I can hear DH upstairs pretending to stomp around like a monster, and the kids are shrieking with joy...

[SagaNorensLeatherTrousers]

...and I just got one of those, stop-and-smell-the-roses moments where you realise those sounds are a very temporary thing.

Some day they'll grow up and not find this kind of thing amusing anymore. And I won't be able to sit down here and happily listen.

Sniff, sniff.

I think I've had one too many glasses of .

Since having DD I've been so conscious of time passing too quickly. How two years have flown by I have no idea. She has gone from a teeny, squishy baby with rosebud lips and blueberry nose to a beautiful, tiny girl who warms my heart with her completely unbidden outpourings of happy. I never knew that hearing a little voice say 'Hello Mummy, up there' could make me so happy, or that her dancing around in the nuddy then pausing to hug me and say 'Love Mummy, Best friend' could stop me in my tracks. Her little voice saying 'Please...' makes me want to pull the stars out of the sky and give them too her, and if things aren't going so well her saying 'Try again...' is enough to reign in my grumpy feelings. It's impossible to articulate how much I love her, and all those little moments add up to a lifetime of overwhelming love.

I had two of these moments this weekend.

One is that DS1 (3.8) was love-bombing me all weekend, saying how much he loves me, how I'm so pretty asking why I have a big tummy and clapping me saying "bravo mummy, magnifique mummy" (he's bilingual, not pretentious ). Every other sentence was about how much he loves me and it just melted my heart.

My second moment was that DS1 did a "dance" performance with his nursery school. Afterwards he was a bit overwhelmed with all the noise and people. DH picked him up and carried him out, snuggling him all the way. I really wanted to be with DS1 but waves of pride and love were radiating out from DH that I just watched them instead and tucked the memory away for later.

DH wasn't very close to DS1 when he was a baby but their relationship has just blossomed as time has gone by and I love watching them playing together.

and yes, fantastic thread, though reading it at work was a mistake

I do this silly thing where I say to DS 'do you know, I looked in the dictionary under 'best boy in the whole world' and there was a picture of YOU!'. Been doing it for years.

Anyway, last night he said to me 'I looked in the dictionary under 'most epic mother ever' and there was a picture of YOU!' Just because I'd made him some toast.

There may have been sniffing.

What a lovely thread.

Fantastic thread...and definitely a mistake to read it at work! I haven't read the poem yet, I'll save it for later when I know that there is no chance of anyone walking in on me!

I said to DS (4.5) this morning that Grandma gives the best snuggles and he just shook his head. When I asked who did, he just pointed at me and then gave me the biggest squeeze ever

Dorothy completely undid me.

Mine is well documented on another thread but worth a share here (and you'll see why I'm very proud and emotional to share)

I had a really awful birth. On top of which I had never been maternal and getting pregnant was an accident. I wasn't a natural mother and completely struggled with everything when DS was a baby/toddler. I just never felt the love that seemingly, everyone else experienced when a baby was born. I hated myself for not "feeling" it. DS was clothed, fed, well looked after and cuddled but the cuddling was more out of "this is what I should be doing" rather than a spontaneous action/need/want.

Anyway, I had resigned myself to how it was. When he was 4, he was not quite tall enough to reach the lightpull in the loo, despite leaping about, trying his hardest. One day, he RAN into the kitchen, utterly radiant, could hardly get his words out. " I DID IT MUMMY! I DID IT! I REACHED THE LIGHT!!!"

And that was it. This...this...FORCE of feeling hit me and completely and literally FLOORED me. I fell to the floor in a heap, poleaxed. He came and put his arms round me and I held him and sobbed. And wailed. And held him. And loved him. And bawled. And held him. And utterly LOVED every fibre of his little, amazing being. And the weird thing was, he didn't mention anything about me falling. He just held on tight and cuddled. Then he looked at me and I swear if an expression could be translated into words, his would have been "It's ok, it's ok. I knew you'd get there eventually"

I cry every time I write this and am unendingly grateful. He's 7 now and we have a fabulous relationship going on

Shakey that is beautiful.

Crying my eyes out now shakey

Giving DD2 (3.5) a squeeze and she is going "get off mummy!"

ISpiderman...
We have a friend whose son is coming up 3 and also bilingual, it's lovely talking to him and it feels very much like a 'Franglais' existence. Not long ago he was desperate to play with a (too fragile and temperamental) helicopter that was the pride and joy of an older boy. I think one of my favourite phrases ever was when he looked at me wide-eyed in wonder and all wrapped up in a snowsuit and said 'Il vol! Dans le 'ky!' (sky)

Oh my goodness.
Well THAT was a waste of time, putting make up on five minutes ago.

Sob sob sob sob sob gulp gulp sob snort

So much bloody tree pollen down in the West, eyes streaming.

(Bumbles over to Shakey and envelops in huge soggy non-Mumsnetty hug)

Shakey there was a thread in Chat last week posted by someone who was worried that she doesn't love her son. Please please re-post what you just wrote on that thread. It's lovely.

Aaaand shakey's done it.

I'm so glad for you. X

I am a snotty streaming mess too. At work. Wonderful.

My youngest just turned 9 on Friday. Where has the time gone.

I never cry at anything except pain and I'm properly crying here. Some of these have absolutely hit me right in the heart. I am going to make sure I make more of an effort to enjoy and cherish those moments instead of rushing off to do something 'more important'.

Reading this thread has made me truly emotional! I don't even have kids hope I wont get booted out but I am truly desperate to have these feelings. It also makes me appreciate my own mum even more

Listening to next doors dcs (toddler and baby) reminded me so much of mine at that age. I often think this. Ds1 (10) still runs at me at home time just like when he was in year r. There will be no more as he start secondary school in September. I miss ds2's baby kisses, a very slimy lick! I hope he never stops laughing. He laughs so much and I hope he doesn't turn into Kevin the teenager.

Dorothy (late I know,) I have just started reading this thread and I now have tears! I say that to my boys, and ds1 is a big 10 year old and helps me get down slopes! Your DS sounds lovely and I'm glad he remembered.

I just remembered, yesterday I walked past the house I lived in as a student twenty years ago, for the first time since I left. I was with ds1, and I suddenly realised that I walked there hundreds of times and never realised how lucky I would be to have him. And his brother obviously! I just realised how far I've come.

Shakey what a lucky lucky boy. You're heroic for having managed the four years up to that point.

I didn't love mine on sight either - there's a lot of us about

I have had an rough time lately/last two weeks but it is when my dc's who are now 23 and 17 rush to make sure I am alright. Its the looking after me that has hit me with emotion that they care and love me, I love them both but never realised how much they love me... My eldest dd is taking me abroad on holiday on friday - all arranged in the last two weeks - I find it incredible touching that she is happy to holiday with me for a week and that to me is so very special

I wish. Slipping through my fingers like the sand in the egg timer

Skaky1500 I remember your original post. In all the years of mumsnet it has really stayed with me. I too was not maternal/am not maternal and every day I struggle with being a mother. This week in particular has really tested me mentally. I am full of guilt about this and have been really upset.your thread gave me hope.

Thank you for reposting. This thread is fab....

DD and I play this game at bathtime where I wrap her towel around her and tell her "I'm wrapping you up like a christmas present and sending you back to Santa"

the game goes that she's got to wriggle out of her towel and I've got to pretend to be annoyed about it and wrap her up again only for her to get loose again.

Anyway we've played this game for YEARS and she thinks its hilarious! No one else is allowed to play this game with her, only mummy.

Similarly, when drying her I joke "oh no, a naked bum, we need to cover it!" cue her wiggling it and me playfully smacking it.

My mum does a magic carpet game when she stays over there. They pretend the bed is a magic carpet taking them to magical places. Again, only granny can play this game.

Ahhh thanks so much everyone who has commented and given hugs (gratefully received)

daysarewherewelive do you perhaps have a link to the thread? I do post quite often on a looonnnggg running thread about regretting having kids (it can be tough reading for some) and try to offer understanding and support there

kelly1814 Hope you're ok. Please don't feel guilty, I'm certain you're doing all the right things, really I am. Because those who truly don't care wouldn't bother posting. I'm glad you have hope. It can change and I know mine happened when I wasn't willing it to happen if that makes sense?

Thanks again all (pic is of DS aged about 2 and a half