wedding dance thriller hell.

[shoptilidrop]

that is what i am stuck in.

An update was promised and i wasnt going to update until we had done it.

Tonight was the final practice at the venue. Hideous doesnt cover it. It was made worse by people wondering about the venue checking it out and sound and light men etc.... all standing and watching.

THEN the wedding planner woman just oh so causally asked if it was still ok fdor her to film it, post it on you tube and link it to the website.

MOther had lied and said this wasnt going to happen.

So, not only will we be embarassed in front of the whole wedding party, but also the rest of the world

fucking great mother.....

GGGGGRRRRR

I just have to say, this is bloody awful for you...but your poooooor step dad!! He really should have nipped this in the bud and I fear he may regret not doing that for a very loooooong time!

I don't think it's amusing. Anyway, sorry to bang on about this (election tv is making sure I can't settle to anything else but popping in and out of MN), but:

"they are filming it as they want a viral ad. or something."

So your mother's wedding is paying for their advertising? They are paying nothing. I'm aware that viral advertisers are trying to cut the costs of their advertising, but that is by cutting the costs of distribution, not by getting all the material for free. What absolute cheek!

I'm really sorry that I sound more outraged at the venue, when it is your mother who has put you in this situation. However, your mother has emotional leverage, and evidently can make it "not worth your while" to oppose her. However, there is no way these people - with a purely commercial relationship to this event - are entitled to take what the f--- they like. That is adding injury to the insult your mother is dishing out.

You feel angry and trapped by your mother's idee fixe. Why not take out some of your frustration on these cheeky venue buggers? It might make you feel better, at least. Are there any underage people in your dance troupe? If so, target that angle as well. Also go for the "bundling the cameraman" approach (and don't forget the wedding photographer, either!)

Good luck! Very sorry you feel laughed at from all sides.

Signature move?

You could just say, well my actual bloody signature has already been criticised enough THANK YOU VERY BLOODY MUCH.

You are being very funny BTW, glad to see you're holding fast to your SOH.

Good luck.

There is a way out of this: just say no. Fold your arms, plant your feet and refuse. She can't make you do anything, and if she gets all dramarama you can just point out (again and again) that she is being utterly ridiculous.

I don't get why you can't just say no.

there is no ' just say no' when it comes to my mother.

you dont know her

sense of humour.... im fucking hysterical. its bloody funny. i just wish it wasnt happening to me.

' signature move'

honestly

I do feel sorry for you sorry I laughed.

You are right though when I am drunk its like I am in Fame I am a maniac on the dance floor. I can't dance sober because then I would be aware that I'm shit.

I would do what everyone else has said go missing when its time then pretend you were so drunk you forgot all about it.

Failing that, get so drunk that you don't give a shit and channel Michael Jackson. You know you can. You will be moonwalking and everything.! You will be the best Michael Jackson ever.

But what will happen if you do say no?

Sorry for being persistently nosy, but my mum is dead and my dad is under-involved in my life, so I have no idea what it's like to have a pushy parent

and then me channeling michael jackson will be forever on you tube,

i dont care about making a tit of myself in front of family. im not that fussed about having to do it in front of lots of poeple. heck, ive done worse.

what i do mind its that it will be on the bloodu internet. forever.

Ahem, shop, you have the perfect chance for revenge on the wedding planner. Just pop the seed in your Mum's mind that the wedding planner has been really innovative etc etc and that she should have the 'honour' of performing the dance with the family, as, of course, she has become part of the family over the past few weeks/months etc. If you can lay it on thick and convince your mum that it is the perfect way to involve her , I bet that would put paid to the youtube plan forever [evil cackle]

Oooh, what a good idea, thederkinsdame! I'm afraid shoptilidrop has been ignoring my attacks on this idiot wedding planner, but it seems what my attack needed was a devious ally like you! Mwah.

Actually there is a legal objection here. In order to perform this song and dance to it you need:

(1) PRS permission and a permit
(2) A local authority permit to dance
(3) Disclaimers from the participants if it is to be used for advertising.

Tell the wedding planner to stand in for you if she's so fricking keen.

Can you imagine her face Because she'll have to do whatever the bride wants, of course!

Shop I feel for you I really do. But WingedVictory and Whomoved speak sense. You can't change your mother, but you need to deal with the wedding planner and venue re filming. They cannot film and then circulate as free publicity without your permission. Talk to the venue dropping in phrases like "data protection" "music copyright" "privacy issues".

For the actual dance, I agree with the person who said that those who are trying actually come off better than those who are half-arsing and cringing. Also, not those who are staggeringly (literally) drunk.

Good luck.

You could either get your DH/DP/Large headed relative to strategically position themself directly in front to the camera lens at the required moment, then develop deafness.

Or you could prepare a big sign that says "I did not agree to have this filmed. Help, save me my mother is a bridezilla" then just stand stock still on the dance floor holding it during the "dance".

Or you could simply not do it. Feign ignorance of the whole thing. What will happen when they start the music if you just look the other way? Plan a last minute mutiny? Hide the music? Pull the plug from the sound system?

Nothing else for it other than to get ridiculously drunk.

ROFL at 'I was michael jackson for you' She cannot possibly go one better than that

Sorry Shop it sounds so awful for you.. but I have never laughed so hard. When you said you got to be Michael.. okay I am laughing again as I type.

If it makes you feel any better, my brother had to be in a wedding dance and the Bridezilla ordered confetti so part of his routine was prop based - he had to get a broom and sweep up the confetti, all in a choreographed, 'faux casual' style. Think "Singing in the Rain" with broom instead of umbrella.

I also had to do a Dirty Dancing number but as I am a crap dancer, was given the move that Baby does when she freaks out during the dance recital. So had to stand to one side doing that hand twirl thing. I looked like a fecking tool. It was also filmed and the footage is of me gurning inanely.

Hope it goes okay for you and that knowing others have also had to sacrifice their dignity on the altar of Bridzilla might make you feel a bit better.

Mum: No I cannot babysit for you, I've just got married and that is more important than you going out drowning your sorrows about your new-found You Tube fame and nursing your bleeding ears whilst reclaiming your signatory identity

Shop: I was Michael Jackson for you...

Yes, yes, the campaign against the wedding planner gathers steam!

(Although, whomovedmychocolate, they probably do have a PRS license, being a venue licensed in other ways. Still, the disclaimers are absolutely key. Don't let them get away with extending your mother's tyranny, and certainly don't give them free advertising. Say if they want to use it, they need to pay through the nose. Make it not worth their while, as your mother has made it not worth your while to refuse her.

It?s close to midnight and bridezilla is lurking in the dark
On the dance floor you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to run but the wedding planner stops you just before you make it
You start to freeze the as a camera hits you right between the eyes, your paralysed

Now you?re on utube and the world is witness to your shame
Mummy hopes you enjoy your 15 minutes of fame
Now you?re on utube and the world is witness to your shame
Mummy hopes you enjoy your 15 minutes of fame

Whoo hoo Shamon?.

right, here is FPT's plan!

1/ go to nearest Boots, buy a bandage and one of those cold packs for icing injuries.

2/ pop said bandage on your ankle and ice pack in freezer ready for show use if DM pops round.

3/ brief all DC's and DP that you have hurt your ankle (to avoid your Mum finding out the truth)

4/ call your Mum, tell her you've fallen on the stairs, you've been advised to keep weight off it but not to worry, it'll be fine in about a week and you will still be able to come to the wedding but need to not stand for long, you should be able to do the reading and if it's really bad you're sure your Dsis will let you lean on her for that, but there is no way you can do the dance. What a shame.

5/ tell DSis you're not doing the dance because of bad ankle do not tell anyone you're faking - someone will have too much to drink and tell your mum. Tell DSis if she thinks 6 people doing it are too few she should talk to your DM herself about cancelling.

6/ acquire a stylish walking stick for effect

7/ sit back and enjoy watching everyone else make a fool of themselves.

Job done.

Re getting your ears pierced, just don't. if she treats you to earrings, ask for the receipt when she's back from honeymoon to change them for something you can use.

of course, read the others posts now, addition to the plan!!!

8/ suggest to your mum that the wedding planner takes your place so it can still go ahead!!!!

My weddng photographer uses my piccies in their literature. I'm not sure I've ever been asked, but I'm rather chuffed. I think there is a presumption that it will be ok. Don't they own their own copyright?

Nice work somebodysfool

I fear it may be too late, I think she's gone off into the quagmire, we couldn't save her this time. MN has failed. This is a first.

The venue will HAVE to get signed release forms from you all to film something (assuming they are all above board). So, don't sign the release, they can't film it, it can't go near the Internet (Film Production student so have to get these things myself).

But FakePlasticTrees, all the other Unfortunate Six will be trying this sort of thing, so if poor shoptilidrop doesn't succeed first, she could be left on her own with Bridezilla and the groom on the dancefloor! Far better to go for a blanket approach, which everyone will benefit from. Shoptilidrop may have been "betrayed" by her mother in this, but that is no reason to betray all the other Unfortunates!

(And as someone said upthread, think of the groom as well! If he is spared YouTube embarassment through the actions of his new family, he may be a good ally for the future once Bridezilla becomes just Mumzilla again).