Secrets of your trade.

[Confusedfornow]

I have worked in my current area of expertise for the last 20 years or so. It's in Aviation, can't say exactly what or for who as it's a relatively small community (for my role) and it would be VERY outing. Before this, my only other "job" that I did for a few years was dancing (yes, that kind ). So I don't have massive experience of the world of work.

But I was chatting with some people in a bar over the weekend and conversation turned to jobs and then to my role. I was telling them about some stuff which is perfectly normal to me, but was absolutely news to them.

For instance . .

When a plane is "parked" and everything is switched off, the aircraft is referred to as being "Cold and dark".

If a helicopter has engine failure, it won't just fall out of the sky. The pilots are trained in a procedure called "autorotation" and can usually land safely even if the engine isn't running at all.

All British Airways flights use the call sign "Speed Bird". It's unique and no other airline in the world uses it.

Last one . .

Pilots can't wear polarised sunglasses. They make the electronic displays on the flight deck appear black, and you can't read any information from them.

So, what do you know from your jobs that is mundane for you but which most people wouldn't have a clue/be surprised by?

Like the first person to hold the baby is the midwife rather than the DM or df?

I was the first person to hold my babies when they were born.

Community midwives have an sos hidden in their ID badges that can be activated without an aggressor knowing. It will record what is being said and can alert the emergency services who can track the MW’s location.

Babies are generally passed straight up to the mum these days, I was the first person to hold both of mine (in a hospital setting with medical interventions in both cases).

My babies weren’t passed to me, they were born in the water and I just fished them out.

Ds was in distress and nearly died- they literally pulled him out (forceps) put him on my chest for a second, then whisked him away. Even that brief second on my chest was them passing him to me before they whisked him away to work on him - I’m actually really emotional thinking of it now, as I know realise it was a deliberate act of kindness in a shit situation

How lovely you picked up your own babies from the water, so did your own birthing with no 'middle-man'!

passed straight to mum that's what I mean, that midwives grab babies instead of leaving them to mum to pick up their own babies, to sex them and so on.

Oh thats hard, yeah I wasn't talking about when intervention is required! How precious that moment however 'snatched'!

This is probably really boring, I work part time in NHS and lots of that has been covered.

I also work in supplying social housing, so much money gets wasted with nimby’s protesting about housing being built in their area. They are mostly white, male and in their sixties. They organise expensive barristers and then it goes to appeal with a planning inspector.
So much money, hundreds of thousands of pounds spent at planning appeals which is coming out of LA budgets to defend.

I know a senior Web developer/coder/software guy and he would like you to know that the real peeps DO NOT copy and paste from Google!!

What does that mean?

To everyone who has responded to my post - I’m so touched that my words have meant a something to you, and I honestly mean everything I have said.

I must say with regards to epidurals (in reference to another midwife’s post), I find the majority to work, and work really well. This is because we put effort into making them work, if they’re a little quirky at first I will do everything in my power to make that epidural work, if nothing I do changes that then I will ask the anaesthetist to re-site it. I will never leave you in pain.

@fluffylittleclouds
Yes, as midwives I think we are better informed and have better access to choice and involvement in birth. But it’s nothing that any other woman couldn’t have access to if she did her research and knew her options.
I had both my babies on my delivery suite. In fact I went well out of my way to do so (not my local trust). I trust my colleagues 100% and knew they were the best people to trust mine and my child’s life with. I’d make the same decision again in a heart beat. (And no it’s not weird, not one of them will even vaguely recall my most private parts, and I never felt undignified in the slightest, even at my most vulnerable).

With regards birth plans ... god yes please do document if you’d like skin to skin, feeding preferences, who you’d like to cut the cord ... but take it all with a pinch of salt. You simply cannot control birth. I can’t control birth, I can make it as safe and comfortable as possible, but I can’t make it how you pictured it in your birth plan.
It hurts my heart to read “no episotomy unless I absolutely need it” ... please please understand that I would never perform a surgical procedure on your perineum unless you and your baby needed it to survive or protect you in some way. Same thing with forceps, I wouldn’t allow a Dr to do a forceps delivery unless all other options were exhausted, I understand nobody wants it - it truly doesn’t need to be written in your birth plan.

@theyveallgone and @moofeatures thank you. Our midwives were so distressed when they delivered our angel baby and I’ll forever feel grateful to them for the compassion and care they showed us.

@smotheroffive

“ that midwives grab babies instead of leaving them to mum to pick up their own babies, to sex them and so on.”

What do you mean by this?

I really feel the need to tell you that my job is to protect your perineum from tearing and that means having my hands on your baby’s head and guiding it out.
It’s also my job to make sure your baby doesn’t get stuck on the way out, which involves gently encouraging baby out and in the same movement placing him/her on your chest.

But first and foremost it’s my job to respect your wishes. If you come to me and tell me not to touch your baby on the way out, I’ll tell you why I should, and if you’re sure then I won’t do it! I’m not here to force anything on any woman and it fills me with horror to think that someone would think I snatched their baby first.

If you want a table at the Ivy and it's completely fully booked, say it's for Christopher Biggins and a table will magically become available....!

Just that really, that it can seem overly managed. That women are so much laid on their backs whichbis closing down the pelvis and hindering baby doing its own wriggling around to get out. Women not laid on their backs also will move naturally to shift to accommodate the bay moving around on the way out. Everywater birth doesn't have MW s hands all over the DMs perineum.

I have to say I didn't ever have any of that, did have a natural large tear with one of mine,but no stitches. I never laid down either. Really weird how water birth wasn't something that appealed! Which it obviously does to many.

It's also really lying on your back that gives your hands that kind of access too?

Why are so many women still lying on their backs to give birth?

Will they not notice when biggns doesn't turn up?

90% of what is written about in the beauty parts of newspapers or magazines is PR guff in return for snaffling beauty product freebies. Don't believe the hype!

Yep. Why do so many believe all that guff!

What if Biggins has already booked a table?

I saw Luke Evans in The Ivy once.

I see what you’re getting at, that midwives encourage women onto their backs to enable access to safely deliver their babies.
And I totally respect what you’re saying, you don’t need to tell me how birth works best!

I had the most wonderful experience 2 nights ago, a lady giving birth on all 4s, I could see her pelvis stretching to accommodate baby, I could see her shifting her position to accommodate baby’s descent, she pushed how and when she liked. Frankly it was bloody amazing!
And yet I still managed to be ‘hands on’ and she came away with an intact perineum.

Being completely honest, in my opinion I think if women are encouraged onto their backs it’s for 2 reasons (this being from delivery suite, not birth centre or home birth experience):

• if we can’t monitor baby due to loss of contact on the monitor because of position then we put your baby, you, and us in a very vulnerable position. We are actively encouraged to do all we can to achieve good quality monitoring.
• epidural or remifentanil anaesthesia rendering a woman completely unable to mobilise.

Interestingly evidence suggests that a ‘hands on’ approach is the best for reducing tears and improving postnatal outcomes. That doesn’t mean a woman should be on her back though ...

All these midwife posts are making me smile. I had a planned home birth, I refused induction at 40+12 and began labour that day anyway.

I had written a whole birth plan out etc but then didn't even give in to the midwives. I had a whole playlist but didn't play anything. I had a pool but ended up getting out of it to actually get dd out (they threatened me with a catheter and I basically shit myself and noped out of the pool to get shit done).

My midwives were great :)

I honestly wasn't try to tell you your job

I was just saying how women can do it all by themselves mostly, and yes, getting on all fours will slow things down and allow perineal access, but others don't really so well,bit are good birthing positions.

I loved hearing your experience of watching a woman's pelvis opening and the mother/baby synergy of active birthing. Must be amazing privilege to be alongside as your daily work! Well, all other [NHS] constraints aside that is.

*both [are good birthing positions]

Frozen absolutely... I never did use a tens machine!! All the best laid plans etc...

NC rest