Have you ever told a little white lie or there's been a misunderstanding that's just spiraled out of control?

[BillyBullshitter]

This happened to me the other week and has come back to bite me. I fell over on my way to work a couple of weeks ago and got mud up my jeans. No problem as I always have spare clothes in my office for when it's pissing down.

However, on my way in I bumped into a colleague who commented on the mud. I replied and said the dog jumped up at me.

"Oh, I didn't know you have a dog. We must go walking together one time", she said.

Rather than me saying "Oh no, sorry, it was just a random dog" or actually just telling her that I went arse over tit, I went " Ooh, lovely."

I got to my office, shook my head at what an idiot I am and thought nothing more of it.

This morning she has texted me "Hi Billy. Just wondering if you fancy going over the fields on Saturday with the dogs? About 11am."

I have no idea what "the fields" are but assume I would know if I actually had a dog.

I don't feel like I can text back and say it was all an elaborate bullshit to cover the fact I fell over because this makes me look like a knob on so many levels.
So, what are my options here?! Tell her the dog is dead. No, that's horrible. Tell her I'd love to and then beg, steal, borrow or buy a dog in the next 40 hours. Possibly but that's just adding to the lie. I haven't decided.

Tell me your stories of white lie spiraling?

[Pensfriends]

I've remembered another. I hadn't been with DH long and he came to my house with milkshakes for the kids (and us). He got me chocolate, I hate chocolate milkshake but I stupidly didn't say. Now he goes out of his way to get me chocolate milkshake if I've had a bad day. I can never tell him, it's already been four years.

[ForeverLivingMyArse]

There's also the time I broke a chair at my in-laws and blamed ds but in a jokey way and I said nothing. Years later they still joke about it. Ds denies it happened but they think it's cute and laugh. It's gone on way to lpng now to confess.

[Scarydinosaurs]

These are fantastic.

I can't decide what's worse: having to invent an imaginary son, or having an imaginary son with such poor behaviour that he is excluded at the tender age of seven...

[GrizzlebertGrumbledink]

I've thought of a worse one.

I was a student without much spare cash, my boyfriend at the time had a lot more money and was a member of a fancy schmancy gym. I stayed with him for a week and every day beeped myself into the gym with his membership card and enjoyed the sauna and other luxury facilities.

One day there happened to be an employee looking at the screen so when I beeped the card my boyfriends face popped up - he stopped me and I said "oh silly me I must have accidentally picked up my boyfriend's membership card by mistake"

"No problem" the helpful employee replied, "just tell me your name and I'll let you in". I should have come clean at that moment but I panicked and gave the name of the only other person I knew who was a member of that gym. It was clearly a Chinese name and I am obviously not Oriental looking. He gave me a long hard stare so I spelled it out for him! No idea what he fuck I was thinking. As the glamorous Chinese lady's picture popped up on his screen he looked at my scruffy studenty, very un-Chinese face and muttered "I think you better leave"

[DorothyBastard]

You do realise that if you go with the 'dog-sitting for a friend' spinoff lie that colleague will think you're a dog-sitting type of person and palm her dog off on you whenever she goes away from now on?

[DadDadDad]

Grizzlebert - I don't think qualifies as a white lie, given you were being deceitful about an act of theft.

[bangbangprettypretty]

Oh God I'm cringing just thinking about mine...

[GrizzlebertGrumbledink]

Sorry Dad. I presume you behaved impeccably as a student then?

[bangbangprettypretty]

I was invited to the evening do of two people DH and I worked with.

On the same day, I'd also been invited to another wedding, about 250 miles away in a country house, which I accepted instead, and my DH was to go to this work wedding.

Anyway, come the wedding day, I really didn't want to go to the country house wedding - it was 250 miles just for an evening do. So I texted and made an excuse. DH happily then went off on his own to the work couples' wedding.

I had an evening by myself then went to bed. DH then came home and whispered to me that another couple of people from work had forgotten their keys and needed to stay at ours! I was supposed to be 250 miles away!

But instead of just saying, 'Oh, BangBang couldn't be arsed, she's here,' DH decided just to say nothing.

The couple slept in our living room on a pull-out bed. DH said, 'It'll be fine, I'll just drive them home in the morning and no one will know.' Except the woman was too hungover to be driven. So my DH and her boyfriend left us in the house.

I ended up just sitting, cringing, on my bed waiting for this woman to wake up. I could hear her pottering around my kitchen, turning the TV on, etc, until she got into our bathroom, at which stage I pulled on some clothes, scuttled to the front door, slammed it and then pretended I'd just got home at 9am from a wedding in the north. if she noticed I wasn't wearing a bra she didn't say anything

To this day, I have NO idea why I didn't come clean. I just sat there in my bedroom thinking she would think I was completely bonkers if she opened the door and I was just sitting on my bed in my pyjamas! We're still really good friends with this couple and I've still never come clean about it!

[BillyBullshitter]

Pensfriends Oh god you poor thing. I totally sympathise though and had a similar thing with an exDP.

I started dating my first real DP when I was 16. On our first date we went to a cafe where they had all these lovely cakes in a huge glass cabinet. He asked which one I wanted and I pointed to a lovely indulgent , toffee looking one and asked the lady behind the till what it was. She said 'banoffee pie'. I hate banana but rather than opting for something else I went 'Mmmm lovely' and he bought me that one.

We dated for three years and every single birthday and crhistmas and anniversary he bought me a banoffee pie or something banoffee flavoured because apparently it was our 'special' thing cringe at the cheesey romantic-ness I never told him I actually hated bananas and never ate a single one of the banoffee-themed things he ever bought me. I can't look at a banoffee pie without thinking of him twat now

PP said she hopes colleague is a MNer- I can safely say she's not. She's repeated categorically several million times that she 'hates the internet'

[JustDanceAddict]

My ex-neighbour (who was lovely I hasten to add) always got DD's name wrong despite my correcting her numerous times by saying 'yes, Right Name is fine thanks' or whatever. She never got the hint though & reverted back to the wrong name every time.

[Kriek]

Mine was more of a lost in translation moment. I was 30 weeks pregnant and really huge. I was in a shop in Spain buying sweets. The lady commented that I was really big and I said yes I always am, she then asked jokingly how many, I thought she meant how many months left so said 3. She then practically leapt over the counter calling for someone, she was at my bump really quickly, along with another customer, and they both started rubbing it, then an older lady came out from the back to rub my bump too. DH came in to a scene of 3 ladies all wishing my bump luck because of the triplets. I was so embarrassed I just kept saying 'tres' 'tres' over and over. DH escorted me out quickly.

At least I didn't have to go back to the shop.

[BoffinMum]

For various very good reasons I had to reinvent myself verbally as the owner of a small portfolio of boutique hotels in the Midlands this week. After a few hours I almost believed it myself. I then managed to enter a competition in which my staff would all be invited for a wine tasting if I won. I am now very worried I will win and that I will have to invent a team of staff. I may have to call upon people in this thread for assistance.

[troubleatmillcock]

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore I'm actually weeping at your story!

Imaginary son excluded from school!

[FeliciaJollygoodfellow]

Was trying to laugh quietly in work whilst reading this and failed miserably.

Colleague just came over to ask me a question while I'm doubled over in tears at 'Richard'! Not embarrassing at all.....

I'm sure there's loads from me but I've blocked them out. I'll come back later.

[clarabellabunting]

Once when I was quite new in my job, I got chatting to a senior colleague - who I was trying to impress - and it turned out we had gone to school near each other. She is a few years old than me but knew some people who had gone to my school.

She mentioned a specific name of someone she had gone to University with and I (for some unknown reason) said that I remembered that person and that they were in the year above me at school. I didn't remember them at all.

She looked confused and said 'How old are you?' I realised she was more than a year older than me so changed my age to fit my story - ageing myself by 2-3 years.

Later that day, she mentioned a work trip to Paris that I and another new starter were very welcome to come along on. All expenses paid - a bit of a jolly. I agreed enthusiastically - pleased that I had obviously been successful in impressing her.

But then the following week, she emailed me to ask for several details so that she could get my travel tickets booked... which included my date of birth.

I had to pull out of the trip to Paris (I made some excuse up about not being able to find any childcare) rather than admit I'd lied about my age.

[cjt110]

I too am DYING at Richard and the general befuddledness of just uttering something and not correcting. I dont have anything to add... I dont think Just generally applaud you all

[GruntledOne]

BoffinMum, I'm 100% up for being a member of your staff if you win the wine tasting competition. It had better be something fairly lowly, however, like room maid, I don't think I can bluff being your chef or head waiter.

[mrsleomcgary]

Went into a supermarket with DD in her pram,she was about 8 months old. It was summer so she just had a lovely navy cardigan over her leggings. Lady behind the till asked how old 'he' was and I just replied,not thinking much of it. She then asked 'his' name and before i could correct her i heard myself answering with the name we would have used,had she been a boy. Nearly a year later she still asks how he is doing when she sees us,even when she has a dress on!

[troubleatmillcock]

I'll come too BoffinMum, always up for pretending to be an imaginary colleague at wine tasting events.

I can bullshit like a champ.

Can I please be head of European acquisitions?

Gruntled can be my assistant

[NeededANameChangeAnyway]

This is so awful and cringeworthy I cant believe I am sharing on the internet....

I got caught skiving afternoon lessons at school and was hauled up before the deputy head. She asked where I had been and instead of confessing and taking the detention I made up an ENORMOUS story about how I had been to see a man who had a dog and who wanted to breed his dog with my dog. I went on and on while she just sat and stared at me. I eventually stuttered to a halt and she just said 'that's not true is it' 'no' I said.

No idea why I did that.

[MorrisZapp]

Oh god.

When socialising with a lovely new mum friend from the ante natal group, I said to her that my DP really fancied one of the other mums in the group (lighthearted, no Shirley Glass needed) and the lovely mum was like 'imagine saying that!'

I said 'oh I don't mind. I said to him, actually I think Sarah's husband is totally hot'.

But I got the names muddled up. I told the lovely mum that I thought her husband was really hot. And I couldn't suddenly say 'oh no sorry, not YOUR husband' because that might sound... worse??

Oh god. I'm dying even thinking about it. They are such a nice couple and I sooo don't fancy him. But it hangs in the air every time I see them.

[TotalConfucius]

I told my MIL I didn't like custard so wouldn't have any thanks, the first time I went for dinner at their house. It wasn't that I didn't like custard. I just didn't like the look of hers, it looked rather lumpy and just not nice.
This was in 1984.
She still expresses her surprise when she comes to ours for dinner that I am having Apple crumble with custard. "but you don't like custard..." 31 years...

[LittleLionHeart]

The mechanic - my dad's friend - asked me when I could come and collect the car and I said I could only that Friday, because I have a job where it's hard to get leave/I work long hours and I really wanted him to do the car for me quickly. He looked a bit pissed off so I apologised and said it was because it was half term. He now thinks I am a teacher. I am not; I'm a lawyer. But every time I see hi he asks me about my students and my marking, and recently asked me dad whether I had been offsteded yet...

[MrsJorahMormont]

Ha these are brilliant!

I'm stupidly honest so this has never happened to me (and I really do mean stupidly honest, have blurted out the truth when a lie would have been absolutely the right thing to do!) but DH once lied by omission about a girl who he implied he'd been going out with. She was from Oz so I just called her 'the Australian' and it became a running joke about 'oooh, did the Australian cook a better steak than me, oooooh, the Australian!' - all very childish but good-humoured. Only eventually when we'd had a row about something else and he was feeling confessional he blurted out that he had never actually been in a relationship with her, they'd just been friends. It had been gnawing at his conscience for years :o