Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mumsnet webchats

WEBCHAT GUIDELINES: 1. One question per member plus one follow-up. 2. Keep your question brief. 3. Don't moan if your question doesn't get answered. 4. Do be civil/polite. 5. If one topic or question threatens to overwhelm the webchat, MNHQ will usually ask for people to stop repeating the same question or point.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

MNHQ

Live Webchat with Ruby Wax - Thursday 12th May 1.30 - 2.30 pm

110 replies

RachelMumsnet · 09/05/2011 14:19

We're delighted that Ruby Wax is joining us for a live webchat on Thursday 12th May between 1.30-2.30pm. Ruby's theatre show Losing It is currently running at Menier Chocolate Factory in London. In the show Ruby explores the ups and downs of mental illness and draws on her own experience of depression to create a show which is described as 'incredibly brave and heartbreakingly funny' (Harry Enfield). The theatre show ends with a Q&A session which gives members of the audience a chance to share their own experiences and there are weekly Forums with leading mental health experts. Ruby is a trained psychotherapist and is currently studying for a MSt in Mindfulness at Oxford University. Along with Stephen Fry, she is an ambassador for the campaign, Time To Change which was launched to coincide with a survey that found one in three people admitted they would find it hard to tell others if they had mental health problems.

Ruby moved the UK to study drama in Glasgow and worked as an actress before she turned to comedy. She has appeared on numerous TV shows including her own chat shows; 'The Full Wax' and 'Ruby Wax Presents' (remember Imelda Marcos' shoes?) She was also Script Editor for Ab Fab and is a big supporter of Comic Relief having taken part in Celebrity Fame Academy, Comic Relief does the Apprentice and Masterchef at Number 10, where earlier this year the PM enjoyed her crab salad) She also runs her own Leadership consultancy and Coaching company, Ruby Wax.

Join us on Thursday at 1pm or send a question in advance to Ruby and you'll be entered into a draw to win a pair of tickets to see 'Losing It' between now and 18th June.

OP posts:

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 13:53

We toured mental facilities for a year depressed people of which I am one were our biggest fans. This really is for the 1 in 4 people who have something mental going on. thought the other 3 in 4 really love it and let's face it really everyone has something wrong.

@ristretto

Actually,
I have a ? about the new show.

is it ok for someone suffering from depression to watch - or a bit too close to home, does that make sense?

Pagwatch · 12/05/2011 13:54

Hi ruby

History is filled with wonderful funny comedians who lived with depression.
When I had depression I tried so hard to be 'normal' in front of family and friend yet hid wailing under the duvet when no one was around.

Do you think there is any correlation - a desire to show the world your depression writ larger than life?

donnie · 12/05/2011 13:54

Ruby - thanks for answering my question - and I totally agree with you
xxx

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 13:54

@Adair

Wow, Ruby, I think you are fab.
I'd love to read your version of a self-help/therapy book. Any plans?

As a mother of small children, I feel so responsible when my children feel sad and struggle if i can't 'solve' it immediately - I do try to remember to let them have their emotions and help them manage them. In theory. Do you think this guilt is part of being a mother (parent) or do you find we can learn to let them make their own mistakes?

Yes I am writing a book on how to make your brain work for you not against you. Since we can use it so much better than we do.

I think you always feel their pain as we always feel they are extensions of ourselves. But in fact they are their own people and if they don?t build up the muscle to take what life sends them they will never survive. They won?t develop if you don?t let them try it all out for themselves the good and the bad.

MumblingRagDoll · 12/05/2011 13:54

Hi Ruby,

I'm a writer and a Mother, not long ago I encountered shocking sexism at a well known radio station....as part of the writers team and a junior one at that, I felt I had to laugh along.

But now I regret not being braver and saying something...how do you deal with this kind of situation? As a woman in comedy do you find the lines get blurred when you need to decide if something is offensive or not?

Pagwatch · 12/05/2011 13:56

Blimey
1st web chat post and I blew it

A desire to hide your depression writ large.

Ignore me. I am a twit

SpeedyGonzalez · 12/05/2011 13:56

Ooh, thought I was going to miss this! Ruby, I have a quick question: What do you know now about life that you wish you'd known 10 years ago? And if you'd known it then, what might you have done differently?

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 13:57

@BecauseImWorthIt

Welcome to the vipers' nest Mumsnet, Ruby?

to you and pretty candles who asked about David Cameron like? It's amazing you meet these powerful guys in person and they always have good skin. the was all pink and glowing like a model. In the papers he looks twatty but in person I was in love. He told me I had avocado behind my fingernails when I served him my crabs.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 13:58

@StinkysMum

Hi Ruby..
I met you a few years back when we did the BBC video on Agoraphobia. Just wanted you to know that since we made that video i made more progress in my battle with the illness. The park where we went to, i now do freely with my boyfriend and regularly take walks over there.

Thank you again for highlighting this problem,
Sarah x

You were so open about what happened to you in the past that I assumed it wouldn?t be long before you could revisit places that reminded you of early trauma?s. If you can talk about it you?re healing. I?m so glad you get out of the house it was a waste for such a great looking girl to be locked indoors.

Katn · 12/05/2011 13:58

Hi Ruby welcome to MN

Do you ever feel that you every feel like you're more British than American after all the years you've spent living here? Do you get any reactions when you go back to the US??

NotShortImFunSized · 12/05/2011 13:59

sorry Ristretto didn't see you'd already posted pretty much the same question as I did!

Ruby - "So yes I did want to learn how the brain works so I could fix mine like a car repairman"

Do you think by learning about how you (your brain) work/think then it is possible to help yourself more than or just as much as medication/GP's etc?

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 13:59

@Pagwatch

Hi ruby

Do you think there is any correlation - a desire to show the world your depression writ larger than life?

I first have to say depression has very little to do with comedians because if you think 1 in 4 people have it not that many people are funny. so that's that. Part of what makes this illness so bad is the shame that comes free with it. If you had diabetes you wouldn't be ridiculed. you have a disease it happens to be in your brain. Please come to my show and come out from the blanket.

BecauseImWorthIt · 12/05/2011 14:00

I didn't know you had crabs, Ruby. Mind you, we share all sorts on MN. Metaphorically, rather than actually, just in case you were thinking ...

StinkysMum · 12/05/2011 14:01

Thank Ruby.

Just for an example... I WENT TO LONDON on Bank Holiday Monday!!!! Had lunch with my friends near Hampstead Heath....and spent many nights camping last year too (an hour away from home and without the mother!). I think that is a vast improvement on when we met.

You were the kick up the bum that i needed to start REALLY trying to get well.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing that for me.

ristretto · 12/05/2011 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotShortImFunSized · 12/05/2011 14:02

@ BIWI

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:02

@Saltire

Ooh I love her. Never ever had a question directly answered but here goes

Ruby - I saw you on "Something for the weekend" a while ago where you talked very openly about your mental health problems, my husband turned to me and said "isn't it great that mental health problems don't have as much of a stigma as they used to" and he's right. I had very bad PND when I had my youngest child, (11 years ago)so much so that I was almost hospitalised, I think though the depression goes back to when i was 16 when my dad died. I've always wanted to try and help women with PND but there still seems to be cases where they are embarassed to tell anyone

Anyway I'm waffling, what I wanted to ask was " have you noticed an increase in people having mental health or depression, because they are more open about it, or do you think that the illness is more prevalent as it was due to modern lifestyles, and so more people mention it.?

I am of the opinion that we are predisposed to having depression, would you agree ?
Did that make sense
Loved the show with Imelda Marcos BTW

People are still embarrassed to tell people about their depression because people assume you?re making it up. They see no lumps or broken limbs so you get no pity just a cold ?perk up? from friends and family.

I think depression has always been around but even in my mother?s generation no one knew what it was so it went untreated. Even when I first had it as a kid I tried to find out what was happening when I couldn?t function for a few days every few years but everyone said it was my imagination. Way back if you were mad they burnt you at the stake so we?ve come a long way. From burning to anti-depressants now that?s progress. We are more stressed these days with the pace and the push to be successful but this doesn?t lead to depression. Depression is a disease with very specific symptoms. Stress happens because of something that happens. Depression means you suffer even though nothing in reality is making you miserable.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:02

@SpeedyGonzalez

I wish I knew that my body wasn't as bad as I thought and I should have thrown it around more instead of being so scared of men which I was. I thought I was ugly and now realize when I look at photos I wasn't. think of all the men I could have had. Of course now it would only be memories so maybe it's better I have a brain which doesn't get that old

AitchTwoOh · 12/05/2011 14:03

that Cammo pinkness is actually Hamshine. (TM MN)

frangipan · 12/05/2011 14:04

Did you ever try to find a 'reason' for your depression Ruby? I have depression and I am constantly trying to find a cause or an excuse for it even though I suspect there isn't one. xxx

ristretto · 12/05/2011 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:07

@NotShortImFunSized

sorry Ristretto didn't see you'd already posted pretty much the same question as I did!

Ruby - "So yes I did want to learn how the brain works so I could fix mine like a car repairman"

Do you think by learning about how you (your brain) work/think then it is possible to help yourself more than or just as much as medication/GP's etc?

I wouldn't prescribe medication. BUt yes I do think if you know how the mechanics work a. you feel not so alone as we all have the same defaults. we all have critical voices in our head. And yes you can self regulate lower your own adrenaline and cortisol so you don't go into burn out or depression. I do mindfulness check it out it. Your thoughts change your brain, you change your thoughts your brain changes that is science not crystal waving.

NotShortImFunSized · 12/05/2011 14:09

"Your thoughts change your brain, you change your thoughts your brain changes that is science not crystal waving."

Thank you, makes perfect sense when you put it like that

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:11

@chimchar

hi ruby...another fan here!

i suffer quietly with depression on and off. i do have a very smily outer face/mask, which bloody annoys me sometimes. i really want to tell it as it is, but just can't. anyway.....my question!

if you can feel yourself "slipping down" within yourself, or feel your mood lowering, do you have or do something that helps you in the short term?

i think its great what you're doing.

cheers!

If the pressure starts to build and I stop thinking clearly and the thoughts begin to get abusive which is an early symptom I try to go away for a few days, away from all the things that trigger my negative thinking. This helps in the early stages. When the full tsunami of depression hits it?s too late to escape.

RubyWax2792 · 12/05/2011 14:13

@ristretto

Just looked up the show again - it does look good and interesting. Might have to get myself along then . . . Pagwatch want to come?

That's great news - do bring a few pals and Judith and I will be happy to answer any of your questions after the interval during the question and answer session. Hope to see you there.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5