Eating in the supermarket

[tallulah]

As an aside from my other thread about children misbehaving in shops- the other thing that wound me up yesterday is this trend for letting children eat in the supermarket. The child in the trolley at the next till had a bag of grapes she'd been eating. She must have had 1/2 lb, so that's about 50p? Would her mother have thought it OK to give her, say, a twix, or a Begian Bun without paying for it?

I don't agree with this on 3 counts

1. people shouldn't be eating in any shop & teaching a child that they can is not a good idea
2. this is theft & if everyone did it then the supermarkets losses would be passed on to everyone
3. children also should be taught that you can't have something until it's paid for.

Before you all jump on me and say it's better than having them screaming, I have got 4 myself & I have been through this. Mine quickly learned that no screaming inside meant they could get to eat a treat outside when we'd finished.

oh m2t i`m sure is a plot from mumsnet to keep us troublemakers apart

Rosiemum, do you eat in restaurants and then pay the bill afterwards or is that morally wrong too? Or is it theft, or rude, or immoral or any other of the very loaded words people are using here. You see, we do have rules with our kids. Just different rules to yours. I actually happen to think your rules are daft, but hey, that's totally your choice. And frankly, I doubt very, very much that your kids are nicer/more moral/more polite and less likely to mug their teachers than mine. As for the idea that eating french sticks in the supermarket is just one step away from hotwiring cars and mugging old ladies... how utterly bizarre.

Oh, God, a controversial mumsnet debate. Why do I let myself be sucked in....whirlpool....vortex...black hole...

Doormat, lol at your spit-n-wipe memories. What's with the CZJ reference? I didn't get that one, sorry!

Aloha, it's good to see you back!!

well said aloha
can`t wait for thursday
HEADS WILL ROLL!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

sue, one of the reasons that CZJ sued Hello! for unauthourized pictures is that there was one of her eating her wedding cake, which she claimed was one of the most unflattering things that you can show a bride doing and caused grande distress.

the opposite to anthea turner then

IMHO in a shop the goods don't belong to you until you've paid for them - and I believe this is the legal status of items in your supermarket trolley - therefore if they don't belong to you, you, or your kids, shouldn't be consuming them.

This legality is how supermarkets cope with minors and alcohol and certain drugs - the point of sale, and point of transfer of ownership is the till.

I agree we all have the right to an opinion - and others have the right to parent their children as they see fit. And I'm not asserting that a child allowed to eat from a trolley will become a teacher-mugger! Just that unless you instill in your kids the idea that they can't always have what they want, when they want it, and that certain boundries must not be crossed, how do you expect them to cope when a teacher asks for quiet in the classroom so s/he can teach? Or abide by a 'no eating, drinking or gum' rule in a lab, which is there for health and safety reasons?

I LOVE this thread! Who needs Gina Ford when you've got eating in supermarkets?

Thanks for that explanation, Pie, and lol at the Anthea Turner comment, Whymummy. I'm obviously missing an awful lot of important news while I'm out of the country. The Jakarta Post didn't mention the CZJ episode once!!

My DH doesnt mind either and he should know. he says that even if he didn't like someone eating (which he doesn't) then he would be powerless to do anything until then walked out the door.

As a parent I believe I have a moral obligation to teach my children right from wrong. It does worry me how many parents over look this view, and think oh well we can get away with a few grapes.

As a business woman, I can only add my humble viewpoint which is that the supermarkets do of course pass this loss onto us, in the form of inflated prices.

But I also know that children get bored, and the supermarket is no place for them, it is dull and boring. So I understand why parents will do anything to keep them quiet, and happy.

I can see what you're saying rosie and sort of agree with you about emphasising the small rules to make the big one stick. But I think confusion is arising because everyone is talking about different ages of children. I mean, an under 2 year old won't have much of an idea about paying for things - you're lucky if they are understanding the concept of sharing. If the odd grape helps them through the aisles, and you pay for it at the end, then what's the problem? Lots of the pro grape eating people have very young children so are probalby looking at things from this angle.

I would not encourage my 9 year old eat grapes before we had paid for them, just for the reasons you state and also the fact that he is not likely to throw a tantrum because he is hungry. My 3 year old I would give grapes to, if he really wanted them, though I would be beginning to tell him about paying for things first and getting him to wait till we get to the cash desk. As it happens neither of my sons ask for food in the supermarket - too many other distractions there for them.

Also for the record, when my ds is eating crisps, he will quite happily hand the bad over to be scanned then get given them back. I will continue doing this (anything for a quiet shop) and do not believe for one moment that he will turn into a thief because of it.

Anyway look at it this way, better the children eat the grapes than drink the alcoholic byproduct.

beetroot, your mantra 'grape, grape grape, eat eat eat' made me laugh!

i let my children eat in the supermarket and always pay,we dont do grapes only because my ds nearly choked on one(at home)his teacher told me last month that he is the most obedient and polite kid shes seen for a long time,now,i cant be that horrible of a parent,cant i?i don`t see how eating in a supermarket can lead to disruptive pupils

Rosiesmum, you know, actually it is possible to have all those 'rules' - but still give your kids food in the supermarket. Amazing, but true! A lab isn't a supermarket. A classroom isn't a supermarket. saying that if you let your kids eat in the supermarket they'll do it everywhere is like saying, unless you insist your children go round the supermarket in silence they'll never know not to talk in the classroom or the cinema. It's daft. Different circumstances, different rules. Even little kids understand that. And the supermarkets don't mind. They are delighted you are buying food from them and don't - or certainly don't seem to - give a stuff how and where you eat it. Before, during or after shopping it's all the same to them. Surely for something to be immoral/wrong it has to cause harm to someone...? At least, that's what I teach my kids. I'm sure your children are enchanting. But so are mine. Oh, no...four posts on one thread. This is what has got me into so much trouble before.

are you sure it's only four, aloha?

welcome back, anyway. Once a mumsnetter always a mumsnetter.

Actually, in encouraging my kids to eat in the supermarket, I am merely carrying on an honourable family tradition. I eat in supermarkets too. Have done all my life. Like my mother before me. We've probably consumed our joint weights in french sticks over the years. But we're really quite moral people who never throw litter on the floor/park in parent& child spaces without a baby with us/talk on our mobile phones in the cinema or hotwire cars. Honest.

I just love the mental image of a toddler in his supermarket trolley with a grape in one hand and a widescreen telly in the other.

Bloody Fagin

right just been down the local Sainsburys and scouted out the best entrance to make my attack.

Busily sewing my grape costume as I type....

katierocket - you'll just be mistaken for a giant haemmorhoid........!!!

Katierocket, can you make me one? I've always wanted a grapesuit.