Best parenting tip you ever got?

[giantwaterbottle]

Obviously I'm not being unreasonable to ask 🤷‍♀️

Mine was from some friends who had older kids.
Always double the sheets/plastic sheet in baby/toddler bed.

It's saved us in the middle of the night on countless occasions.

@CommanderBurnham

Don't do anything for your child that they can do themselves.

I learnt this a few weeks ago and it's a revelation. DS (11) is making his own packed lunches!

@CommanderBurnham

mine start that 7, when they go to y3!😄

[quote Adifferentstory2]@bendmeoverbackwards I don’t know why but that made me teary (and I’m not prone to tears). So so so important. How lovely of your mum and what a lovely way to remember your childhood. I’ve gone with the harder line but will remember this in the future. I try to be ‘kinder than necessary’ but realise I’m probably not always living that mantra. My mum is the kindest soul to have walked this earth and I will always love and appreciate her so much for it. 🥺

@Bouledeneige I always always introduce myself as ‘a different story, xyz’s mum’ not just ‘xyz’s mum’. Every, single, time I have to do it - every call to nursery, school, to every other parent I meet. And it works. People say ‘hi a different story’ not just ‘hi’.[/quote]
Thank you @Adifferentstory2 I think sometimes we get so obsessed with making our dc resilient, independent, responsible for their actions etc we forget that we human beings always help each other out. All the independence stuff will come in time. Don't get me wrong, my mum wasn't perfect and in later years we had some rocky times. She passed away last year and I remember the happy times of her making me alternative meals when I didn't like the dinner or going out of her way to pick me up or bring in a forgotten item to school.

"As long as they're rowing in the right direction, I wouldn't worry too much if they drop the oars once in a while."

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Well done 👏🏽 🏅

The best tip I ever got was over 16 years ago from one of my mums longest friends, when I had my eldest son. She said, ‘ When you have a baby, everyone is ready to give you advice. Listen, but do it your own way’. I have followed that ever since and it served me well!

Don't bother trying to be the best mother - there are few thanks and no rewards no matter what you do so dial it back and be just about adequate - and keep a life and identity of your own separate from your kids - you will have to have these one day so may as well not give them up at all

Whatever he's doing that's infuriating you, in six weeks it'll be something different. Maybe better, maybe worse, but different.

Ages and stages and 'this too will pass' for me. Also remember that it's potty timing as well as potty training. If it's obvious your child isn't ready then give up! I did this twice and trained them both easily 3 months later.

@Backhills

Your definition of what constitutes a clean shirt will change.

At the time, I was horrified "my standards won't change"

My best parenting advice is get DC into a routine of stripping their own beds early. Mine started at about 5yo when they were still keen to help. As a result I have never handled a teenage boys' bedding. One of the few things I am certain I got right

Absolutely agree, I have 3 teenage boys and I have never stripped their beds.

I'd also be sceptical unless there was another witness (NOT his mum) to him being as angelic as he now remembers it. So many adults are convinced they were impeccably behaved as children - most children believe themselves to be reasonable, undemanding and believe themselves to be living under the yoke of a strict regime - it doesn't make it true! It particularly makes me laugh when adults look at a toddler misbehaving and say 'I wouldn't have got away with that ' - you don't remember! You're thinking of being taken out for a meal aged 10, not aged 2, and hopefully you were indeed a bit better behaved than a toddler by then

@Hardbackwriter

Absolutely agree!

Parent for their future not your past.

Keep a noisy house.
Don't get everyone to tiptoe around, whispering, when the baby is asleep, or the drop of a pin will wake them.
Out two slept through vacuum cleaner noise, TV on, radio on, thunderstorms etc.

Try only to say no if you really have to.
Positive parenting, praise the good behaviour

@SecretKeeper1

Don’t make baths essential to the bed time routine, so if you have to miss one it’s no biggie.

This

Don't martyr yourself - a happy parent makes a happy child.

Sacrifice the great for the good - the ideal might be attachment parenting, handmade organic baby food, and reusable cloth nappies, but if it's not working and the stress is doing more harm than good then adapt to the reality.

The really exhausting newborn period really doesn't last very long - it feels like forever when you're going through it but then suddenly you catch your breath and realise you feel like a human again.

@Cornettoninja

Get a decent sellotape dispenser. It comes into its own a couple of times a year…

I got a proper sellotape dispenser that was recommended on the mumsnet Christmas bargains thread a few years ago, think it was about £8 and it honestly makes wrapping so much easier it’s one of the best things I’ve ever bought. Plus it weighs a tonne so I could smash a burglar over the head with it in a pinch

@simiisme

Keep a noisy house. Don't get everyone to tiptoe around, whispering, when the baby is asleep, or the drop of a pin will wake them. Out two slept through vacuum cleaner noise, TV on, radio on, thunderstorms etc.

I guess you missed the posts about trying this and it not working for everyone?

My one piece of advice is this: baby’s cries are biologically designed to drive you mental. Pretty much everyone will reach breaking point at some point and want to punt baby out of a window, it does not make you a bad parent at all. Put them down somewhere safe, go to the furthest end of the house and sit down and have a cup of tea and breathe for 10 minutes. It won’t do them any harm and it will make all the difference to your sanity

@Fivetimes

The best parenting tip I ever got was don't have kids. My unborn children are eternally grateful that they have never known death, sickness, poverty, or sadness.

Or happiness and joy

My elder son was in his first pair of hard-soled shoes, and stomped on my bare foot. Tears came to my eyes, and my grandmother said, "Honey, today he stepped on your foot. In 16 years, he'll step on your heart. You will survive both. You've got this." She was right. About it all.

"This too shall pass".

I repeat this to myself when my child is in an annoying phase e.g obsessed with the bathroom bin/toilet brush/not sleeping through the night/wants to watch wheels on the bus on repeat for MONTHS/throws his water cup on the floor at every meal/screams the whole car journey every time we get in the car/does everything in his power not to have his nappy changed including kicking and biting.

It all passes and on to the next challenging phase! They are all difficult but sometimes a refresh makes them bareably for a couple of weeks!

@riotlady

My one piece of advice is this: baby’s cries are biologically designed to drive you mental. Pretty much everyone will reach breaking point at some point and want to punt baby out of a window, it does not make you a bad parent at all. Put them down somewhere safe, go to the furthest end of the house and sit down and have a cup of tea and breathe for 10 minutes. It won’t do them any harm and it will make all the difference to your sanity

My midwife told me the same thing, including the punting out the window - i wonder if we have that in common?

It also happens that just when they've pushed you almost over the edge, they smile for the first time or something and you think the window punting can be saved for another day.

Honestly I am now wondering how I've managed to get my two completely unscathed to adulthood!

Love the child you have, not the one you might wish you had.

A fed baby is best, no one will give a shit when they are 18 if you breastfed or bottle fed!

Daily goals:

All fed, none dead.