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Original poster

AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2021 10:17

Feral beasts

Butwasitherdriveway · 30/03/2021 10:18

OP, you never said the kids chalked her private parts!!! Bloody hell.

Tigerchips · 30/03/2021 11:07

"I would not like to live somewhere in which children played on the street, never mind chalking the pavement or road. I have seen it on television, for example on 'Call the Midwife'"

Fucking pmsl 🤣

jessstan2 · 30/03/2021 11:18

@Felifox

There were lots of chalking in our village during lockdown. In fact I suggested doing one on our narrow road just to remind motorists that people come out of gates onto the road. I'm in my 70's.
:-)

During lockdown it's understandable that children will look for unusual things to do and the adults have to be tolerant.

Butwasitherdriveway · 30/03/2021 11:59

@Tigerchips

"I would not like to live somewhere in which children played on the street, never mind chalking the pavement or road. I have seen it on television, for example on 'Call the Midwife'"

Fucking pmsl 🤣

It's a regular feature.

Baby born in awful conditions and then there's kids chalking outside.

Or even worse. Playing

jessstan2 · 30/03/2021 12:14

Not in the street.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2021 12:15

@jessstan2

Not in the street.
Nah, on the neighbours driveway
Butwasitherdriveway · 30/03/2021 12:18

@jessstan2

Not in the street.
Are you being serious?
jessstan2 · 30/03/2021 12:23

I don't think kids should play out in the street at all.

Butwasitherdriveway · 30/03/2021 12:24

What about kids who don't have gardens?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2021 12:32

@jessstan2

I don't think kids should play out in the street at all.
So we've had a year of Lockdown. What do you think kids in flats or with tiny little yards do, given that there is a correlation between kids growing in high rise flats and living in areas where parks are unsafe and kids growing up in houses with big gardens and living in areas where parks are safe?
PegasusReturns · 30/03/2021 12:32

We have children playing in the street and chalking, shock horror! We’re on a square and the children run back and forth between the square, drives and pavement.

I suppose the Edwardian architecture does lend a “call the midwife” to the locale Grin PMSL

Spudina · 30/03/2021 12:34

She is miserable. Did you see the cool footage of a guy in the USA who spotted a kid cycling in his drive so drew a track in it. He changed it after it rained and all the neighbours started using it. It was heartwarming.
I grew up in the 80s and we all played out together on the street. I remember playing British bull dog, tennis, etc and someone yelling “car” and us all moving. Happy times. My road isn’t suitable for that but my brother lives on a cool cul de sac where the kids still play out. Bit jealous about that...

jessstan2 · 30/03/2021 13:25

@Butwasitherdriveway

What about kids who don't have gardens?
That's a different matter altogether. I know some blocks of flats have a designated play area. When they are old enough to go out unsupervised they go to the park.

However the op has indicated that she and her neighbours live in houses, not flats.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/03/2021 13:27

That's a different matter altogether. I know some blocks of flats have a designated play area. And some don't. And some are unsafe and unsavoury.
When they are old enough to go out unsupervised they go to the park. Where the local drug dealers hang. Nice.

Original poster
TakesTheCake · 30/03/2021 14:43

To report back, i knocked to ask them if they knew anything about a development that is planned nearby, and because she wasn’t

OP posts:
Original poster
TakesTheCake · 30/03/2021 14:51

Oops, bloody dog knocked my arm. She wasn’t in but her husband was and I had a long chat with him about the development and other issues, then said I was sorry that the chalking on the road was an issue for them. He said it was an “offence” to chalk on the road and they were shocked. I just said up until that day they had only ever chalked our driveway and on that day they were with the neighbour’s boy and it spilled over, and I hadn’t realised it would bother anyone, and that I would make sure they didn’t do it again.

OP posts:
tangerinelollipop · 30/03/2021 14:55

YABU OP

Encourage them to chalk your drive, your walls and so on

^This

it wasn't on the driveway, it was on the communal road

Communal means that it belongs to everyone. This includes the neighbour, so she's right to take issue with this.

Not everyone likes chalking and graffiti

Someonetookmyname · 30/03/2021 15:07

@tangerinelollipop

If the road belongs to everyone, then her kids have a right to use it as they wish surely, so long as it doesn’t cause any lasting damage.

Yes her neighbour may not like the chalk. She may also dislike the noise of kids playing outside, people playing music with the windows open, neighbours talking loudly in their garden, dogs nearby that bark occasionally, the neighbour’s front garden decorations she finds unattractive and so on...

You can’t ban everything that other people enjoy just because you don’t like it. Unless you’re able to live in a bubble you have to live and let live.

And getting upset over a bit of chalk really is miserable!! Hopscotch on the pavement is a British tradition.

Someonetookmyname · 30/03/2021 15:09

Her husband sounds as miserable as she is OP!!

Original poster
TakesTheCake · 30/03/2021 15:13

@tangerinelollipop

YABU OP

Encourage them to chalk your drive, your walls and so on

^This

it wasn't on the driveway, it was on the communal road

Communal means that it belongs to everyone. This includes the neighbour, so she's right to take issue with this.

Not everyone likes chalking and graffiti

“Not everyone likes chalking and graffiti”... you can’t really lump those two things together like that. Chalk is what young children use and it washes away. Graffiti is permanent unless it’s really worked at by someone, and it’s much older kids and young adults that do it. It’s defacing and criminal damage. Surely you don’t think of them as the same?
OP posts:
BlackCatShadow · 30/03/2021 15:15

oh, well. It was mean of them but ask your kids to stick to the driveway from now on just to keep the peace.

Butwasitherdriveway · 30/03/2021 15:17

@TakesTheCake

Oops, bloody dog knocked my arm. She wasn’t in but her husband was and I had a long chat with him about the development and other issues, then said I was sorry that the chalking on the road was an issue for them. He said it was an “offence” to chalk on the road and they were shocked. I just said up until that day they had only ever chalked our driveway and on that day they were with the neighbour’s boy and it spilled over, and I hadn’t realised it would bother anyone, and that I would make sure they didn’t do it again.
Shocked. Bloody hell
Roonerspismed · 30/03/2021 15:18

I think she is miserable and narrow minded.

Let them chalk.

Kids here have been doing it all over the pavement.

withmycoffee · 30/03/2021 15:35

@Jacopo

People no longer seem to be given comprehension exercises in school.
People's comprehension is fine. It's the OPs wording that is confusing "Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away. " sounds to most people like she ran the hose water onto her driveway where she then scrubbed away chalk.