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AIBU to let my children chalk on the road? Neighbour washed it all away.

999 replies

TakesTheCake · 28/03/2021 19:10

We have lived on a small square for four years, where the neighbours are pretty unfriendly and insular (unlike our old street, where they were all lovely and welcoming and mutual support abounded :-( ), and two doors away lives a couple who have always been reasonably friendly and cordial.

Today my two boys aged 7 and 12 were outside playing for a few hours on the square with the boy from next door - riding scooters, running, swinging on the swing in the little grassed area, with me and the boy’s dad keeping watch. My elder boy ran in to get the chalks they sometimes use to draw on our driveway but this time they all drew on the road (there is no pavement, just driveways and road). It covered outside our house and also the neighbours’ house (the couple we are somewhat friendly with). They were really proud of their creativity, finished up, then came in for lunch. Five minutes later the neighbour came out of her house, ran the hose on her driveway and worked pretty hard at scrubbing/washing it all away.

The kids were dismayed when they saw her doing it, and thought they had done something wrong. It felt really horrible for me too, as I don’t think kids’ chalk drawings are out of order in any way, and will wash away in the next rain. They have never caused any issues in the road, so it can’t be because of built-up resentments that spilled over, and they have literally never drawn on the road in the whole four years we have lived there.

She saw me see her doing it, and it feels really awkward now. I would rather she had come over and just straightforwardly said it bothers her to see it from her window and could I make sure it isn’t outside her house again. Washing it away felt passive aggressive, or she really feels I let them do something out of order and wrong.

AIBU to have let them? Are children’s chalk drawings on the road (NOT her driveway or even close) not OK?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:41

@TakesTheCake can I just ask? Why did you think it was acceptable to let your kids draw on her driveway?
It is defacing.

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:42

@SleepingStandingUp reads serious Grin

mamaooooh · 29/03/2021 19:42

I usually smile when I see kids out chalking pictures it's quite nice.

However, and not saying this is her issue because who knows really, but some chalk has milk in it. Lots of kids (and adults) have milk allergies, being in powder form and dusty could be extremely dangerous. Hosing it away reduces that danger so as an allergy mum I could get worked up about my kid not being able to play in street cos others were out playing with chalk. One of the million things you never would expect to consider before allergies invade your life!

Myrt23 · 29/03/2021 19:42

Spray paint! Lol. It was chalk!

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:43

@mamaooooh

I usually smile when I see kids out chalking pictures it's quite nice.

However, and not saying this is her issue because who knows really, but some chalk has milk in it. Lots of kids (and adults) have milk allergies, being in powder form and dusty could be extremely dangerous. Hosing it away reduces that danger so as an allergy mum I could get worked up about my kid not being able to play in street cos others were out playing with chalk. One of the million things you never would expect to consider before allergies invade your life!

Omg.

I.

I

I

Can't. I just can't.

As a side note, don't say it's nice to see. PPs have previously been very clear that this weird and creepy 🤣🤣🤣🤣

SleepingStandingUp · 29/03/2021 19:45

[quote Butwasitherdriveway]@TakesTheCake can I just ask? Why did you think it was acceptable to let your kids draw on her driveway?
It is defacing.[/quote]
That's mean, you're gonna confuse op again 🤣

TakesTheCake · 29/03/2021 19:47

I’m also a bit sad that some people think it’s “weird” for my 12yo to join his little brother on the street sometimes. I think it’s lovely and that day he wanted to be big overseeing brother and fix the swing for him, then he stuck around for some chalking. He’s a tween now, and sometimes they can act a lot older than they are but by the same token sometimes they can act younger than they are. He plays outside so rarely now so i thought it was lovely. It’s dismaying to learn that anyone seeing him doing that might be thinking he is weird for it or that it’s pathetic in any way. I don’t mind being judged but it stings a bit to have my 12yo son judged so negatively.

Oh, and IT WASN’T ON HER DRIVEWAY! And did I mention it wasn’t on her driveway? Grin

OP posts:
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:47

See when they are on the road OP do you not think about the cars flying past? Fgs

CustardySergeant · 29/03/2021 19:48

I can't believe all these posters defending the OP's kids smashing all the neighbour's windows, chucking lit fireworks inside and laughing as her house burnt down.

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU

AWamBamBoom · 29/03/2021 19:48

@EmmaGrundyForPM

A similar situation happened to me and my friend when we were out with our children and they were playing a game in a place they technically shouldn't but not causing any issues whatsoever and having a great time. A man came along and told then to stop. Which they did. Friends son asked my friend "why doesn't that man want us playing here?" to which she replied very loudly and pointedly "because he's forgotten what it's like to be a child". Which I thought was a brilliant response.
This sums up bad parenting. They should not have been playing there by your own admission That's it Fucking parent your child 'which I thought was a brilliant response' Dear God, raise your child to be respectful You should be ashamed
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:49

Playing a game they technically shouldn't was probably kicking a football in a no ball games area. There is no hope for these children.

LaceyBetty · 29/03/2021 19:49

@Biscoffontoast

I can’t believe some of the comments on here, no wonder so many kids are badly behaved these days. Your neighbour was well within her rights to remove the chalk, it is hugely disrespectful to draw on anyone’s property whether it belongs to the neighbour (I know it didn’t) or the council. And before anyone accuses me of being a killjoy with no sense of fun, I’m not - just trying to bring my child up to respect her surroundings and to realise that how she behaves and the choices she makes impact on others. Yes, it’s been a rubbish year for everyone and children have suffered disproportionately, however still no excuse for defacing a public road!
OMG, you are the best!
Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:50

Aw OP don't take to heart!! 💖

LaceyBetty · 29/03/2021 19:51

@TakesTheCake

I’m also a bit sad that some people think it’s “weird” for my 12yo to join his little brother on the street sometimes. I think it’s lovely and that day he wanted to be big overseeing brother and fix the swing for him, then he stuck around for some chalking. He’s a tween now, and sometimes they can act a lot older than they are but by the same token sometimes they can act younger than they are. He plays outside so rarely now so i thought it was lovely. It’s dismaying to learn that anyone seeing him doing that might be thinking he is weird for it or that it’s pathetic in any way. I don’t mind being judged but it stings a bit to have my 12yo son judged so negatively.

Oh, and IT WASN’T ON HER DRIVEWAY! And did I mention it wasn’t on her driveway? Grin

Amazing that you needed to write this post. Grin
HandyHarry · 29/03/2021 19:52

@Biscoffontoast I'm glad you're not my mother! Jeez unclench woman!

ChalkingsIsAGatewayCrime · 29/03/2021 19:53

I feel like people are missing the bigger question - Why are your kids playing with chalk at all if they're 17 and 22? YABVU they are old enough to know better

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 19:54

@ChalkingsIsAGatewayCrime

I feel like people are missing the bigger question - Why are your kids playing with chalk at all if they're 17 and 22? YABVU they are old enough to know better
The boy is 23. Did you not see the update
Obviouslynotallthere · 29/03/2021 19:57

I love to see it. Such bright colours and washes away when it rains. We bloody hate kid in the uk. Yet moan they're watching crap on YouTube etc. I want to see kids on bikes, skipping, building camps and all that outdoor imaginative play. Your neighbour is a miserable cow.
If she bothered she could have had a chat with you and said clean it up at the end of the day. No problem and no offence.

Myrt23 · 29/03/2021 20:02

I didn’t realise you were there! Lol

Myrt23 · 29/03/2021 20:03

They are 7 and 12!!

HeronLanyon · 29/03/2021 20:05

Does anyone else feel like getting some chalk and just going for it ? I am in mid 50s. Why should the kids have all the fun ?

HandyHarry · 29/03/2021 20:07

Hang on..... nobody has mentioned the correlation of chalking outside houses and dog theft!

You've raised dog thieves OP! Shame on you!

ChalkingsIsAGatewayCrime · 29/03/2021 20:11

Let's all chalk the pavement or road outside our houses this Thursday at 8pm? Chalk for Children, anyone?

Kettledodger · 29/03/2021 20:12

Your 17yo and 23yo should be out working not chalking everything moving! As for allergies I have asked my neighbours to cut down all trees and not to grow any flowers also they may only mow their lawns during the hours of 1pm and 3pm every 1 Sunday of the month because you know....my allergies

Butwasitherdriveway · 29/03/2021 20:12

@ChalkingsIsAGatewayCrime

Let's all chalk the pavement or road outside our houses this Thursday at 8pm? Chalk for Children, anyone?
Greetings, my fellow NCer.

@TakesTheCake that's two now