Secrets of your trade.

[Confusedfornow]

I have worked in my current area of expertise for the last 20 years or so. It's in Aviation, can't say exactly what or for who as it's a relatively small community (for my role) and it would be VERY outing. Before this, my only other "job" that I did for a few years was dancing (yes, that kind ). So I don't have massive experience of the world of work.

But I was chatting with some people in a bar over the weekend and conversation turned to jobs and then to my role. I was telling them about some stuff which is perfectly normal to me, but was absolutely news to them.

For instance . .

When a plane is "parked" and everything is switched off, the aircraft is referred to as being "Cold and dark".

If a helicopter has engine failure, it won't just fall out of the sky. The pilots are trained in a procedure called "autorotation" and can usually land safely even if the engine isn't running at all.

All British Airways flights use the call sign "Speed Bird". It's unique and no other airline in the world uses it.

Last one . .

Pilots can't wear polarised sunglasses. They make the electronic displays on the flight deck appear black, and you can't read any information from them.

So, what do you know from your jobs that is mundane for you but which most people wouldn't have a clue/be surprised by?

I used to work in property sales and rentals (I know you all hate me instantly ) in firms dealing with the cheapest end of the market to very high end/very wealthy and/or celebrity clients.

I much preferred rentals (at the lower end of the market too) as you could build up a relationship with tenants and clients. Unlike the common perception of property staff, I am not a total cunt I spent a lot of time helping people struggling with housing benefit claims and advised (within reason!) on other benefits like DLA. I had DC with SN so also advised on local special schools, helped with appeals etc - usually in my own time. I used to come in all all hours to ring clients abroad if something needed a phone conversation (see below). Kept tools and cleaning stuff in my car to help assemble flat pack furniture or finish a clean if it wasn't up to my standard

Have also dealt with lots of horrible situations, especially on inspections - unexpected dead bodies including murders/suicide which were very distressing especially if first on the scene. Found drugs, guns, bullets and all sorts of wierd sexual paraphernalia! Things like guns were reported to the police to deal with. I never intruded on peoples' privacy btw by opening drawers etc, these were all left in the open! I've walked in on people shagging on stairs etc Also the state of some properties (especially the high end!) were absolutely revolting, shit smeared everywhere, fleas, bedbugs, absolutely filthy. I've come close to vomiting in lots of kitchen and bathroom sinks! (Actually I once threw up on a client's floor in front of them due to morning sickness, they were very nice and the office paid for a professional clean).

Never insisted on an inspection like the shit agency behaviour you see on MN and always respected privacy. Turned up to an inspection where a baby was clearly unwell and drove baby and mother to hospital (they sent me flowers afterwards). Used to keep baby seats in car boot for viewings and situations like this.

Some of the bad behaviour witnessed though (high end again!) was It wasn't unheard of for agency staff to shag viewers on appointments and at other agencies staff would use empty properties to hold parties or sleep overnight in after nights out. Especially ones with swimming pools (I've seen people jump/fall into pools in viewings!) Some of the staff kept the keys in their possession rather than in the office for this purpose. If drugs were found in properties they were quite often swiped by staff for own use

We were insured for all sorts of stuff, staff broke legs falling down stairs on viewings etc and personally I accidentally broke a very very expensive item with my handbag on a property visit Branded company cars used to be vandalised on a regular basis. I've had some lovely unbranded cars too like BMWs - allowed to keep on maternity leaves!

I absolutely loved my job and really tried to do my best and gave up a lot of my free time (unless people were complete knobs). We weren't allowed to accept monetary or very expensive gifts but I have received lots and lots of flowers, handwritten cards, wine, chocolate and gifts from all over the world over the years! I've had clients try and give me money for my DC

Also not all estate agents or companies are knobs. I never ever tried to do tenants out of deposits (even before the days of TDS), always had properties cleaned for new tenancies, tried my best to help if people struggled with rent, encouraged landlords to take pets for nice tenants, we insisted on landlord's getting safety checks (again before things like electrical installation regulations). Some of us (and good companies) were not cowboys at all.

Omg that was long! My inventories were always long and very detailed too

Noloudnoises, invoking Tim Rice works magic as well (or it did some years ago when I used to have to book lunch for my boss and all kinds of random 'slebs').

Oh that’s interesting re midwives giving birth at their own units! Especially going to extra effort to make sure you’re at your own hospital. It’s amazing how working in that environment must change your perspective. Looking round at my own colleagues I can’t imagine anything worse than going into work thinking ‘she’s seen me naked/he’s seen me poo’ 🙈 But I guess being in that profession makes it completely different and not undignified or shameful.

@ChakiraChakra - your point about remembering what you pre-ordered made me remember a meal I went out for with the choir I sang with.

The woman who organised it was incredibly meticulous, so she set up a seating plan, and gave the restaurant a list of what each of us had chosen, plus the seating plan, so they were able to bring out everyone’s food straight to them. This lady’s bossiness has sometimes been a source of irritation, but in this case, it looks as if it was helpful.

My dsis is a midwife and she gave birth at her own unit. People kept popping in to say hi!

MeInGeneva can you explain a bit about how to deal with type 2 diabetes. You say you've seen insulin dependent patients come off it in a few days. How? Would love to know.

The factories that make 100% no added anything (not guilty) smoothies don't have any fruit in them and the mixture they're made of is flammable.

Bar work.. If you buy me a drink I take £1 out of your change and put it in my tips

.... fruit smoothies ... flammable

What's the flammable liquid? Otherwise I don't think I can believe this....

@MaybeIamUngrateful
Re smoothies, the sludge is 100% fruit, you’re just describing the end process.

@Smotheroffive
Dense, partially dried fruit sludge would be very flammable.

wrt chicken pox and teeth.

I think there used to be an antibiotic that caused terrible brown teeth in milk teeth in children.
Cannot remember much about it though, could it have been that?

The factories that make 100% no added anything (not guilty) smoothies don't have any fruit in them and the mixture they're made of is flammable.

They don't have any fruit in them?

What are they then?

I'm sorry but I don't believe this one.

Dense, partially dried fruit sludge would be very flammable.

But they poster said there was NO fruit

I teach pole dance. Every stripper that’s come for lessons has found it way harder than the average beginner, and I can’t recall many with co-ordination. I do find it interesting as our industry stems from theirs.

A nod to the pleasers over here too. Best work shoes ever

*If your dentist has a certificate on the wall with an award for
‘ best dental practice 2018”
Or “ most caring dental team “ or suchlike ,

These are awards in which the dentist PAYS to nominate themselves, they take a table at the “awards dinner” costing up to £100 a head :the dental press are there taking photos.
The “judges” will have never even met the dentist or been to the practice*

This is similar to the “awards” ceremonies going around the UK just now, everyone nominates you, you get invited to a dinner where you pay a fortune, and all go home with something. Hair salons and fitness and the ones who get stung with this!

You practically pay for an award for yourself , and hand this company a meaty profit for a certificate! It’s a scam.

Stonemill3 Probably because the strippers who were good on the pole don't need to come for beginners lessons?

Pole at work in a strip club is completely different to pole fitness, you don't need to be good at pole to earn money, in fact, it can often be a hinderence having to go on stage so loads of dancers avoid it. Personally, I enjoyed it, but I came from a dance background and I liked performing tricks and inverts.

@theyvallgone that made me tear up

Director of a philanthropic foundation. Will probably go down in flames for this but......

Whilst it's a popular viewpoint, it's very simplistic to say that big charities = inefficient and waste money on overheads whilst small charities are super-impactful because they spend a higher percentage of money on beneficiaries. "Overheads" include costs of things like research, advocacy and data collection/ monitoring/ managing partnerships (often with small grassroots organisations). Also, small charities get away with low overheads largely because they're small. You can get away with no HR/ accounting function and using gmail/ google drive as your email system/ server when you've got income of 10k - not so much when you've got income of 10 million. Most charities leave it far too late to put in a basic organisational skeleton in place as they grow (which can really limit their growth and impact) and that's largely due to funders being unwilling to fund pretty essential things like IT systems because everyone wants to pin their name to a programme.

There are good and bad charities of all sizes. However, it's hard to become a big charity if you're utterly shit and cant execute a programme reasonably competently. My advice - forget about what they spend the money on and look at the impact on beneficiaries in terms of outcomes (what change did they bring about for those beneficiaries) and ability to bring about systemic change (i.e. is their model affordable at scale and does it build local capability in respect of international development programmes?).

Innocent smoothies are all fruit aren't they?

I read it as there’s no actual fruit in the factory, just various concentrates/pulps etc.

@needthisthread I don’t think the poster who’s talking about smoothies understands basic manufacturing processes or indeed labelling laws

I've worded it wrong.

People seem to think that the smoothies are like the smoothies you make at home but on a larger scale.

Big containers of liquid arrive at the factory and the smoothies are made from that

So what are you saying?

1. the factories have no actual whole fruit on site?
2. the smoothies don’t contain fruit in any shape or form?