To not keep a flipping ‘gratitude journal’

[Eastie77Returns]

New manager at work, from the US if that’s relevant, declared a few weeks back that she thought it would a great idea for the team to start keeping a gratitude journal. Not my cup of tea at all but I was wasn’t bothered as it was optional. Then journals arrived at our home addresses in the post, she’d ordered them for everyone

On our weekly team meetings she started asking volunteers to read journal entries aloud. When no-one volunteered, she picked people. A few colleagues ‘read’ clearly made up on the spot entries. When it was my turn I just said I’m not keeping the journal. I’m grateful for many things but I don’t write them down. She didn’t look happy and I’ve heard I’m now on her shit list for not being a team player or something. WIBU??!

[JennyForeigner]

I'm grateful for 160 years of employment rights legislation, designed to protect my health and dignity at work, and for a functioning state, where employers can't expect me to engage in performative affirmation rituals designed to keep me in my place.

Also for cheese. Love cheese.

[tigger1001]

@Porcupineintherough

The point is that your manager has asked you to do it . Presumably they think it will help with morale or team building or some such. Quite possibly it wont. I feel like that about team meetings. But as long as they are paying you for your time you just get on with it. It's hardly onerous, it's what? I minute a day thinking of something to say? Usually with stuff like this it gets quietly dropped after a few weeks. And who knows, maybe it will be helpful for someone.

Strongly disagree.

They pay you to do a job. They do not pay you to be grateful. They are not entitled to your thoughts - even in working hours.

You don't have to be grateful. Some people who are suffering from depression could really struggle with this and make them worse. Imagine you are suffering from depression and everyone else is talking about "how grateful they are for...." and all you can think is you don't have anything to be grateful for. How damaging that can be.

This type of thing should only be done by trained people, not as some kind of ill conceived morale boost exercise.

[Justilou1]

@garlictwist - you’re my kinda girl. When my mother was guilt-tripped by her batshit mum into making me have my “First Holy Communion” in the mini bride dress (how utterly sick is that???), I also had to go to confession first. I rolled my eyes at the priest and said that I thought it was stupid as I was only eight. I hadn’t murdered anyone, I hadn’t stolen anything or cheated on anyone and my neighbours definitely didn’t have any donkeys for me to covet - which I absolutely would do, because donkeys are adorable. What kind of hard-hearted fool wouldn’t cover a donkey? The guy was a million years old and his eyes widened in fear so he told me to do some token “Hail Mary’s”. He shooed me away in terror when I asked how come she was allowed to have fruit in her room, and I wasn’t.

[Oblomov22]

This would piss me off. American nonsense. Although I did like the link earlier of 48 unusual things to be grateful for.

[Knittingchamp]

She's literally the manager from the Office. Making you write in a gratitude journal then forcing you to read it out publicly is the stuff of dark comedy. Sorry OP she's a loon. I'd complain to HR if it were me, that's such a weird and intrusive management style that she has. Well done for telling her no!

[diamondpony80]

Gratitude journals are supposed to be a personal thing. I like the idea of journaling as it helps me to get things out of my head and down on paper. Sometimes I write down the things I'm grateful for.

Not in a million years though would I do it because I was instructed to by a manager. And I certainly wouldn't be sharing my journal entries out loud with my colleagues. That's just taking the piss and has zero value.

[babyjellyfish]

@Eastie77Returns

Thank you all…these replies have made me .

I work for a huge tech company. There has been a big focus on mental health and managers have apparently been told to prioritise anything that helps their teams well-being. This is her idea. Each weeks she reads her journal (it is always something cringe) and asks if anyone wants to share. Most people have their cameras off and no-one ever volunteers so she has now just started picking people. I will be on her shit list forever if I don’t have something this week so I’m printing this thread for inspiration

I think I would say that being expected to keep a gratitude journal is a source of stress for you because (a) it's an extra thing to do at the end of a long day which isn't in your job description, and (b) most of the things you are grateful for are in your personal life and you prefer to keep your personal life and your work separate, and so the whole gratitude journal thing is actually having a negative impact on your mental wellbeing.

[StrangerYears]

You could say

it gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing when I feed the pigeons, and I sometimes feed the sparrows too


(sorry Blur)

[HettySunshine]

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Best post ever!

[Franklyfrost]

I’d do pets. Never too outrageous but each time a new animal.

I’m grateful my pet iguana is feeling better now he has a new sunlight.
I’m grateful my tortoise has come out of hibernation safely.
I’m grateful my dog was returned safety after he ran off.
I’m grateful my parrot didn’t scratch me when I trimmed his claws
I’m grateful my fish keep me company at night
Etc

[Smallkeys]

That’s so American DH got one ahead of a zoom meeting from the American bosses it went in the bin but at least he wasn’t asked to read entries out loud. Read the room woman!!

[ClariceQuiff]

I would be tempted to say that I unfortunately found nothing to be grateful for over the preceding week, because my life is really shit.

[UserBotLurking9to5]

Being told to be grateful by a company that is underpaying you (eg) would be really annoying.

[declutteringmymind]

Tell her that your therapist said that this is the wrong time in your return to wellness and spiritual enlightenment journey.

[RhiWrites]

@NeverDropYourMooncup I remember all of those but imaging OP saying (or singing!) she’s grateful for those in peril on the sea made me genuinely lol.

[grapewine]

@Gynaesaur

I'm grateful that somebody has unilaterally decided that showing the slightest amount of backbone to pointless workplace wankery precludes you from living in the real world.

Me too. It totally would be a hill to die on for me. Utterly pointless and invasive.

[User237845]

@Bullandbush

I’m grateful for root beer and sasparilla, grits and yams and the good old jumbo jet that brought our new manager safely across the Atlantic. Amen. Alleluia

Properly laughed out loud.

[GeorgiaMcGraw]

I'd go with one of two options. Either, "I am grateful for the word 'no'." Or, "I am grateful for the excellent hospital staff in this country. I am grateful for Marie's speedy recovery. I am grateful for that broken cctv. I am grateful for the lack of hard evidence. I am grateful that she knows what I'm capable of now." Something like that, nice and deadpan.

[sillysmiles]

@dementedmummy

Ok so this is a mind set thing (although i think she has gone about it all wrong and had the opposite effect!) you are supposed to write down 3 things you are grateful for every evening. It can be anything at all like "i was grateful i had the opportunity to wake up this morning" or "i was grateful the professionals are back in charge of my children's education now that lockdown has ended" or "i was grateful i got to go on y course because i really enjoyed it" or "i was grateful Katie brought in cream buns today as i was feeling hungry" Really anything at all big or small that you can be grateful for. The effect is supposed to be that you retrain your mind to focus on the positives rather than negatives in your life. This should in turn create a happier and more resilient you because although rubbish things may happen you are still finding the positives so it means you shouldn't sink into a funk if that makes sense. However, and its a big however, what you choose to be grateful for is entirely up to you and you should not be forced to share what you are grateful for. Its your life. Its your journey. If you want to share great but absolutely should not be force otherwise you have the situation you have here whereby you now resent your manager and she is turn seems to have a misplaced sense of where your team spirit is. Perhaps just thank her for the journal and for thinking of you but let her know you are not comfortable sharing what you are grateful for with the team as you are a private person. Good luck x
Ps if you can treat her exercises as a bit of fun or an excuse to be a little bit silly for a while, you might find you enjoy some of it. Wait until you have to write a letter to your future self!! Believe me, come back gratitude journal, all is forgiven! 😂

I think everyone understands what a gratitude journal is and it's purpose.

However, it's inappropriate for work to send you one without you requesting to opt in and it's really inappropriate for the manager to feel like she has any rights to discuss it at team meetings.

[DogsAndGin]

@Brefugee

In Germany she'd be in the poop for sending it to your home address without asking if she could have your home address for a one off thing.

You could do like Harry and Ron in the divination classes and make up increasingly batshit entries? That's what I'd do

She’s in the shit for this by UK law too! Why would she need to know your address? She doesn’t have a copy of it. She sourced it from your files - which should be confidential. You haven’t supplied your address for any other reason than receiving your pay slip/official communication. She can naff off! Bloody gratitude journey. I’d write in there, ‘I’m grateful for my privacy!’

[Migrainesbythedozen]

@Eastie77Returns

Thank you all…these replies have made me .

I work for a huge tech company. There has been a big focus on mental health and managers have apparently been told to prioritise anything that helps their teams well-being. This is her idea. Each weeks she reads her journal (it is always something cringe) and asks if anyone wants to share. Most people have their cameras off and no-one ever volunteers so she has now just started picking people. I will be on her shit list forever if I don’t have something this week so I’m printing this thread for inspiration

Why don't you refuse to do it? Just say you find it silly and insulting, and it's not part of your job.

She will soon get bored and give up if no one volunteers and others follow your lead refuse to be part of it. She will have no choice but to drop it.

[luckylavender]

I think you should have told her before the meeting.

[cansu]

MissM2912
It is not for a manager to impose things they themselves like the idea of unless these are actual work tasks. The fact that you think it is lovely is beside the point. Many people have difficult lives outside of work and really don't want to make up random things to make their managers feel better. It won't help them at all.

[HopeMumsnet]

Hi all,
We are grateful to those MNers who nommed this for Classics...

[RedToothBrush]

I am grateful for my privacy, keeping my work and home life separate and not having to explain my feelings to my employer which represents a gross conflict of interests. I am grateful we have an HR department we can go to if our manager over steps the mark. I am grateful for being British so we aren't into psychobabble at work.

And boom.