I am intersex: ask me anything.

[MsXY]

Happy to answer any questions, no matter how personal.

Yes apologies , I realise the stupidity of my comment . I am here to learn and You are educating me so thank you

No, I don't have children, sadly. I have mixed feelings about IVF/donor eggs and think I'm too old now.

I have told most romantic partners and had mixed reactions. I haven't told any about the XY chromosomes, for various reasons.

If you have XY chromosomes, what is it that makes ou intersex, rather than a typical female?

It feels terribly personal to ask such a question, and I certainly wouldn’t want or expect you to go into detail; some generalities would be sufficient!

Oh God sorry, I got my chromosomes middle up. Ignore me.

Females are XX @waterlego

Do people usually respond sensibly?

No-one has said anything deliberately provocative or nasty, but one idiot friend (Oxford PhD) commented, as a "joke", that I wouldn't want to go out with his dog as he (the dog) had had his gonads removed. As a) I don't tend to go in for bestiality and b) I have had my gonads removed and don't consider it to be a reason that would put someone off having a relationship with me, the joke didn't go down too well. Same person, when I told him about XY chromosomes asked if I wanted him to call me Fred.

It feels terribly personal to ask such a question.

Well it is personal, but I did offer! And it's also anonymous.

I think it’s really generous of you, and much appreciated, thank you.

Can’t believe I got those the wrong way round! I’m the first to admit I’m not great at Science, but that’s pretty basic 😬

I think it’s really generous of you, and much appreciated, thank you.

That's okay.

Anything else?

Excuse my ignorance but other than having your testes/ovaries removed and your chromosomes being XY, if your genitalia is clearly female what are the other physical impacts on your body? How did anyone know to test you for an intersex condition?

What I said earlier - I didn't go through puberty at the expected time. Other physical impact is mainly osteoporosis due to lack of oestrogen.

So you have always identified as female? Do you think if there had been some external element to your genitalia that rendered it sightly male looking.. that that would have had an impact on how you identified?

I guess what im asking is do you feel your gender identity is innate or that it is a product of what you saw/how you were brought up/what you were told you were?

Thanks.. im sorry if thats too personal, I just find it interesting as the concept of gender identity is so complex.. its very interesting to hear the views of someone who has this condition x

Hello and thank you for this conversation.
I'd like to ask - are you 'out' as intersex, or do you 'present' as male or female publicly? Or is it that while you are 'technically' intersex you are male or female in 'yourself'?
I do hope that my clumsy question is not offensive in any way.

Do you think it is a good thing that you didn't find out about your condition until you were a teenager? Or would it have been better to have known about it all along?

So you have always identified as female? Do you think if there had been some external element to your genitalia that rendered it sightly male looking.. that that would have had an impact on how you identified?

Well maybe it would, as that is the main difference at birth and in childhood, but there wasn't so it's a bit of a moot point! Yes, I've always identified as female. There was no reason not to.

I guess what im asking is do you feel your gender identity is innate or that it is a product of what you saw/how you were brought up/what you were told you were?

I don't think my gender identity is any different to anyone else's, as it was formed well before I was diagnosed. I was "told" I was female as there was no reason to doubt that. There was never any decision to be made in my case.

I think that gender identity is probably a combination of nature (hormones and body shape/size/strength) and nurture, but perhaps more of the latter as I did not have any female hormones or secondary sexual characteristics until I was in my late teens and that did not stop me identifying as female.

I'd like to ask - are you 'out' as intersex, or do you 'present' as male or female publicly? Or is it that while you are 'technically' intersex you are male or female in 'yourself'?

No, I'm not "out". Very few people know.

The idea of "presenting" is potentially offensive, so I would be careful expressing that. I am a woman; I just happen to have the "wrong" chromosomes. I may be infertile, but I do not have testes, I do not have facial or male-pattern body hair, I do not have a penis, I cannot produce sperm, etc., etc. There is nothing male about me, except for a Y chromosome which stopped my ovaries from developing properly and which has not produced any visible male characteristics.

There is no "choice" to be made: I am female, so I guess your last sentence is correct - i.e. intersex is, in a sense, a technicality.

Do you think it is a good thing that you didn't find out about your condition until you were a teenager?

No, not at all. It would have be far better, psychologically and medically, to have been diagnosed earlier and to have been able to start taking HRT in order to go through puberty at the appropriate time. I would then have been less likely to develop osteoporosis.

Thanks for your answers and explanations. It's a very enlightening thread.

Sorry, as I say, I have no intention to offend, I suppose my post just shows my ignorance on intersex. Thanks for explaining.

Thanks for your answers and explanations. It's a very enlightening thread.

I'm glad.

Sorry, as I say, I have no intention to offend, I suppose my post just shows my ignorance on intersex. Thanks for explaining.

No offence taken.

How did you become aware that you had Swyer Syndrome?

How did you become aware that you had Swyer Syndrome?

As I said, because I didn't go through puberty. This, or difficulty conceiving, is how intersex conditions are usually detected.

Thank you OP, it’s really good to learn a bit about an intersex condition from someone who has one.

As you have a Y chromosome do you have higher levels of testosterone than an XX female?

Thanks for offering yourself up to our questions. It really is nice of you.

Thank you for the information you have provided. I feel like I know a lot more now.