Have you ever told a little white lie or there's been a misunderstanding that's just spiraled out of control?

[BillyBullshitter]

This happened to me the other week and has come back to bite me. I fell over on my way to work a couple of weeks ago and got mud up my jeans. No problem as I always have spare clothes in my office for when it's pissing down.

However, on my way in I bumped into a colleague who commented on the mud. I replied and said the dog jumped up at me.

"Oh, I didn't know you have a dog. We must go walking together one time", she said.

Rather than me saying "Oh no, sorry, it was just a random dog" or actually just telling her that I went arse over tit, I went " Ooh, lovely."

I got to my office, shook my head at what an idiot I am and thought nothing more of it.

This morning she has texted me "Hi Billy. Just wondering if you fancy going over the fields on Saturday with the dogs? About 11am."

I have no idea what "the fields" are but assume I would know if I actually had a dog.

I don't feel like I can text back and say it was all an elaborate bullshit to cover the fact I fell over because this makes me look like a knob on so many levels.
So, what are my options here?! Tell her the dog is dead. No, that's horrible. Tell her I'd love to and then beg, steal, borrow or buy a dog in the next 40 hours. Possibly but that's just adding to the lie. I haven't decided.

Tell me your stories of white lie spiraling?

Many years ago, when I started a new job I was trying to diet. I was very sensitive about my weight, didn't like talking about diets etc. During the induction session on day one in the job, the trainer passes around a box of Roses or Quality Street or something similar. I didn't want to have one so I said I didn't like chocolate, didn't ever eat it. Much surprise was expressed, people saying "I wish I didn't like chocolate etc", the whole room was involved in the discussion.

I worked there for 7 years and had to keep up the pretence of not liking chocolate. When people brought stuff in for birthdays etc, they always made sure there was something non-chocolate for me. Seems stupid now, I should have just told them.

I am laughing at the pretending to be vegetarian for a decade - but I need to know, are you still with the boyfriend?

Reading these I think a few MN threads actually end up like this, people get a bit "caught up" in posters assumptions or suggestions on thread. I think a few "trolls" who have had inconsistencies or just go too far, just get a bit carried away and think it's not RL, they can after all say what they want.

Just to clarify, I don't mean people on this thread! I just mean some MN threads in general over the years

purple yes we are still together and have two children. My parents came round and get on with him well now.

I was a nanny for a very small baby once and people always assumed I was her mum. It was easier just to smile and nod when people made small talk like 'your daughter's lovely' or whatever.

I used to take her to a local church hall where they had a coffee morning and the old ladies would coo over her. Once one of them gave me a real grilling about her and I could smile, nod and answer most questions in a non-committal sort of way until they asked her date of birth. I knew how old she was in months but had no idea of her DOB! I just blurted out 'Eh... I don't know!' And five elderly ladies were stunned into silence. We never went back

Not me, but DH.

DH is a Kiwi and built like he may once have played as a forward for the All Blacks. Although he is really sporty he has never played rugby in his life his Mum wouldn't let him.

Went to the doctor a few months back with some weird back/joint issues. Doc just launched into oh well, I see that a lot with ex-rugby players, it's to be expected... and DH ended up have a whole 5 minute conversation about playing rugby and fitness and how he'd been lucky to never have a serious injury.

He went back again this week with bronchitis and was terrified he'd get another "well as a rugby player, you should expect..."

My new workplace thinks I don't drink tea or coffee. I usually drink loads but am too intimidated to do the tea run as I panic about balancing drinks on trays since a milkshake incident in McDonalds 25 years ago (previous workplace we just made our own).

Cue lots of explanations as to why I don't drink hot drinks, how on earth I get through the day without a brew, why I don't find having just water boring etc etc. All the time whilst dying for a cuppa!

I was once out shopping with DS in his pram. I was learning sign language at the time and signing to DS as well.
A little girl saw me and came rushing over signing excitedly but very quickly so I signed to her to sign slowly as I was just leaning.
The mum came over and signed what I thought was 'She's deaf' about her daughter so I nodded. She then turned to her daughter and began to sign and even before she started I realised I had made a mistake and she ha d asked if I was deaf..... She told her daughter I was deaf like her.....
I was too ashamed to say I had made a mistake so we then had a long conversation in sign language anbout DS and if he was deaf etc. The queue was VERY long and I was soooo mortified!
I then couldn't speak to the lad on the checkout because she was behind me......

Years and years ago I was interviewed for the graduate programme at what was then Andersen Consulting. They saw from my application form that I was from Harvard Massachusetts. I was, but the town of Harvard is 40 miles west of the university and has nothing to do with it. They asked if my father teached. Not clicking, I sat there and wondered how on earth they knew I had a teacher parent- my mother taught at the Harvard Elementary School - and I just said, no, my mother does.

Cue a ton of questions about having a Harvard University professor for a mother. By the time it clicked, I was in too deep to explain so I just made up a whole load of nonsense.

Fortunately they didn't want to hire me anyway.

I used to work with my now ex boyfriend. He left and my colleagues would sometimes ask what he was up to, etc.
The we broke up and I was too embarrassed to tell anyone at work what happened, so whenever they mentioned him I went along with it and made up things.
They even asked me what's did for Valentine's Day and I made up a story about going out for dinner and what present he had got me
I finally told them in July and we'd broken up in January
However, one guy hadn't got the memo and still talked about him all the time. But I wasn't sure if he knew and was just being insensitive.

So glad to see I'm not the only person to use Richard as a random baby name! When I had ds we decided to name him after dp granddad. Granddad's birth name (that we were using) was different from his day-to-day name (why?!?!?!) Anyway, when I phoned my mum soon after the birth hopped up on pain relief I couldn't remember the name I had named my own son but I knew it began with R, so said Richard. When she came to visit I had to feign confusion and say she must have misheard me...

I pretended my friend was deaf to stop us getting mugged. I really hope that doesn't make me a bad person

Has anyone else seen the 'why do people tell the most awful lies for no reason?' thread on AIBU?!

I don't think any one here has been mentioned yet...

When I was a student, my housemates argued about whether it was possible to gatecrash a party by simply turning up at a house where you could hear music and saying "we're friends of Dave." One guy said that wouldn't work as they'd just say "which Dave?" but you should use "Steve"

Next thing I knew we'd pulled over outside a house and he rang the bell, said "we're friends of Steve" and all 5 of us went in to someone's house where about 15 people were drinking. Obviously I got asked "how do you know X and Y" whose house it presumably was so said "Through Steve..." "Tall Steve or short Steve?" Erm, tall Steve...

A couple hours and few drinks later, the doorbell went and I heard "Steve! Your friends are here!"

Probably the fastest I've ever legged it out of a house, while my housemates were left going "You're not Steve!" and the guy whose idea it was tried claiming he'd got the address wrong. He had at least given these strangers a bottle of cheap wine!

PegsPigs What happened? How did that get you out of being mugged?

redredblue I did something similar. When my ex and I split up, we stayed good friends and still lived together for over a year afterwards. The man in the corner shop at the end of our road had always been so lovely and friendly, and neither of us had the heart to tell him we'd split up, so when he asked after my boyfriend, I'd ramble on about how he's at work so that's why he's not with me. When I got together with now DP, if he came to the shops with me I'd make him walk to another shop 15 minutes away just so the man wouldn't find out, and told DP some elaborate story about not liking the man in the shop so I refused to go there. I eventually owned up to DP, who found it hilarious. We moved away, and I never did tell the shop keeper...

Jammy My friend was male so the mugger was trying to pick on him demanding money so before he could speak I said he was deaf. And my friend nodded. I talked my way out of the situation by saying we were walking home from a night out because we had no money. My friend didn't talk to me till we were home in case the mugger followed us to check he was deaf!

When DS was about 5 months old an old lady came up to us in the street, played a bit of a peekaboo with him, and then said 'What a beautiful little girl. What's her name?'

And instead of saying 'Actually he's a boy,' I said 'Phoebe.' Which is what I would have called him if he was a girl. I just didn't want to make her feel awkward!

We have since seen her in town about half a dozen times, and she always comes up and says 'Helloo Phoebe!'. DH was with us last time and was , as I'd never told him about DS's alter-ego .

So basically we have to move before DS learns to say his own name. He's 15 months now... how long does that give me?

A few years ago I went to the hairdressers to have some layers put in. She asked me if I was doing anything nice at the weekend, and I told her I was meeting up with my (then) boyfriend. She asked me what job he did, but I didn't want to say he was unemployed so I told her he was a singing teacher
I have no idea why I said it, because he absolutely cannot sing, or indeed has any interest at all in music, but by the end of the appointment I'd told her all about his career as a professional OPERA SINGER, how he'd met Gareth fucking Malone, and had studied in Italy. To make matters worse, she asked for his number as her daughter wanted singing lessons. I just said I'd pop in with his business card later that day!! Of course I didn't...I never darkened the door of that salon again, or in fact the entire London borough it was in.

The guy was an out of work mechanic, why oh why didn't I just say that in the first place?

Oh yeah, and another wee gem - when I was a student, I found the perfect, cheap one bed flat, but the landlord said he wanted professionals only, no students.

So when he phoned me back to ask what my job was, I was in the middle of watching Antiques Roadshow so I told him I was an art dealer, specialising in Chinese pottery. JUST WHY?!

I too am guilty of having an imaginary child.

Years ago I was in a chemist in the town where I worked buying teenage ninja turtle bubble bath as a Christmas present for my then boyfriend.

As I was paying for it the shop assistant asked if it was for my ' son' I said yes , no idea why I think it was easier than admitting boyfriend and I watched a kids programme.
She then asked how old my ' son' was and I made something up, she then asked what he was called and my mind went blank.
After staring at her for what seemed like an eternity I said the only thing I could think of which wads Leonardo!

She smiled sympathetically and I literally ran out if the shop!

When I was 16 weeks pregnant with my first dc and hardly any sort of bump (in the days when I still had stomach muscles), Sir David Attenborough (DA) my absolute idol, was doing a Life Stories book signing round the corner from where I worked. It was early December and we queued outside for ages to meet him. DH thought it would be a nice idea to ask DA to sign it for our unborn child. When it was our turn his assistant asked who he should write it to and I said Jack / Daisy. This sparked DA's interest and he asked why the two options. I blurted out that it was for our baby but we didn't know if it would be a boy or girl yet, but would find out next week (meaning we would be having our scan then). DA took this to mean that I was due next week and got very excited. He told his assistant to get me a chair, admonished DH for letting me queue in the cold when I was due any day and made the bookshop people get me a cup of tea. He was so lovely and I was so starstruck, we couldn't bring ourselves to correct him. The assistant was clearly bemused by my lack of bump and I could feel the entire queue behind wondering what the hell was going on. DA was clearly fascinated about my non blooming pregnancy but said his dog never showed either . We left the shop terrified I would end up being the subject of his next documentary! He was lovely though. Ironically when DS was born we called him something else entirely!

Have nominated this thread for classics, absolutely hilarious!! Have laughed my head off the whole way through, poor little Richard

My fib was when I was at my sister's wedding. Someone had got it into their head that I had just started a new job doing the thing that I had trained for at uni. When they originally asked me I couldn't be bothered to correct them so just quickly said 'oh yes, I have got a new job' (or something similar) It turned out they did that job too (in a different hospital thank god) so were very knowledgable. Asked me about a million questions and it was so cringeworthy. Couldn't get rid of them

Love this thread!

In The last family I nannyed for, the two eldest were 10&6 when I started, when I did the school run I often got chatting to the parents/carers...one day I got chatting to an elderly woman-I say chatting, she was Spanish with very little English so our conversations consisted of lots of gesturing!

I explained I was their nanny but she didn't understand and it was easier for her to just think they were mine

She then heard the youngest saying she was going to be a big sister, I then got lots of hugs and tummy patting from her in the playground and when MumBoss had the baby and I brought him to do pick up at a couple of weeks old, she gave me a little bear for him...this went on for FIVE years and despite many any times, saying they weren't my dc, it just never got across.

I then left that job and moved to my current one....which is the same street as this lady's daughter lives on so I often bump into her with my current charge and she thinks I've had another baby

It's gone on way to long now! I'm apparently destined to be a mother of a 16, 12, 6 and 2 to at the age of 25

My old boss finds the situation utterly hilarious and is pretty sure this woman now thinks she's the nanny if these kids

It's very awkward all round!

DA was clearly fascinated about my non blooming pregnancy but said his dog never showed either