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Original poster

How the other half lives, what and when you learned

999 replies

tomorrowalready · 23/07/2021 19:36

Reflecting from another thread made me realise it was not until my 20s I found out some people expected to have a private bathroom. I went to university then and shared with another mature student who had been married, divorced and said she found having to share a bathroom with unrelated people unpleasant. I had always taken it for granted as had live in jobs and rented bedsits before. She was a lovely person and also the first person I knew who had a glass of wine every evening and she introduced me to many new things - cooking with garlic, sherry, owning and using a car for shopping for example.

So what did you take for granted that surprised other people you met?

OP posts:
UserAtLarge · 25/07/2021 12:55

I was at university with someone who asked why I was getting the coach home at the end of term and not driving. When I explained I didn't have a car, I could see him genuinely struggling with the idea that someone might not be able to afford one.

korawick12345 · 25/07/2021 12:55

@Gwenhwyfar

"And no system can be completely ‘fair’, some parents are poor parents, some people have worse physical health, some people are more intelligent some are less intelligent, some are lazy some are motivated! There is no way an educational system can flatten those differed out."

Not entirely, no, but some systems are obviously better than others. Selective schools increase inequality.

In your opinion. IMO comprehensive schools reduce opportunity significantly for the academically able.
Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 12:57

"The answer was to put decent merit-based vocational training of the same standing on an equal footing, like in Germany. "

I did the OU with a German woman who was getting her degree in her forties because the German system had put her in a school for a particular job at the young age of 13.

HaveringWavering · 25/07/2021 12:58

My Mum would be delighted to know you like it @irresistibleoverwhelm! She's been dead 8 years but I still see her values in the way I live my life. The first time she came to visit me in London we went to my local supermarket and she was horrified that I didn't know where the "reduced for quick sale" shelf was.

RampantIvy · 25/07/2021 12:59

There is no way an educational system can flatten those differed out."

If education was better funded it would go a long way towards this.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:00

@Blossomtoes

I really don’t care what any study says. I was a grammar school pupil in the 60s. I’ve seen what some of my contemporaries from very poor backgrounds achieved. What’s the way out of poverty for bright kids now?
Well, you're not a great advert for grammar schools if you disregard a study in favour of generalising your own personal experience.
korawick12345 · 25/07/2021 13:00

@Gwenhwyfar

"The answer was to put decent merit-based vocational training of the same standing on an equal footing, like in Germany. "

I did the OU with a German woman who was getting her degree in her forties because the German system had put her in a school for a particular job at the young age of 13.

So she was demonstrating that learning is a lifelong process and that you are not forever tied by what happened in your teenage years.
Blossomtoes · 25/07/2021 13:01

IMO comprehensive schools reduce opportunity significantly for the academically able

I completely agree, hence that appalling comment about being sceptical about someone from an impoverished background going to university.

korawick12345 · 25/07/2021 13:01

@RampantIvy

There is no way an educational system can flatten those differed out."

If education was better funded it would go a long way towards this.

It would, but no amount of funding makes up for the fact that some children of all classes come from homes that value education and support their children and some don’t
RampantIvy · 25/07/2021 13:02

It would, but no amount of funding makes up for the fact that some children of all classes come from homes that value education and support their children and some don’t

Sadly, you are right.

EspressoDoubleShot · 25/07/2021 13:05

Going grocery shopping with mate and me saying let’s look for the yellow sticker stuff.They didn’t know what the yellow sticker items were
After 7 the supermarket reduced bread to half price.
I still buy the yellow sticker items when I can. Bargaintastic

turbonerd · 25/07/2021 13:08

It is funny to me, from a social-democracy country, that in the discussion here the only way out of poverty would be to go to a grammar school.
It would be viable to narrowing the gap by increased tax on the very rich and increased wages for the very poor.
Equality, if you like.
As covid demonstrated for the hard of hearing at the back: even menial Jobs are valuable, even crucial, to society.

Mischance · 25/07/2021 13:08

When I was young I had a friend whose Dad was a headmaster and rich by our standards - I benefitted lots from this as they use to take me to London shows to keep their DD company!

However ..... my Mum saved up for some (then trendy) melamine plates and cups etc. in different colours and was very pleased with them. My friend came to tea and said: "Oh yes - we have got these in our caravan!" That went down a storm!

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:09

"All true, but these are not things that the State can compensate for."

Homework clubs, local libraries...

korawick12345 · 25/07/2021 13:10

@turbonerd

It is funny to me, from a social-democracy country, that in the discussion here the only way out of poverty would be to go to a grammar school. It would be viable to narrowing the gap by increased tax on the very rich and increased wages for the very poor. Equality, if you like. As covid demonstrated for the hard of hearing at the back: even menial Jobs are valuable, even crucial, to society.
Socialism has never really caught on in England in case you haven’t noticed 😉. I wouldn’t want to comment on Wales, Scotland and NI😊
cakeseeker · 25/07/2021 13:10

Thank you @cariadlet! Smile

Blossomtoes · 25/07/2021 13:10

@turbonerd

It is funny to me, from a social-democracy country, that in the discussion here the only way out of poverty would be to go to a grammar school. It would be viable to narrowing the gap by increased tax on the very rich and increased wages for the very poor. Equality, if you like. As covid demonstrated for the hard of hearing at the back: even menial Jobs are valuable, even crucial, to society.
Couldn’t agree more. Just wait for the appalled gasps about communism now!
Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:11

@Iwastheparanoidex

I had my brother’s clothes. 😳
Probably easier for a girl to have her brother's clothes than the other way around!
Iwastheparanoidex · 25/07/2021 13:12

😁 true @Gwenhwyfar

korawick12345 · 25/07/2021 13:14

@Gwenhwyfar

"All true, but these are not things that the State can compensate for."

Homework clubs, local libraries...

Are irrelevant if the family background means that these things are not valued and accessed. Like sure start centres which were meant to level things up but in many cases became a free children’s activity centre for the MC whilst the non engaged families carried on as they were!

But agree that access to libraries is hugely important for engaged but resource poor families. In fact exact Beth type of families that accessed grammar schools.

The long and short of it is if you are in a home where there is no money and no interest in education the path out will be very difficult under any system.

If you are in a home with engagement in education but no money then IMO the grammar system offered better opportunities than the comprehensive system.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:14

@EmmaGrundyForPM

I know this isn't class related, but I can't get over people using taxis. I just think of them as a huge extravagance even though we could afford them. A taxi from ours into town is £25, so a round trip for an evening out is £50. I just cannot bring myself to pay that sort of money and am amazed when friends talk of getting a taxi as though its an everyday thing.
But why would you use it in both directions? You'd get the bus in and a taxi home if it's too late for the bus. Now I'm over 40 none of my friends will stay out later than the public transport so I don't need taxis any more, but I definitely used them in my youth. I lived in the city so it wasn't £25.
melonhead · 25/07/2021 13:16

I grew up quite wealthy and didn't realise until I moved to London after university. I was walking through a tube station with a friend and a chap sitting on the floor had a brown paper bag to his mouth. I said to my friend, ' careful, he's going to pop that in a minute', thinking he was blowing it up like an empty bag of crisps like I'd seen the naughty boys at school do...

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:16

"TBF gwenyfhar I'd imagine everyone to know what a point to point was."

Clearly not!
Thanks to Cariad for her explanation. I come from a semi-rural area and know someone who used to hunt, but they never mentioned this.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:18

"Selective schools increase inequality.

In your opinion. "

Not just in my opinion, but backed up by research.

Gwenhwyfar · 25/07/2021 13:20

"So she was demonstrating that learning is a lifelong process and that you are not forever tied by what happened in your teenage years."

She was demonstrating that she'd been put into a certain career path much too young and lost the opportunity to go to university at 18.