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Original poster

To feel slightly put out by DH's lovely surprise?

520 replies

GinIsABreakfastFood · 24/12/2015 07:41

Ok, firstly I want to clarify I did not look for my present on purpose! Xmas Blush

Basically DH and I agreed that we would only do tiny token presents this year so that we can have a mega holiday later on. We agreed a set limit, which I found a huge struggle as I bloody love giving presents and spoiling people, and have spent the past few months trying frantically to pick up lovely, thoughtful little bits and pieces within the £20 limit.

Was feeling quite pleased with myself until.... Was packing to leave for family for Christmas and noticed his smart work coat which he won't need was a bit grubby so thought I'd leave it with the dry cleaners so it's fresh for next year, and found a mega expensive piece of beautiful jewellery hidden in the pocket.

DSis has helpfully pointed out that this happens in Love Actually and it turns out the husband has bought the gift for his mistress.... Hmm

Pretty sure it is for me, thanks, Dsis, and it's lovely, but soooo not what we agreed.

We have got to leave in the next 20 mins to drive to remote Scotland for massive family Christmas so no time to get him anything else to even the balance. Which means that when we open presents in Christmas morning, in front of about 30 people, I will get Tiffany diamond earrings, and he will get socks and a robot bath bomb. AIBU to feel absolutely mortified, a bit cross, and completely love my darling DH for the beautiful surprise, but also a bit want to kill him?!

Should I just buy £500 worth of petrol station tat at at the services on the way there?! Pretend I forgot his main present at home and lie about what it is?!

HELP!!

OP posts:
Hatethis22 · 24/12/2015 08:19

Tickets to see something. You can book now online for comedy gigs and concerts. and you wouldn't be sent the tickets until closer to the time, so not having them yet won't look odd. Buy a CD or Dvd of whoever you're getting him the tickets from WHSmiths at the services and wrap it. Explain when he opens it that you've got the tickets.

Sammysquiz · 24/12/2015 08:19

He might not give them to you in front if everyone if that makes it any better?

Knitmyshickers10 · 24/12/2015 08:20

I would also be waiting until he gave them to you....

ShootTheMoon · 24/12/2015 08:20

Absolutely, just let him enjoy giving you a beautiful gift, without making it awkward and weird Smile.

Thank fuck you checked the pockets.

Iwanttobeadog · 24/12/2015 08:21

You untied the ribbon? He'll know you know, it'll never tie the same again

londonrach · 24/12/2015 08:21

Dont get anything else as he know you know. Just acted surprised.

GloriaHotcakes · 24/12/2015 08:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 24/12/2015 08:24

Hiddlesnake that made me laugh Xmas Grin

OP don't buy him anything else until the Tiffany gift is firmly in your hands Give your robot bath bomb with pride and when you receive your fancy jewellery tell him he will get his special gift when you get home (then make it relevant to your super-duper holiday like currency).

antimatter · 24/12/2015 08:25

He must have saved for it so enjoy the surprise!

GlitteryShoes · 24/12/2015 08:27

I think currency would be perfect.

NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding · 24/12/2015 08:28

If he has broken the rules it's probably because he will enjoy giving it to you. I wouldn't worry about it. Xmas Smile

APlaceOnTheCouch · 24/12/2015 08:29

Tickets to see something. You can book now online.
Yes, you'd think so but having spent over an hour this morning trying to get tickets for a sodding show for DSIS, technology ain't always as good as you'd think

Iamnotloobrushphobic · 24/12/2015 08:30

Enjoy the gift OP and dont be embarrassed at only buying him token gifts.

TheBoysMamma · 24/12/2015 08:31

Aww that's a lovely surprise. But I know how you feel. Similar happened to me last year (though I didn't find out until Christmas morning when he handed me the present). Have to confess I was cross because I felt bad I hadn't gotten him more and that he had gone over the limit. So I wasn't as gracious receiving my amazing gift as I perhaps should have been.
Hopefully he will give them to you in private so you don't feel bad in front of family.
My advice would be to smile and be grateful then spoil him on his birthday

PoppyBlossom · 24/12/2015 08:31

He'll know you've seen them now though won't he? I'm just place marking to see if they really are intended for you.

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 24/12/2015 08:34

I wouldn't worry but it would piss me off that he's gone against what you agreed.

Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 24/12/2015 08:34

My DH has form for this.the year I was pregnant with dd we went away so we said no big gifts, save our money for baby stuff etc...I got him a wooden box I found in a charity shop for his cufflinks, plus other bits. He bought me a very expensive slr camera.

This year again we've said nothing over £50.. I've sort of stuck to it. He keeps saying he's got barely anything to wrap, problem is I keep twitching and buying more bits as I'm expecting him to appear with a lavish present..side law it'll be the one year he doesn't.

I think people are being a bit cruel saying wait till you are given them. It wouldn'teven cross my mind to think the worst if I'd found something like that.

Sameshitdiffname · 24/12/2015 08:35

Maybe he's thought he should spoil you this time

DeputyPecksBentBeak · 24/12/2015 08:36

Arf at Joni Mitchell CD Grin

Definitely not place marking to see you he gives them to you, oh no...

Lweji · 24/12/2015 08:36

Keep your money and spoil him on that holiday instead.

BalloonSlayer · 24/12/2015 08:37

Sorry to be the one negative voice, but the clue is here:

[I] have spent the past few months trying frantically to pick up lovely, thoughtful little bits and pieces within the £20 limit.

You see, HE hasn't spent any time at all trying to find you something nice for under £20. He's left it till the last minute, panicked, and thinks that if he buys you something really expensive it'll be OK. (People always overspend if they leave it to the last minute.)

So basically he has blown £500 of your holiday budget on something you don't need, AND which will make you feel bad/look mean, PLUS he has broken your agreement - all because he was too lazy to put any time and effort to do what you agreed and find you something for £20 or less. And if you raise this - especially as you will be exchanging presents in front of others - you will look like an ungrateful cow and he like the wonderful husband who was trying to give his wife a beautiful present and does she appreciate it? . . . etc. Although I don't think he's thought of it like that, I expect it was all kindly - though lazily - meant.

If you don't like that view, then how about: "How romantic! Enjoy the surprise!"

Pipbin · 24/12/2015 08:37

I agree with Mamma, be gracious and smile, spoil him on his birthday.

To a degree it depends on how your household finances works. If you pool all your money then I would be pissed off as it was joint money that was being spent.
However if you keep your money separate then he has made the choice to save.

AliceInUnderpants · 24/12/2015 08:37

shamelessly placemarking

Lweji · 24/12/2015 08:40

He could just as lazily walked in a shop and bought some cheap necklace or earings or bracelet.

I wouldn't necessarily assume it was a lazy gift.

Sameshitdiffname · 24/12/2015 08:42

I'm confused I probably missed it but how do you know it was £500 did you go searching to see what it cost?