WIBU to give trick or treaters condoms?

[Ejay1808]

Because that is what Asda substituted in place of my minion sweets!

YABVU. Getting minion sweets instead of extra large condoms would be an actual catastrophe....

in one way, it's a great idea

but there's no point giving them to kids who are too little and will waste them as water balloons or some such.

Well jonnies and jellies sound similar lol

I once order 5 pots of the porridge you add hot water to.
I was substituted 5 boxes of 10 sachets of porridge... 50 sachets. This would have been fine but I was using a water cooler with a heat setting to fill them in the office with no kitchen access. ??

I remember reading (possibly on here?!) that someone ordered 10 jars of pasta sauce and 10 packets of pasta for a big dinner or something. They sent them the 10 jars of pasta sauce and substituted the pasta with another 10 jars of pasta sauce.

chocolateorange Jellies and jollies sound more similar

Dear 00100001,

thank you for your recent submission to the Daily Mail newsdesk. Although we appreciate the time and effort that obviously went into submission, we are unable to print it. Please find some notes from our editorial guidance handbook which may assist you in future :

1. All articles must include reference to one of - (a) asylum seekers (b) immigrants

n.b. you have double commission if the work "Islamist" can be prepended

2. All articles must reference house prices. Ideally in a way that conveys Fear Uncertainty and/or Doubt.

3. All articles must reference the EU in a pejorative manner.

4. Royal references are never wasted

we hope these tips are of use, and look forward to your next submission

lots of (heterosexual) love

the boys and girl at the Daily Mail

LurkingHusband

Lol

This thread gets better and better

They won't print it unless ejay is in receipt of £60k a year in benefits, is a one legged lesbian asylum seeker with 12 children she had using sperm donors she found on eBay.

Quite honestly, the daily fail will laugh at your story as there is nothing to outrage their tax paying, hard working readers.

I normally fill my trick or treat bowl with mini Mars bars and satsumas.
Shall I substitute condoms and bananas to practice with?

They won't print it unless ejay is in receipt of £60k a year in benefits, is a one legged lesbian asylum seeker with 12 children she had using sperm donors she found on eBay

Use them to make real life-sized blackcurrant penile ice lollies.

Heck, you could treat yourself to some flavour-free ice lollies, "the way nature intended".

Condoms are adult material which I deem unsuitable to give to young children. Parents of those children receiving may also object. What message are we conveying to our children? That sex is a game? Another attack on the sanctity of the role of sex, I say.

Not really a substitution but I once ordered a slow cooker from Tesco Direct and they sent me a hair dryer instead. Taking slow cooking to the extreme....

My brother once had an extension lead substituted for a dog lead once?!

chelle.

00100001

You also missed out the risk of the condoms being carcinogernic - the Daily Heil won't like that!

Brilliant thread & OP - MN at its best.

Hi all - we're going to pop this over to Mumsnet Classics shortly

Hypnotherapist1

Condoms are adult material which I deem unsuitable to give to young children. Parents of those children receiving may also object. What message are we conveying to our children? That sex is a game? Another attack on the sanctity of the role of sex, I say.

This confuses me....I can't decide if you have read the thread and are trying to be funny or if you haven't and have taken this entirely the wrong way

But....classics!

happylass

I can see you waving your hair dryer over your stew now growling "come on!! coooook!!!"

As an honest, hard-working taxpayer, I am shocked and appalled by this story. This poor woman's kids must be absolutely heartbroken, and probably scarred for life.

I work 21 hours a day down the fish factory, breaking my back carrying heavy loads of frozen halibut and mackerel, before walking 15 miles home, where I have a glass of water and a beta blocker before walking the 15 miles back to work for another honest day's graft.

My wife, Pat (65), does the weekly grocery shop. All my hard-earned cash goes to Tesco, and its when I hear stories like this about them, that I could weep with sorrow. Tesco is a multi-billion pound, greedy, corporate, immoral, unethical machine which delights in taking money off the honest, hard-working taxpaying customer, and yet they think they can get away with this disgraceful, insulting behaviour.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - this country is going to the dogs.

21 hours a day? You've got it easy, I work 23 hours a day, an I have to walk my 15 miles in bare feet...