Embarrassed by boyfriend

[DogDmor]

Been seeing someone for around 3 months. We get in we'll but he's quirky, which is fine - well I thought it was. Sometimes I'm starting to think he's just plain odd.

He's overweight and said he wanted to get fitter so I suggested he come along to my karate class. He did and I ended up mortified. He wore scruffy old jogging suit bottoms with paint on them and a massive baggy t-shirt with Harry Potter on. Whenever instructor showed him something he giggled. Instructor is hard arse, old school - I've known him for years and knew he was going to react badly. After 3 or so giggling moments and DB stood in weird positions and flapping his arms around like a little girl instructor said "what are you giggling at? Are you a girl or what? Do you have something wrong with you?". Everyone was looking. DB started stuttering and instructor carried on with "you know this is karate and not ballet don't you? Are you in the wrong class?". DBs face went bright red. I was mortified and just wanted to hide. Another female instructor said "alright, it's his first day" so instructor said "but what's he giggling at?". Anyway later on instructor came over to me and said "where the hell did you find him? Is he one of your patients or something?" I was so embarrassed I just said "he's a neighbour".

After the class I asked DB why he kept laughing. I'd warned him beforehand about the instructor. He replied "it was funny, I thought I looked silly!" So I said "you did, why did you act like that? It's a class full of martial artists, nobody else was acting like that" do he looked embarrassed and said "I don't know" so I said he shouldn't come again as instructor will have it in for him now. He got upset and said "but I like spending time with you" so I snapped and farted and said "well you embarrassed me, I've been going there for years and now I don't want to go back because of you, find your own hobby".

Anyway this isn't an isolated incident, a couple of weeks ago he embarrassed me in a cafe shouting and making a scene. In private we get on really well but in private he mortifies me.

He still wants to come to karate with me tonight. AIBU to tell him I don't want him there?

This like that penis beaker nonsense. People falling over laughing about a fart typo.

I've rarely found anything less funny.

I think it’s because it’s not a typo that makes it funny. Each to their own.

I’m just hoping op’s return from her martial farts class doesn’t clash with love island tonight

Yes because this happened.

Next it will be Martial Sharts class

So instead of pmsl I'm now thinking fdws...fart dropped whilst snapping

I've rarely found anything less funny

Then do bore off. There's always one misbag to come along and piss on everyone's chips 🙄

Martial Farts???! Pahahahhahahaha

oh did the pissed on the chair thread get removed?

i must admit, I can't see how "snapped and farted" can be a typo and OP has blithely ignored our comments....perhaps waiting to see how long the thread will last?

OP probably isn’t coming back? She must be ripping it.....

7 yo DS....

"I've never heard you laugh like that mum"....

I am peeing pants

#Snapped&Farted

@LittleDittyAbout it's funny because it wasn't a typo and the OP just casually said that she snapped and farted like it's a normal every day thing to do. Can you imagine the me tal image? OP is glaring at her BF. Her face, already a bit pink from exercise, turn red, then a deep crimson slowly edging into a purple around the edges. A vein in her temple is throbbing, her left eye us ever so slightly twitching, her lips are quivering as if she is about to launch into an angry tirade at any moment. But, just as she seems to be about to start screaming at the top of her lungs, she let's out a very loud, long, high pitched fart that echos around the silent training room ricochetting off the walls and hard lacquered floors to echo back at them.

I've come back. I had to leave through laughter. Now I'm crying, literally cannot stop laughing. The thread that keeps on giving

This is amazing.

@AbsolutelyBeginning

Your comments/fart related songs have killed me 😂

What’s the pissing on the chair thread?

My guess is farting was just an act of rebellion OP.
OP, are you generally just a have-it-all- together person? Someone who believes girls don’t fart ? My guess is that your fart was a passive explosive gesture!!

I adore this thread. The reminders of the Sistine Chapel screamer and the jizz on coursework have utterly killed me off.

Don't let him go again, if he pisses about any worse you might have to shit yourself.

I am now crying again after showing my husband this thread, he said I'm a special kind of weird 😂

Ah, you have what is officially known as 'The Ick'. Once you have The Ick it will never go and you will notice more and more things about him that you dislike, which is why you're being mean about him. You should end it so you can both move on and be happy.

I think this is the truth. I had The Ick once. Gradually the boyfriend in question just started to annoy and embarrass me more and more by just existing. I didn't introduce him if we met someone I knew, and cringed inwardly about being seen with him, instead of feeling ashamed of my own behaviour (which would have been more appropriate). He started to repulse me. I can't even say why. He was a perfectly nice man. I can still feel The Ick when his picture flashes up in my "people you may know" on FB. He's happily married to someone who presumably doesn't have The Ick with him, and I'm with someone who I don't have The Ick with. The only way to deal with The Ick is to break up.

Also, your instructor is a sexist cunt.

paaaarrrrp

No decent instructor, however old school, would expect someone at their first lesson to understand the etiquette everyone else was expected to follow.
No decent instructor would be fazed by a new student covering their discomfort with giggling.
No decent instructor would try and teach a brand new white belt along with a mixed grade class- they'd send the newbie off to the corner with a black belt/senior student to take it at their own pace.
No decent instructor would belittle a new student.
No decent instructor would use sexist stereotypes to insult someone.
No decent instructor would criticise one student to or in front of another.

Do you see where I'm heading, OP?

I’m a bit upset I missed the jizz on coursework one

Snapped and shouted ...
Snapped and had a meltdown ..
Snapped and left him ..

Nope. Snapped and farted.

Hey, I wonder if any world leaders have tried this tactic?

😂😄😂

My 10 year fats when she's anxious. Poor DB he really deserves better than that sexist instructor!

💨

Is this the same OP who turned around and urinated on the chair?

If so she starts all my favourite threads

We’ve all done it, had a fury fart. It’s ok.

I've never done a fury fart, but this thread has given me such huge belly laughs I've farted twice.