to be concerned about St Clare’s Ofsted report

[Alanamackree]

According to my dear friend Mrs Blyton, this is an excellent boarding school for girls. Am I being unreasonable to be concerned about rumors of rampant bullying, a French teacher who verbally abuses and humiliated her students, an unqualified substitute teacher and suggestions that the head may have covered up the attempted abduction of a student?

I’ve been considering Malory Towers as an alternative but I’m not sure that’s the best place for dd either.

@Yabbers I think you’re right and a governess might be the way to go but I’m just exhausted thinking about it all so I think it’s high time DH stepped up and took his share of the mental load. He’s interviewing a Miss Eyre for the position this afternoon and I’m going to chill out in our newly converted attic which is the only place I can a decent WiFi signal to mumsnet.

I have a nice Heide who lived in the campaign her Grandfather ,she doesn't seem to have much education apart from running around the mountains all day with the Goat Herd,would I be unreasonable to send her to Germany to be the the companion of a girl in a wheelchair ? She'll get an education too?

In the Alps FFS!

I hear good things about Miss Hinchin’s Seminary in London. After a friend of a friend who sent his daughter there died and was found to have lost his entire fortune leaving school fees unpaid, Miss Hinchin very kindly allowed the girl to stay and in fact hired her as a teaching assistant and to help out with light housekeeping duties so she could pay off the debt. Girl later claimed she’d been starved, overworked and ill-treated but she was a bit of a Little Princess type I understand, so I’d take that with a large pinch of salt.

The Chalet School does have an admirable attitude towards the domestic arts. One hears of occasions when the girls are allowed to miss out on doing their prep, due to time constraints, but still have to attend to their mending! Although the use of cod liver oil when making doughnuts is a bit of a blot on the domestic science curriculum.

I always wished I had gone to the Chalet School - definitely in the Bernese Oberland years, though - I did not fancy the ‘brown and flame’ uniform colours - gentian blue is much more me!

They won’t be Ofsted inspected, it’s an independent school

For those wanting a long term exclusive option - no school holidays and only very limited visiting hours - where your DDs can hang out with the Tsar and his family, I would recommend the Smolny Institute for Noble Maidens. It will produce bilingual children who don't speak their native tongue but who are good at dancing, reciting poetry and playing the pianoforte.

I second the poster who recommended St Custard's. It is a fine establishment - indeed, I myself initiated a prize for the best raffia work. So far, the winner has always been the same boy, a certain Master Grabber. He must be very talented as he is also Skool Captain and excels at every sport.

St Custards excel at foopball.

Apologies for typo above (wretched 'phone!) - shd be skool captane of course

I’ve heard the Skool sossidges are horrible though.

I've heard terrible things about Malory Towers. Girls falling over cliffs or being found unconscious on the side of the road at all hours of the night or beating each other up so badly they end up needing medical care and operations.

Oh, for goodness sake! You are a worrywart!

Girls are always falling over cliffs, and collapsing on the hard shoulder, and scratching each others' eyes out, bless them. As long as they have unfettered access to gin kittens and embroidery, they will be fine!

DH’s American cousin’s kids have a lovely wholesome education at a school in Walnut Grove. They believe consistency is the key to a good education - same classroom and teacher for all ages for all of their school years. The school even doubles up to be the local church on a Sunday where they sing the same hymn each week. Fabulous !

My children go to a small primary, they've recently been working on a lovely mural in the schoolyard, a beautiful fantasy scene with a dragon.

I used to work in the school where the real mural was!! It was a London primary, I was there doing admin for a year or so in the late 80s.

Back on thread, have you considered Kingscote? It's a lovely school so long as you don't mind about all the star roles in school plays, top spots on sports teams and just about everything else going to the same family. And tell your DD to on no account use the phone in the secretary's office.

Schools such as that are certainly character-building Francis.

This was how we had an Empire.

I'm wondering about sending my DDs to a school where they'll pick up some useful vocational skills.

Does anyone have an opinion on the schools that turned out The Girls from N.O.O.D.L.E.S (National Organisation for Order, Discipline and Law Enforcement in Schools) or The Girl From D.O.R.S.E.T. (Department to Overcome Rebels, Spies, Enemies and any other Threats) ?

If one is looking for a governess, I do believe that Susan Sto Helit takes a very refreshing view of the trouble with monsters under the bed.

If one fails to secure her services, then her alma mater of Quirm College should be an excellent choice, given that it keeps one's PFB away from the perils of Ankh Morpork.

I'd consider Mrs Florence's 'Nunnery' - a subsidiary of the Arrowmouth (AKA Dartmouth) College - were it not that they humiliate its pupils by making them carry damp towels across the common; and feed them a nasty diet of 'pudding'. Rose Red's there, and she's a laugh a minute but as for snooty Lily and those pesky flirts up in Attic Row, pfffffft!

I've heard Whytleleafe is pure purgatory - they breed nasty little conformists who even devise and impose their own punishments on non-conformists! (Shudder).

As for Malory Towers, the place has a horrible reputation. Bullying's rife; thug Darrell and superbitch Alicia make scapegoat Gwen look positively benign by comparison. Dreadful health and safety, some nasty 'accidents', insular attitudes towards Americans, the French and the nouveau riche ... nnnnooooo! Spare your daughters this hellhole and enroll them in progressive Trebizon instead.

Our governess has worked wonders with our family. Really her title is 'nanny' but the whole family has come along in leaps and bounds with their musical education. Why, most of our communication is now done in song! And the children have learned some wonderful dance routines, albeit partly taught by chimney sweeps.
And their imaginations have soared! They are full of chatter about tea parties on the ceiling, horse races inside street pictures and tidying up using magic.

My husband now comes kite flying each weekend and has been promoted at work!

Dragon - from the sounds of it you are now employing the nanny we were forced to dismiss.

Though a paragon in many ways, we could not afford to keep replacing umbrellas when she had a bad landing, and you wouldn't believe how much sugar (and Benylin) she went through!

In addition to this we often found the kitchen full of random cartoon animals and talking carousel horses.

I didn't mind, personally, but it really upset the dog.

If you need a nanny OP, my neighbours, the Darlings, have a wonderful dog who babysits their appalling brats high-spirited children. No human nanny would put up with the little toads - the one in the top hat is a right little prig!.

Oh dear schauden I am so sorry to hear that. I had noticed a few little issues creeping in....medicine bottles now full of cordial, shopping not done (cook sent her to buy fish and gingerbread and nanny came back empty handed). However our house keeper is ever so much more cheerful since she came and we don't have a dog so no problems there. The neighbours dog has started hanging around on the doorstep though. He seems to adore her.

I think the only safe option would be to give up on school and hire a governess.

How can you be sure that they aren't a pole dancer at night to make up for their usually low pay?

I'd be wary of The Darlings dog though. I heard the children were kidnapped on her watch. Snatched right out of the nursery by a young foreigner and his evil sidekick.