When I get in the bath and it's a bit hot I always

[HoneyDragon]

Sing the end bit of International Playboys. Can't help myself, it just comes out.

Go on then people. Out irrational odd habit that one....

When getting on a bus 'double seat, double seat, gotta get a double seat' from a Ben Elton sketch.

After dinner - 'where's me pudding?' ala grandad from Bread.

You don't see Club biscuits around much these days, but if you do it has to be 'if you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our Club'.

If anyone asks if I want something from the shop I aitomatically reply 'Cornetto' a la Sean of the Dead.

Getting something out of my bag I'll often produce it with a flourish and say 'ooooh le sac magique'.

Also have to do the 'have you got the key?' 'Yes and ive got the secret' thing whenever in a hotel.

DP and I have taken to adding 'boo' to the dog's name, which has now morphed into me singing the Chicken boo theme tune from the Animaniacs at him, 'Freddy boo what's the matter with you, you don't behave like other Freddies do, you wear a disguise to look like human guys but you're not a man you're a Freddy boo'. Dog is underwhelmed by this. In other Animaniacs news I always want to finish phone conversations with 'ok lady I love you bye bye'.

If someone tells me to put the kettle on I say 'it wouldn't fit me' which is a piss poor grandad joke but I can't help it.

If Leeds comes up in conversation I always say 'don't talk to ME about sophistication, I've BIN to Leeds!'

I have to say 'exactly' in my poor imitation of a Scouse accent thanks to those lads in the milk advert years ago (was it milk?).

When leaving the house for an extended period I have to say 'byeeee house' and when leaving a holiday place I also say 'bye house' which DP finds irritating so I still do it but in a mock sad whisper, and I'll add 'I love you'.

If DP tells me I look/smell nice I'll always say 'I am nice'.

I'm amazed I have any friends really.

Just remember that I also have to say 'sheeps' whenever we pass sheep.

If my kids say "I'm thirsty" I have to reply with "I'm Friday, how do you do?"

And DP and I have an annoying habit of being able to turn almost any sentence into a song lyric. It's an art I swear. I almost cried with relief when his sister joined us with the geekiness on Saturday night at dinner.

Songs range from 70s to modern day. No word is safe from a serenade at the end.

DP and I now line them up for each other.

We often are friendless.

If anyone in my family is sitting doing something in gloomy light, and I turn on the light for them, I often sing The People That Walked In Darkness from Handel's Messiah. My grandmother used to do this, so it seems perfectly normal to me.

(The people that walk-ed, that walk-ed in darkness, have seen a great light.)

Seeing the mess DS2 left in the kitchen this morning, the phrase "The condemned prisoner ate a hearty breakfast" sprang to mind!

Oh my god MightyWease - thought that was just us with "is it up your arse?" for lost items. more than one person around here has got into trouble for saying it at work without thinking

If I head, or read, the phrase "period features" (usually about a house) I have to say: "RUDE" or "Who are you calling period features?"

Whenever I need a poo I always sing "Urge For Going" by Joni Mitchell.

Lol how funny - glad I'm not the only mad person who does this!!!

Definitely stop - hammertime
When I hear the word confidence - I have to continue with the parklife dialogue "is a preference to the habitual that was once known as park like" there's a radio advert with the word on every other track!!!

Me and Hubble do the key - the secret

I think there's loads!!

Oh I forgot about Schwing. I was once Working on a construction site, with a boss called Garth.

The concrete pourer was next to us. And I of course went 'Schwing' doing the appropriate or rather, very inappropriate hip movement.

Thank fuck he was the type of bloke who appreciated his name in that circumstance. We then spent the next 6 months working together quoting Mike Myers films at each other very professional relationship we had until he left the company.

When I'm walking quickly then decide I need to turn left instead of right at the last moment, I turn the corner making a screeching breaks noise.

When watching crime drama on TV DH always says"kettle on the road sir" before it starts ( in ref to the ad that says cattle in the road).

Also DM and I will always say "nasty blouse" if we see a hideous piece of clothing.

Endless quotes from comedies over the years. Oh and a big sigh followed by "Dear BBC" when there's something to complain about.

We do a lot of singing too.

My worst habit though is if anybody declines sugar in their tea or coffee, I'll happily trill "You're sweet enough already". Friends and family, fine, boss's boss in an important meeting, not so much...

If DP and I are listening to someone's conversation/doing something we shouldn't be/generally hanging around waiting for something and looking suspicious we announce that we're "just checking the walls" a la Basil Fawlty, with air-hammering gestures.
My sister and I can't read or hear the word oyster without shrieking "Oysters! Oysters!" like the creepy walrus from Alice in Wonderland. It gets particularly tedious if we're in London using the underground a lot.
And my really annoying one is to chirpily tell people to "have fun!" if they say they're going to the toilet, to a meeting, or anywhere that really, really isn't going to be fun. I'm trying to stop.

If anyone says I have a theory I am dying to answer it with "it could be demons, dancing demons" a la the Buffy musical

Ah Piggy with me it's "it could be bunnies!"

Also whenever I'm cleaning my teeth I have Gilbert and Sullivan's 'Modern Major General' in my head. The rhythm of it just goes with the scrubbing. I don't like Gilbert and Sullivan, I'm not sure where I first heard it but it's been happening since I was a child like some kind of autoplay activated by my toothbrush

Too, too many
We always do Clay Davis "shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit"
Joey - "long pause" Chandler - "mother kisser" "I'm tired" is always met with the full version of the song from "Blazing Saddles" When well fed and offered more food it's "Baby 15 Schnitzengrubers are my limit". Obvious one is the Airplane line when asked how I want my coffee.
DH goes very theatrical and becomes a resting thespian occasionally and reminisces about treading the boards with Larry when someone becomes overly dramatic.
Just realised there are hundreds of these

Whenever Ben Ando is on BBC news, I say "Can you hear the drums, Ben Ando?" in my little head. Like a twat.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Uai7M4RpoLU

Brilliant thread!

The Spitting Image song was "I've never met a nice WHITE South African" which makes a lot more sense given the political context of the time.

Hot baths in our house are monkey baths due to the sound you make when you get in .

Whenever I leave work in the evening as I turn everything off in my office ready to go home I sing the words "I'm going home, I've done my time" the first line from the 70s song "tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree"

Ha yes to 'I'm old/I'm cold' a la joey tribiani!

I don't do hammertime, I do 'right now thank you very much, I need somebody with a human touch...........and so on, usually the whole rest of the chorus complete with dance actions. My 5yr old DD is particularly unimpressed with this as she is the most regular audience for it!

So many more, nearly all involving spontaneous breaking into song lyrics! Love this thread!

Lots we use pinched from the Joan Hickson Miss Marples. When we meet someone Welsh "such clever people" being offered more to drink "how shall I face the vicar at lunch" and when talking to a friend will drop in "you never know with men" and then enigmatically say nothing a la Miss Barton in The Moving Finger.