Expats, tell me what aspect or social norm of your new country was strange to you?

[AjasLipstick]

I am a Brit in Oz and for me, the hardest thing to get used to was Sunday trading hours being like the UK in the 70s.

The weirdest thing was how much less formal people are...kids are dressed very informally and parties for children never have kids dressed up in party dresses but in shorts and t shirts. I like it now I'm used to it though.

I don't care how many varieties are produced, UK cheese cannot match French or Italian cheese!!! :)

I think the difference in the funerals is that in Catholicism you can say prayers on behalf of the dead, so the more turning up to pray for your soul the better.

In Protestantism it is more of each man for himself, so if you’re already in hell (no purgatory) there’s nothing anyone can do.

This is one of the most interesting threads I have read here.

Cultural differences are one thing, but I think we are more alike than we think we are when the surface is scratched!

Actually some of the UK cheeses are incredibly tasty, definitely rivalling those from France and Italy. Same goes for UK sparkling wine.

Yy, if you are in a Brit's house and you aren't offered a drink it's silent code for "You being here is really inconvenient and I wish I wasn't too polite to tell you that I need you to leave as I have things to do"

I used to love doggy bags from US restaurants, but we soon learnt to only say yes to the stuff (like pizza!) that we would eat the next day. I can't, though, get my head around offers at places like Olive Garden where you buy one meal and get one meal to take home for the next day

We live in a predominantly Catholic country at the moment, and it's very much the custom here to go to the funeral of someone that you only vaguely know, or that you never met but was the family member or friend of someone that you know. Funeral and reception details are published in the papers well in advance so that as many people as possible will attend: it's seen as a high status thing to a) have the funeral at certain places; and b) have a very large crowd attending.

Yolo - British children (some anyway) are brought up that writing thank you cards is the proper way as it takes more effort than a phone call. Plus it has a permanency (as much as a card can be permanent?) so the recipient of the card can keep it. For some special or meaningful gifts you might write an extra special message which you'd want the recipient to keep.

I've never experienced (or hosted anyone) without offering them a drink in the UK, that's a massive social faux pas.

Unless, of course, you've committed a massive one yourself first (I'm thinking of a few examples like MIL calling around and letting herself in, or the weird European colleague who tried to invite themselves for dinner and then made an alarming comment about popping around for some social reason*).

(* because me sitting around in stained jogging bottoms and a too big old t-shirt doesn't quite gel with the professional demeanor I generally need to present to colleagues!)

So yes, if you called around uninvited or at a really bad time like I was getting ready to go out, I'd try my best to avoid letting you come in - and the backup plan would be to not offer a drink. Sorry.

@Ollena

"Yy, if you are in a Brit's house and you aren't offered a drink it's silent code for "You being here is really inconvenient and I wish I wasn't too polite to tell you that I need you to leave as I have things to do" wink"

Ah ha.... so that is why there is so much angst about people who just "pop" in unnanounced. Yay. We have an aswer!

www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/11573124/How-British-cheese-took-over-the-world-even-the-French-love-it.html

Obviously a biased article but the UK does so pretty impressive cheese, so coming from a country that doesn't really "do cheese it's something you'd notice. Obviously France does amazing Brie etc and England amazing cheddars... It wasn't about which one was best but what you'd notice coming from a different country. It's certainly something I've missed when abroad!

One thing I noticed in Australia was sausages are predominantly lamb whereas it would usually be pork here. I wasn't too keen on that (or cost of food in general there!) But for lamb lovers (my husband) it's definitely a good place for lamb!

I do love a nice card every now and then, but sometimes it just feels a bit impersonal compared to a phone call where you can ask them what they're doing for their birthday, etc. If you're going to see the person IRL anyway, you may as well say thank you to them in person.

I'm not sure it's just politeness. For a lot of people cards seem to be a good way of avoiding actually having to speak to the person.

Having said that, I think both methods have their place!

People seem to walk without paying attention to where they are going in the UK. They usually apologise after they have rammed you though!

British children (some anyway) are brought up that writing thank you cards is the proper way as it takes more effort than a phone call.

Exactly that. Thank you letters were an after-birthday or after-Christmas chore to be done in my childhood. If we saw someone in person it was great as then I could just say thank you to them and would be let off my thank you letter duties! A thank you letter in our house would have to be a lot more than just "Dear X, thank you for the Y, love Z". It was like extra homework. I'd have loved to just phone them up! I appreciate it now as I know how to write a nice letter and love to receive them too.

I find that in Australia, people are VERY relaxed about small children's behaviour and there's a lot of benevolent smiling at the sort of stuff which would have people raging in the UK.

I've sort of got used to it now and I do notice that kids are very outspoken and confident and wonder if that's to do with them not being so quashed when smaller.

Back in England now but when I lived in America all of mine were food/ drink related - bread and milk tasted really sweet and I couldn’t get used to that. Melted (horrid) cheese on almost everything in restaurants. I also couldn’t get used to driving there, lack of indication and so much honking the horns ( I was in Boston). And obviously I missed proper tea!

Also lived in France and struggled with the weird opening hours/ banks being closed on Mondays/ offices I needed to do business with closed on Wednesday afternoons etc. This was a very long time ago though so might be different now.

Agree that if you're not being offered a tea of coffee in a British person's house - it's more likely to be a reflection on you, than them!

@TheDowagerCuntess

That would be those Popping In Unnanounced ahem. Don't bloody blame the potential hosts TBH.

We have amazing cheese! Not in most supermarkets, but there is a cheese shop near me that sells the most delicious blue cheeses, Cheddar, Wensleydales. And my local butcher does the best bacon. If you come here and expect to be able to get excellent food from your nearest Tesco Metro you will be dissapointed, but good food does exist in Britain..

Yes, there is some truth in not offering a drink for a while = don’t want you here. But there’s generally an impression people do not want visitors or guests in their homes in the UK. It is a very introverted nation (which suits my temperament TBF). This was not directed at me personally, not at all. I spoke to H about it and he never noticed anything was off, to him it was normal and as expected. But it is a stark difference between Eastern/Western cultures.

We use points of reference we were socialised to use and it takes a while to amend those points of reference. After having lived in a few different cultures, you realise there are no impolite nations, nor inhospitable nations. They are polite according to the norms of their society or hospitable to the standards their society expects. It is no good judging other culture from the outside using alien to them points of reference. Completely useless exercise at best and erroneous at worst.

They are polite according to the norms of their society or hospitable to the standards their society expects

This is very true. Earlier today I was talking to someone when their phone rang: they abruptly stopped talking to me, answered the call, spoke for a minute or two then put their phone down and carried on with our conversation as if nothing had happened. I think it's incredibly rude, but it's just how phone calls are dealt with here, and I'm having to learn to deal with it. (Being English I'm very good at the inward seethe, of course!)

I also couldn’t get used to driving there, lack of indication and so much honking the horns ( I was in Boston).

Yes - this is exactly what drivers are like in Boston. I dread driving there! And I used to live in London.

BananainPyjama Private school is very common here

Actually, they would probably be better referred to as non-Gov't schools, as many of these are Catholic systemic schools, which are definitely not considered to be private schools and are generally reasonably affordable. Then, there are other schools, some under the umbrella term GPS (Greater Public Schools), which is a different matter.

I went to my local Catholic school back in the Middle Ages because my parents were Catholic and it was just automatic to send your child to one. They were adamant, as Labor voters, that it wasn't ever to be considered a private school - which it certainly was not.

Nowadays, they sort of tout themselves as a cheaper alternative to private schools with an emphasis on pastoral care.

@SundayGirls Bidets have their own little towels placed on a hook next to them (usually one per person or one per couple) and you also get special bidet detergent/soap You can have a bidet as often as you wish, but usually you'd be more inclined to have one after you've been for a number 2. You use your hands just like you would to wash your face. In the summer people also use bidets to freshen up between showers - nothing nicer than a quick bidet when you're hot and sweaty, also you can wash your feet in it (this calls for a separate foot towel). You would normally only use a bidet at home and not at other people's houses.

After I explained all this to my British DH, he was mightily confused when we visited my parents and there was goldfish in the bidet (my mum was washing out the tank and had plonked them in there for a few minutes).

Brit living in a Spanish area of southern Spain, non touristy.

People not recycling, everything goes into the rubbish.
Using street skips for rubbish and also taking anything useful out of said skip if anyone feels like it.
Siesta, the working day is so long!
General chaos that is my local supermarket, super noisy, shouting etc, not for a day with a hangover!
No manners on footpaths, no awareness there might be anyone behind them, I run and they particularly hate me and I'm very polite and don't expect right of way but my god they make me angry.
Drinking beer is acceptable walking down the street.
Sunday closing of shops but I like that.
The police take no messing and security guards are often equipped with guns, I think the UK needs more of this.
Sunday is a real family day and all generations go out.
If you ask have you anything vegetarian, yes we have tuna, I'm still considered a freak in someplaces.
Drink driving.
Swimming in the sea outside the summer season is considered odd.
Taking off your coat before summer will get you lots of dirty looks from older Spanish ladies.
Religious festivals, parading, practicing for the parade, I don't know if they are really religious or it's a good old excuse for a piss up but they can be carrying these heavy artefacts in the sun for hours so fair dues.
Churros and chocolate and so many of them, sickly.

I probably have more but all in all I love Spain.

Wrt opening birthday presents during the party - this was the done thing where I live in the US. It happened after the birthday meal, slice of cake each, and singing of Happy Birthday. Once children turned about 10 or 11 parties began to get smaller and it wasn't done any more, and also at that point everyone started giving gift cards to Claires and such.

There were never any issues with it - no children ever tried to play with any presents, it was treated as funny if presents were duplicated, and often the children assisted whatever adult was trying to keep track of who gave what for the purposes of thank you cards. The opening was accompanied with 'oooohs' and 'aaaaahs' and applause, and the party child said a nice 'thank you' to each guest.

If you swim outside of the lifeguard season here you can get ordered out of the water. Rip tides and currents close to shore change seasonally.