Best parenting tip you ever got?

[giantwaterbottle]

Obviously I'm not being unreasonable to ask 🤷‍♀️

Mine was from some friends who had older kids.
Always double the sheets/plastic sheet in baby/toddler bed.

It's saved us in the middle of the night on countless occasions.

Choose your battles

In response to mixed feeders
I breastfed DD to 14 months and DS to 11 months
I offered a top up bottle feed after breast at late bed time feed (11-12pm)
It never affected my milk supply and they slept through till 7-8am from being quite young which saved my sanity!

@Cheermonger

Teenagers need you more not less

💯 this

Always hug a little longer, they'll almost never pull away. And remember to hug bigger kids, teens, it's easy to loose physical contact as they get older.

A lovely nurse told me on my first to try speak your plans to the baby, like ask permission almost when lifting/changing ...it sounds silly but I did it as often as I remembered and found it builds a little pause into the movements... four kids in I find this made me a little more mindful at times and respectful of their space ...like not just lifting them straight up as soon as they woke from a nap and charging on with the next thing I'd try pause and say do you want to get up now?

I do laugh thinking about it as didn't manage any of it during the demented toddler stage and my god I have had bad days but the hug advice, they never say no to a hug and I can never leave them hysterical even if they've worn me down I know a hug always helps. Mostly for me!

@JaceLancs you’ve just sparked another for me. If breast pumping doesn’t work, just stop it. So so many women’s MH suffers because no one tells them to stop when they’ve tried every blood nipple size thingy going and still only getting 10m an hour.

Absolutely agree @Cheermonger and @Happyd.

Whenever I read posts from posters who have three or four young children asking whether they should have more, I always think they underestimate how much more a teenager needs you on an emotional level.

DD had some awful problems as a teenager and I would not have wanted to go through that time again with multiple children.

I booked a couple of nights in hotel for me, dh and our then 1 year old ds. I thought it would be a nice little break. I was wrong. Ds was awful and decided to stay awake until 5am on the first night. We had no sleep at all. Obviously the hotel room disturbed his sleep and I really wish I'd thought that through beforehand. I was so overtired the next day and needed to vent to my friends.
One friend gave me some good perspective. She said, 'Forget the word holiday. With children it's, same sh*t, different place. Just lower your expectations then you might be pleasantly surprised'. That was good advice.

Not advice exactly but something I've always reflected on during harder parenting times is, 'the days are long but the years are short.' It's so true.

Babies cry, quite a lot. It’s normal and they are really okay to be put down to settle themselves. Best advice ever, especially when I had my third baby. You just can’t be doing all the rocking and soothing when you have a two toddlers demanding your attention.

@WeatherwaxOn

Quite a few covered here but one I'd like to offer up. If you say 'no' make sure it's a reasonable one, and if necessary, explain why you're saying 'no'. For example, "Can I have a packet of sweets?" No because you had two sweets earlier and they're not good for your teeth. You can have some more later in the week/at the weekend. "Can I have Amy over for a sleepover?" "No, not this weekend because we have to be up early on Sunday to do XYZ/at the moment her parents aren't letting her stay over at people's houses/you've had a lot of late nights this week and you're already tired."

As a child I used to HATE it when I was told no, then when I asked why was told, "because I say so."

Absolutely this.

As a general rule, I have lived by 'How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'. I know not all of it works for all kids and some of it sounds super twee and patronising but generally, it has always worked for me. My DCs are 22 and 16 now but I still have the book! My DD was reading it a while a go and this look of realisation came over her face - like I had been using witchcraft on her!

In fact, there are a few tactics in there that have served me well in my working life when I was managing people!!!

@bendmeoverbackwards

Be kind. Always be kind. When your child messes up and, be there for them. Not a popular view on MN but my mum was one who made different meals and for me out of messes. It didn’t make me spoilt or an incompetent adult; I remember her kindness.

Absolutely this. It's not advice I was ever given but it's the biggest lesson I've learned along the way. If you want them to be kind and generous people, you need to treat them that way. It applies to everything, from not hitting them to forgiveness to sharing sweets.

Not a parenting tip per se, but one I picked up through working at a nursery - when a child has a minor bump (falls over while running, drops something on foot, gets a scrape etc) don't fuss over them immediately. Most of the time they'll look to you for an idea of how to respond, and being casual but supportive is far more comforting to them than getting upset/anxious.

It probably seems obvious to most people, but it really helped me when I was starting out

All kids are different. Do what works for your kid not someone else's.

If still night feeding, try not to turn on 'big' light, don't talk/ sing etc and unless really yucky don't change nappy, that way baby should settle quicker than being stimulated and becoming wide awake, also teaches the difference between night time (boring) and daytime (lots of fun)

@Timefortheparty that is genius. Absolutely going to remember this one!

I don't get the advice about the christmas stockings. Do people hang them empty before Christmas?

Ours turn up with the presents on Christmas night! Might be why I am confused.

I did the stockings with mine, they'd put the empties on their bedroom door (but some have them on the end of their bed). So it's easy just to take of the empty and replace it with the full one. less risk of them seeing it missing or being caught filling it.

My gran gave me the best advice ever and I swear by it. I have 3 dc and it’s worked for each one. Always put them to bed with noise. I’d have the tv, radio or white noise on for every nap and overnight. My kids can literally sleep anywhere and through any noise. I hoover their room after they go to bed and they never wake up! My gran was Indian and I think it’s quite common there. No such thing as putting a baby to bed in silence!

Yes kids hang empty stockings for Santa to fill. Back in the day it was an actual sock, in my house it was a white knee lenght girls sock

Babies don't just "fit in" with your life.

There's a big difference between life before and after children and if you constantly mourn the loss of your old childless life you're going to be really miserable.

@HoneyzAiy

My gran gave me the best advice ever and I swear by it. I have 3 dc and it’s worked for each one. Always put them to bed with noise. I’d have the tv, radio or white noise on for every nap and overnight. My kids can literally sleep anywhere and through any noise. I hoover their room after they go to bed and they never wake up! My gran was Indian and I think it’s quite common there. No such thing as putting a baby to bed in silence!

I'd be happy to get my kids to sleep in silence never mind with a bit of noise. It's advice that works for some but not for others. Note other mums have said its worked until DC4 came along.

Nothing more soul destroying than getting a non-sleeper to sleep and some bum hole wakes them up after 15mins thinking they should get used to noise. Cheers, that's the end of the nap, I've had no break, and kid is ready to go again for the next 2 hours.

Always have electrolite powder in the house to make drinks for sick children, it helps prevent dehydration. A doctor told me that water alone actually made matters worse for a child who keeps throwing up as it dilutes essential salts in the body. And never to let a child be sick for more than 12 hours without seeking advice.

My first was raised in silence, tip toe, no shower, no flushing of the loo until deep sleep, when baby slept, that was it. Tv barely at a whisper at the other side of the house, no washing machine on in the evening. PFB at its best.
Can sleep anywhere and anytime.

Arrive baby number 3, where all the fussing has long gone out of the window and siblings making the place a very "lived-in" one.
Could not settle and sleep through unless the house was completely silent. Or empty. We are talking about 15-20 minutes nap to a 3 hour nap difference. Same in the evening.

Go figure 🤷

When random people give "interesting" advice, smile and say thanks, I will try it.
Then forget it completely if you know it wont work for your kid
If you have more than one, remind the eldest how much the youngest admires him. Want to copy him. Wants him to teach all his tricks/ skills. Big child is a hero to little child.
Benefits both /all kids.
Eldest gets to be proud of his skills and learns patience to teach younger.
Younger learns a new skill.
Parents get peace for a few minutes.

Planning to pass school uniform from one child to another? Order name tags with surname only.
Or "A SMITH B" And fold over the initial not needed.

Agree with the limited choices. Do you want red hat or pink one? They choose a hat and keep their ears warm.

If you need to have a punishment/lesson then carry it through.
Ds was a fantastic time waster. He could do 1/4 hours on his clock. Knew we had to leave at 1/2 past. Bug hand at the bottom.
Got plenty of reminders to get dressed... and be ready. We have to leave at half past . You will be going to school in pjs if you aren't dressed. I had grabbed a spare uniform and put it in a bag... he had to walk to school in his pjs. Next day he was dressed before playing. And he understood mummy means it.

So make sure any threats are reasonable.
No good saying "if you dont stop whining; you will have to walk home" when you are 50 miles from home, on a trip.

Always trust your gut

There are lots of activities you can do from a lying position on the sofa when you are tired Jigsaws, reading and colouring etc