Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

[AjasLipstick]

I am a Brit in Oz and for me, the hardest thing to get used to was Sunday trading hours being like the UK in the 70s.

The weirdest thing was how much less formal people are...kids are dressed very informally and parties for children never have kids dressed up in party dresses but in shorts and t shirts. I like it now I'm used to it though.

I can't remember who said which things, but to answer a few other comments: I definitely rinse my dishes, but my DH doesn't . That said he also eats chips with mayonnaise, so maybe I need to think about divorce?

Yes, the reply to alright is either alright, or hello, hi etc. When I lived in the US, it took me a while to realise when people asked 'how are you' (which every single person did regardless of where you were, supermarket checkout etc) they didn't actually expect 'i very well thank you, how are you?' in return. I think either 'how are you' or just 'good' is enough.

Also in the US, how friendly and chatty everyone is. But also will tell you their life story within 2 mins of meeting. Not being offered a drink as soon as you get through the door. Not being as bothered about what people think of you. Drivers not letting you in, in fact going out of their way to drive you off the road (sometimes, obviously!).

Re the poster who mentioned dictation, I had to do this weekly as a child in France. It's actually very good for spelling (plus I enjoyed it because it was one thing I was good at!)

To the poster who said in Ireland you are supposed to refuse a drink 3 times before you say yes, this is fascinating! Why is it considered rude to say yes first time (for future reference if it comes up!)

Portugal to the UK (now back).

Sandwiches for lunch.
First names (here it's a minefield of titles and informal/formal "you").
Going to the pub.
School uniforms.
"Hot weather" at 25 oC.
The dislike of brown in clothes.
The class issue.
How drivers merge in traffic.
Card culture.
Please and thank you for everything.

Oh, the tea culture.

“Kitty. As in put money into a kitty (when you get to a pub). What the hell is a kitty? Why is it called a kitty? Why can’t I buy my own drink? Why can’t I just give you the money when I want another one? Why do we need to create this atmosphere when some of us nurse one drink for an hour and others have 6 pints?”

No clue why it’s called a kitty... but it’s fine to not go in on one, it’s just to save the hassle of someone getting money every time you go to the bar, if you drink at a different pace - you can just say, I drink faster/slower, I’ll get my own.

Brit in the US here

Drink driving
Sandwiches, they put SO much meat and cheese in them
Portion sizes in restaurants are huge and everyone just takes home a doggy bag of leftovers....even french fries
Each town runs its own services (own police, fire, rubbish collections etc)
The banking is about 5 years behind the UK, we only just got chip cards and still dont have chip and pin
School doesnt start until age 5
The weather, it doesnt just rain and look grey most days, but their best days still cant compete with a perfect summer day in the UK

Oh yes, the German mania for seasonal decorations. Grown adults covering their windows with leaves cut out of coloured tracing paper and toadstools (!) in the autumn, and snowmen in the winter. The coloured plastic eggs on the bushes in people's gardens from weeks before Easter. And the general mania for Basteln (roughly = crafts, for the uninitiated). Every nursery and primary school the dc have been in has invited the mothers (always the mothers) to a Bastel-afternoon at some point. Reader, I have never been.

The clapping. At every school concert there will be a number (at least one) during which the audience will start to clap in time. Cringey cringe. You understand where is comes from when you see the Volksmusik shows (sort of oompah meets Europop) on prime time telly and the regular shots of audiences of elderly people sitting grim-faced and clapping in rhythm. The day I join in with school-concert clapping will be the day I lose my identity.

Notwithstanding the decoration obsession, Germans are (as yet) more tasteful about Christmas than Brits. There's less 'stuff' and less hype.

Lived in Oz for long time until recently - find Australians very superficial - as long as you say Fine, they are fine. Any other expression of feeling leaves them reeling and indifferent.

I find many Australian women (and most men) hard and emotionally unavailable - back in the UK it's a delight to find people who talk feelings.

your response to "alright" is either "alright" or "hi/hello"! So when my NDN says "Hi Mere, you all right?" is that still just a greeting? And I should still reply just with "all right" or "Hi"?

Brilliant thread! And useful...about to move to Australia from UK in a couple of weeks and thanks to this thread I won't have to make a fool of myself using the term 'rooting around'

Brit in Belgium:
The seasonal decorations
The way in which stuff disappears from the shops, so once Easter is over, all the chocolate eggs vanish, no cheapies to buy for scoffing.
Belgian cappuccino....coffee with whizzy cream
A speculoos biscuit with coffee every time
Shops shutting for lunch, and the bank, and being shut on Mondays
Very little Sunday trading (which I love as people get a day off)
The bloody bureaucracy
Can't get comprehensive insurance on an older car
They drive like checking lunatics, especially the tests in Aid is, and a safe distance from the car in front is considered by them as a spot you've saved for them to change lane.
The change over five lanes from fast to slow with no regard for any other car that happens to be in the way.
No Lurpak. I can but Lurpak in Carrefour in Oman, so why can't I buy it in Brussels? So much for the Single Market.

Working in RSA

Me: Hi Claude. Can you please send me the month end fx rates?
Claude: Sure, I'll do it just now.
Me [half an hour later] - er Claude, where are they?
Claude: Ja, I said I'll do it just now

Learning: Just now doesn't mean now. It means, it's on my list and I'll do it when I get round to it , roughly at some point today.

Now living in HK.

• If you go out as a group with Hk'ers,, all dishes are shared - even if you go to pizza express you'll all share a few pizzas, pastas and salads between you. It would be weird just to order your own.

• When someone asks if you've eaten lunch yet, they're really asking you if you're ok, so you say yes, even if you haven't.

• If you have a cold, you have to wear a surgical mask to work or everyone will think you're a skank.

• "No boxed gifts" means "cash please", not "no gifts" - I believe this is also used in India.

• You HAVE to take your shoes off if you go into someone's home. Even if two delivery men are juggling a sofa they will still somehow manage to slip their shoes off at the door.

Aussie in the Netherlands - the attitude that to be "normal" was the best you could aspire to, and no matter how much more you had in common with people, you would never socialise with them, because they only socialise with people they went to highschool or uni with.

Oh, and mayo on chips, too! (We call fries chips as well as crisps - I was referring to the hot ones.)

tooFew and don't be shocked when people refer to someone good looking as "a spunk" either!

Bloody awful phrase.

WomanFormerly Really? I have to say that for me it's been the opposite! Since moving to Australia, I've met so many amazing and open women...who genuinely want to get to know me or help me in some way.

I live in SA...where do you live?

I've lived in UK for 13 years and absolutely love it! Things I found weird were:

• not rinsing the washing up liquid off dishes. My british MIL thought I was being ever so fancy for doing so!
• children starting school at 4yo, seems like they're so little still
• alchol after work every day to unwind
• being called 'Love' by strangers
• giving out instructions by saying 'do you want to do so and so' instead of just saying 'do so and so'. I've learned that one a hard way!

Oh and if I'm greeted with 'alright' I reply 'yes, you?'.

One of the greatest perversities of German 'cuisine' is what they call 'red and white chips', which involves chips with mayonnaise AND ketchup, at once. I detest mayonnaise, so this is perhaps why I find this so disgusting. I also find Nutella disgusting.

Tea, when ordered in a standard restaurant (i.e. not a place in a hip spot in Berlin that's got used to catering for foreigners), coming as a cup (usually a clear glass cup) of hot water that's gone off the boil, with the world's most ineffectual teabag and a slice of lemon on the side, no milk, and if you ask for it they bring Kaffeesahne (essentially condensed milk).

Scandi in UK..
Took me ages to realise that 'alright?' doesn't mean that you look awful and in need of immediate help.

Also the constant 'sorry' and 'thank you'. I always found it strange that if I was accidentally in someone's way in the shop, they would squeeze past me while apologising. Even though it was me who was on their way.

And the thousand thank yous when a waiter is serving food or drinks to you. Now I'm fluent in it myself.

And often if you want black tea all they have is Earl Grey. My dh (German, but doesn't drink coffee and adores English tea) hates Earl Grey and tends to take his own supplies of imported Tetley everywhere.

Oh the US has that horrible tea thing too. You have to ask for hot tea, to make sure they dont accidentally give you iced tea, and then its just a cup of hot water with a tea bag on the side (and often cream to mix in, not milk...yuck)

And the mixed drinks. If you ask for a G and T its 90% G with just a splash of T, it just blows you away with one sip.. I have to ask for a really weak pour and they think I am crazy. The exception is if you go somewhere posh and then they make the cocktails properly

Spain

Parents seem to consider their sons their little princess whereas daughters need to be treated strictly and expected to behave maturely.

Family is way, way more important than to British and French people (my family's French but I grew up, studied and lived and worked as an adult in U.K.)

Also, going out in large family groups.

Eating a proper 2 course lunch with cutlery.

Sibling in matching clothes - I know another poster on another thread said she'd never seen this in Spain but it's one of the things that hit me when I first came.

Many people don't really seem to take holidays outside of summer, Easter (a one week holiday) and the Christmas/3 Kings period.

Many people stay in Spain for their holidays, certainly fewer travel abroad for holidays than in the U.K.

Second and third and fourth homes in the family which are travelled to frequently at weekends.

This thread is so interesting. I’d love to know more about some of the posters, like why they moved to the place they did and what they do there (especially the one in India). Understandably that would be outing though.

I lived in Kuala Lumpur for a while and it has a similar level of polite questioning that caught me off guard. It’s not unusual to be asked about number of siblings, relationship status, job, level of wealth etc just in a normal every day conversation with a stranger. I had gotten used to it by the time I left though.

When I moved back to the UK I found myself having to control my level of questioning of others so as not to appear like an identity thief.

mere, it depends on the kind of 'alright'. If it's just one word which doesn't go up at the end (is not a question) you can just say 'alright' or 'hi' back. If your ndn asks 'you alright', I would take that as a question and reply 'good thanks, you?' or something not too flowery (just in case they were going for a greeting 'alright' as opposed to a question 'alright'

Yes to tea in other countries, my American neighbour offered me a tea, I accepted and asked for milk in it and was presented with a (warm at least) green tea with milk. Twas disgusting. My fault for not thinking.

Americans also found me very odd for apologising for everything and kept saying 'why are you sorry'?

Canadian in the UK:

-no idea why all the veg and fruit is wrapped in plastic packaging
-roads are sooooo tiny
-ambulances look like police cars
-mince pies (was not what I was expecting at all!)
-council tax
-how competitive school spots are and how so many people want to or aspire to send their kids to private school.
-how nothing is truly open 24/7 even pharmacies
-no drive through coffee shops or none easily available
-how ridiculously overpriced public transportation is
-how much everyone loves to drink

Aussie DiL raised a few eyebrows in this household earlier this morning referring to her DS as "a spunk"

[i just ran off to tell MN 😀]