Ruby - you rock!

My question: why do you rock so much? Is it because you were born with nice cheek bones?

You're inspiring and daft as a brush. I liketh.

I liketh you for saying I hath high cheekbones. The rest of my face hangeth off those bones but that is not why I rocketh. Tis because I don't give a shit.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:18

@frangipan

My husband named our daughter after you because he thought you were full of character x

When I was little only cleaning woman and hookers were called RUby so I hope we don't go back to those days when she's growing up. I was named after a hooker my dad liked

BecauseImWorthIt · 12/05/2011 14:19

Actually I do have a serious question, if I can ask one more?

My DH suffers from sporadic bouts of a depression. We have had a major breakthrough recently, as he has at last admitted it. (It was obvious to me, as my father suffered in the same way).

But he refuses to go to the doctor about it, refusing to accept that 'chemicals' can help him.

What can I do to help, given this refusal?

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:20

@frangipan

Did you ever try to find a 'reason' for your depression Ruby? I have depression and I am constantly trying to find a cause or an excuse for it even though I suspect there isn't one. xxx

You are wasting your time and money there was a reason but even if you know what it was, once you have a few bouts of it it is a chemical in your brain that is depleted, so think of it as a physical illness and you need to up the seretonin. this bitch of a disease works in cycles and returns when you don't expect it.
RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:21

@ByThePowerOfGreyskull

Hi Ruby,
We all take a huge step forward with the public perception of mental health issues when funny lovely people who are in the limelight are prepared to stand up and say "this has effected me too"

I suffer with mental health issues, I have ptsd and subsequent depression that has been caused by continuous reliving of events. It is at times a nightmare trying to be a balanced mother of 2 small children and take care of my fragile mental health.

I have been hugely lucky, I have a great GP who pressed the panic button for me and managed to get me psychiatric support and yet in makes me so sad to hear and see with friends where the support network isn't there. (and the money isn't necessarily there to fill the void)

I am told regularly that if I had a broken ankle I wouldn't be shy about my ailment in public, a bad thing happened to me, I am the victim not the dangerous person, and yet how doesn't it feel like that.

With your amazing humour it would be great if you felt you could share with us a witty quip to use when faced with fearful or negative responses to our various mental health issues.

(sorry for the essay, if you haven't fallen asleep, would just like to add that your humour totally tickles my funnybone)

A journalist recently asked me what I hoped for in ten years I said that hopefully by then the public would discriminate against people with herpes and leave us alone.

aristocat · 12/05/2011 14:22

no question really, just wanted to say that i love your attitude to life Smile

frangipan · 12/05/2011 14:22

My husband reckons she'll be a doctor or an escort!

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:24

@LittleWhiteWolf

Ruby! I just wanted to say that I first saw you being bloody funny when I was a young teen and you completely inspired me. You rock and I'm still a huge fan!

My question: there's a shortage of comediennes (gah, spelling...) in the world. Whats your opinion on other women in comedy--who makes you laugh?

The reason there are so few woman is it's so humilating when it goes wrong and most women wouldn't take that abuse.Also men are scared of you and so they don't ask you out. I don't like when pretty blondes try to be funny you cannot have looks and be funny that is against the laws of God. I love Carrie Fisher she is as dark as it gets and I love dark humour.

NimpyWindowmash · 12/05/2011 14:24

Hello, I'm still here. If I don't get my question answered, how about I win the tickets?

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:25

@Katn

Hi Ruby welcome to MN Grin

Do you ever feel that you every feel like you're more British than American after all the years you've spent living here? Do you get any reactions when you go back to the US??

British

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:27

@NimpyWindowmash

Hi Ruby and welcome to mumsnet.
I am in the early stages of training as a therapist, (at Regents College btw)
How did you find the training? I wondered if the comic part of your personality comes into the therapy room or have you had to work hard to not be funny when it comes to being a therapist?

I am only funny when I am drunk or being paid. I had to do 200 hours of therapy on people but don't want to do it for a living. You have to be very giving and I only have spurts of that.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:28

@GentleOtter

I wanted to ask if Robbie Coltraine was a good snog, BIWI, but managed to avoid asking.

probably as fat people try much harder Maybe I did snog him he used to grab onto my ass and he was good at that

GentleOtter · 12/05/2011 14:29

thank you for making my day Grin

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:30

@BecauseImWorthIt

Actually I do have a serious question, if I can ask one more?

My DH suffers from sporadic bouts of a depression. We have had a major breakthrough recently, as he has at last admitted it. (It was obvious to me, as my father suffered in the same way).

But he refuses to go to the doctor about it, refusing to accept that 'chemicals' can help him.

What can I do to help, given this refusal?

Bring him straight to my show i'll get him on drugs you just wait you won't be able to get him off of them

NotShortImFunSized · 12/05/2011 14:30

How do you fancy coming to the MN meet in London? I'll pay you in Wine and you can be funny or laugh at us Wink

BecauseImWorthIt · 12/05/2011 14:31

I wish, Ruby, I wish.

MNHQ
carriemumsnet · 12/05/2011 14:31

That's all we've got time for - huge thanks to Ruby and the name out of the hat for the tickets for Losing it was SpeedyGonzalez - so congrats to her :)

ristretto · 12/05/2011 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumblingRagDoll · 12/05/2011 14:33

Dammit! I NEVER get mine answered! I really wanted to know too!

[sulk]

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:35

I'm leaving now but please ask them if I can come back to do this again , this makes you feel better than I ever have in my life especially the crack about the cheekbones and rocking. COME TO MY SHOW I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU OR GIVE YOU BRAIN STEM AND YOU'LL HAVE A FANTASTIC TIME. Bye bye.

BecauseImWorthIt · 12/05/2011 14:37

ristretto - if that's the case, all I can say is it's bloody frustrating living with it!!!

In our house, it builds and it builds. I see it starting and getting worse, and have learnt to spot the signs (excessive alcohol consumption on a regular basis is a real give away that things are coming to a head).

Then when it 'breaks', it's usually in the form of a massive argument, in which I get called all kinds of names/face all kinds of accusations. It's hugely upsetting and very draining.

So when he refuses to do anything about it, I hate him for it.

Sorry if that's brutal, and you may be completely different - but if I can't get my DH to do anything, please will you?! Grin

Sounds like Ruby's show would be really, really worth going to.