Secrets of your trade.

[Confusedfornow]

I have worked in my current area of expertise for the last 20 years or so. It's in Aviation, can't say exactly what or for who as it's a relatively small community (for my role) and it would be VERY outing. Before this, my only other "job" that I did for a few years was dancing (yes, that kind ). So I don't have massive experience of the world of work.

But I was chatting with some people in a bar over the weekend and conversation turned to jobs and then to my role. I was telling them about some stuff which is perfectly normal to me, but was absolutely news to them.

For instance . .

When a plane is "parked" and everything is switched off, the aircraft is referred to as being "Cold and dark".

If a helicopter has engine failure, it won't just fall out of the sky. The pilots are trained in a procedure called "autorotation" and can usually land safely even if the engine isn't running at all.

All British Airways flights use the call sign "Speed Bird". It's unique and no other airline in the world uses it.

Last one . .

Pilots can't wear polarised sunglasses. They make the electronic displays on the flight deck appear black, and you can't read any information from them.

So, what do you know from your jobs that is mundane for you but which most people wouldn't have a clue/be surprised by?

Can’t Midwives use Emla cream before they stitch. I always used to insist on it for my children before any treatment.

.

Just to clarify - yes there IS local anaesthetic for stitches, they just point blank refused to give me any.
With my third child I had a homebirth and one of the first things I said to the midwifes as they arrived at my doorstep was that I would refused any suturing if they didn’t give me a local anaesthetic this time. They were both a bit like and when I told them about my previous experience they were horrified. I did need stitches again and they did indeed give me local anaesthetic. I cried, I was so grateful that they listened to me.

In 2019 it’s appaling that they expect women to be stitched after a painful experience without pain relief.

I'm a scientist and you'd be surprised about how many breakthroughs are made with homemade apparatus that looks more than a bit ghetto. Like the element factory at in Russia made of spare parts.
The brown paper envelope containing new superhard metal samples. Thr fact that sometimes physical science is surprisingly physical and dirty.
And that you still spend a lot of time writing stuff down in lab books even today.

I’m not sure I’d want any numbing cream on my poor battered vulva. I’d rather have the very short lived pain of the injection, surely any cream would sting like fuck. I do remember the examination being painful but it was very quick and didn’t bother me too much and the midwifes were very quick.

ha ha confused mixing it up a little there with some aircraft chat thrown in between the talk on unanaesthetised stitching of perineum's and cervical dilation s....only on MN

No-one comes near my vulva after giving birth, that's the law in our house! Midwife or no. Tears or not, fuck off, no more looking and certainly no touching, as for needles, I'd fight you to the death!

@smother

Well, I get a little queasy at too much medical stuff

"Midwives, how do you know over the phone that someone is ready to come in?"

There are many signs we listen for, not only how strong contractions are. Who is on the phone (in advance labour few mums can hold a coherent conversation, so often they will pass the phone to their partner when the contraction comes, or it will be their husband calling), how their voice sounds, how the contractions sound, their breathing... Even on the phone you can pick up signs that labour is still too early or imminent. Where I live, in New Zealand, your midwife comes home to assess you, so if you go and see the mum and she is not ready, you recommend her to stay home for some more hours. However midwives get quite good at picking up the signs and I am proud to say I rarely get it wrong _. Another one of my tricks: if the labouring woman's mum is there with her, and she has had vaginal births herself, I always listen to her opinion. They know, they feel. I once had a primip (first time mum) whose mum called me, she was convinced her daughter was in advanced labour but the she herself thought not and she didn't want her mum to call me because she didn't want her to waste my time in the middle of the time. I listened to her mum and went to assess her daughter. She was 9 cm!

"Next time I don't think I want that injection that helps you give birth to the placenta. It made me feel HORRIFIC, can I say I don't want it or is it necessary?"

If you have had a normal birth and have no increased risk of bleeding you don't need the injection. It is a high dose of oxytocin which makes your uterus contract and expel the placenta faster. I rarely give it to my women unless there have been interventions that mean it is necessary. If you have birthed your baby normally, you can birth your placenta by yourself. Many midwives are used to the injection and have stopped rationalising why they use it, unfortunately many times it is "to save time". Normal birth of the placenta can take over an hour, while if they give you the injection they will be pulling it out by brute force (literally!) 5 minutes after. When you don't use the injection, the woman pushes her own placenta out by herself, in her own time, with no one pulling it. Much gentler, and it gives the mum uninterrupted time to bond with her baby. Also, breastfeeding her baby helps the contractions to push the placenta out naturally.

"The doctor that stitched me up, I called her a bitch, I still think about it now, she wasn't a bitch but it really bloody hurt. More than giving birth."

Again, this happens often because of rushing. Examining and cleaning the wound can hurt, but the stitching itself shouldn't. The midwife or obstetrician just need to give the vagina enough time for the anaesthetic (injected lignocaine) to work. If you start to stitch right after giving the anaesthetic, of course it will hurt like hell! If the woman is telling you it still hurts, you need to give more anaesthetic! Not rocket science, really. But if you have another 10 women in line and are short staffed, you will give the injection, pull the placenta out and stitch the woman in 10 min. faster but definitely not better!

Added: EMLA cream in a torn vagina is excruciatingly painful! Ask for SC lignocaine with a 26G needle.

Wonderful insights. There is a fair amount of cruelty going on anywhere where there are vulnerable humans, whatever age or sex but birthing women really can get a raw deal.

I have known a MW slap a woman's leg and tell her to pipe down with all the noise!! When you're in labour, what can you do?! You may as well be gagged and roped to a chair for all the good you can do in labour

A question for midwives ...

Do you (or do you feel it’s plausible that some midwives might) judge/discriminate against younger mums? I was late teens when I had my first and I distinctly remember asking for pain relief and being told if this is how I was coping now, my only option was an epidural. She refused to check how dilated I was and so I got the epidural but it didn’t work properly as I’d been given it too late - when she did check me afterwards it transpired I’d dilated really quickly and was much further on that anticipated. This really spoiled my whole birthing experience as I was obviously confined to the bed and when I went up to the ward I couldn’t even reach my baby from the bed. I honestly felt that had I been 10/15 years older things would have been different

I’m not a midwife hater by any manner of means and have nothing but positive things to say about my second experience.

Also just wanted to add a for Health Visitors. Mine absolutely saved my sanity when mine were very young and they are definitely there to help. This trophy that women give themselves for having ‘not seen a HV since my baby was 6 weeks old’ is baffling but I suppose it feels like an achievement to have never needed any sort of support as a parent. Hearing people complain about pre-birth visits and HVs just wanting to be nosey - surely if that helps only one child or Mum in need it’s been worthwhile?

Sorry this hear such a horrible experience.

I think, I hope, you were just unlucky with your MW. You have every right to document your experiences like you have here and out them into a complaint against that MW. I'd encourage you to do that, and get some answers for yourself.

Also, it will hopefully make other's get a better experience from now on.

My HV was also amazing, and I relied on her heavily for support and guidance when my babies were very small. I wonder if their role has changed significantly to be one of more child safeguarding than support and educator for DM. I don't know, it would be useful to hear from one! This is what I've heard anyway.
So glad your second experience was so much better. I think there are also plenty of oldeolder DMs with stories like yours also though.

I am always appalled that some women who choose to work in the caring professiona (nurses, midwives) can be so judgemental towards other women. Why the hell would anyone care what age a mum was? It doesn't affect you in the slightest! You are there to be their midwife, to support them through pregnancy, labour and birth. You are there to be their advocate when others do not treat them right, what hope do they have if you are actually the one mistreating them? Not judging your women is the number one requirement to offer good care. I honestly don't understand why anyone would want to be a midwife when she holds these judgments inside her. Personally, the most vulnerable a woman in my care is, regardless what the reason is (age, disability, social or financial reasons, drugs, domestic violence, tprevious trauma), the most I strive to give her great care and make her feel the most important person in the world while she is with me. I feel extremely protective of the women I care for, precisely because pregnancy and labour are the most vulnerable moments of a woman's life, even if she is the strongest, most confident person in the world. A woman is unable to stand up for herself when she is in labour, she has something far more important to worry about than asserting herself. She should never have to be worried about what her supporters think about her lifestyle, appearance or any other factor of her life.

You know that saying, "when you're in labour you leave your dignity at the door"? I hate it. I abhor it. It sets women up for shame and puts them in a position of dependence. When you're in labour there will be nudity, yes. There will be bodily fluids. And moaning. It is part of the process of giving birth to another life. And precisely because of that, there is no other time in your life where you will been more beautiful, more brave and more dignified. A woman in labour is a force to be reckoned, a thing of beauty. I want everyone to look up to her, admire her, feel the magic of the moment she lets out the whole new person she has made inside her. Her age, ethnicity, and life circumstances fade away and you are just left with this strong, awe-inspiring beautiful human before you that embodies the best we are and we can be. It embodies hope, potential, fresh new life.

Whoever cannot see and appreciate that, should never be in the caring professions.

That's beautiful aurynne.

Oooof...wow! That should be said to every birthing woman, by every midwife, that is awesome

@aurynne

Beautifully put. Made me cry.

Well said, we need more like you aurynne

Wow- aurynne for PM!

Aurynne that was so lovely. Any mother who gets to work with you is very, very lucky ❤️

I want to ask waitress if they judge people who tip their individual curry , shepherds pie or whatever onto their plate?

There is already a proof of Prince Charles ready for when we need the new stamp....it took a while to get a version he was happy with!

Lightson tell them to wind their neck in if they do!! Your food!

Yes, I can imagine it would take while to get a good look for the stamp

As a pub manager and former restaurant manager and waitress I can tell you @Lightson that some might, in the michelin starred type places, but speaking for myself you paid so you can do what you like with it. Stick it all down your bra if you like, no skin off my nose :o